My heart rattles in my chest. I’m used to Ez’s reservedness but there’s something different about him this morning. With us alone in the healing chamber, I thought we might talk about when I contacted him through the mirror. But he seems like he’d rather spend time with half-dead Lucas than me.
He turns to another counter and picks up a mortar and pestle, then shakes in some herbs from a jar. I stand beside him.
“I’m thankful you came. I… was really lost without you guys.” My words sound stupid, all trembling and jumbled up. But it’s like I’m not even present, and I can’t help feeling like he’s angry with me.
He drops the pestle with a thud and walks across the room to a basket filled with linens. He begins tearing them into strips for bandages. I follow right on his heel.
“I’m sure I freaked you out when I randomly appeared. I built this altar of all the things I’d collected from the Enchanted Vale, and I had some of your clothes that I got from the cache and when I smelled them—”
He drops the linens. Walks back to the counter and begins mashing the herbs in the mortar with surprising intensity.
“Well, they smelled just like you. And it’s about spring in Orca Cove and I thought, how am I going to see the flowers rise and the birds call when I never got a chance to really say thank you for all you’ve done? Then you came for me. You came for me, Ez, and now I have even more to tell you—”
His hands drop to firm fists. Oh my god, he is mad. He probably hates me for bringing Lucas here. Or for wanting to come back at all. Maybe he agrees with Kel, and I really am a nuisance.
Ezryn storms off to the side of the room, yanking open a door into a small walk-in pantry. It’s filled with rows upon rows of jars, each labeled in delicate calligraphy. I wonder if it’s Ezryn’s writing. He goes to close the door, but I push my way in. The door clicks shut behind me. It’s dark, except for a single lit lantern on a shelf, causing the room to glow with orange light.
“I’m aware I’ve kind of uprooted your guys’ entire lives, but I really need you to know that when I saw you there, it was like everything fell back into place.” I gesture wildly as I talk, though the pantry is so small with the door closed, I keep accidentally smacking Ezryn in the chest. He stumbles, jangling the shelves. But I can’t stop talking. “Like my upside-down world was shifting and everything was coming back into focus. And I missed you, Ez. I missed you.”
My throat grows tight. I look up, staring into the dark T-shaped visor of his helmet. “Are you mad at me?”
A beat of silence passes between us, full and aching.
“Damn the stars,” he growls. Then his left arm flings out, smashing the lantern. I jump at the sound, the pantry now pitch-black.
“Ez?” I whisper. “I can’t see anything—”
“I know.”
There’s the heavy clunk of metal hitting the marble floor.
And I’m swept up in his arms, his hands lacing behind my back. He pushes me against the wall, and jars clatter and tinkle off the shelves, but I don’t care. Ezryn emits a purely male sound, and he kisses me.
Ezryn kisses me.
My heart flutters, and my hands instinctively fall into his hair. Oh my god—it’s so thick, curling at the nape of his neck. So, he’s got wavy hair. I store this information away like its treasure.
He kisses me harder, his mouth tender soft and crushing all at once. Stubble scratches against my cheek, and I tear a hand away to caress his jaw. I want to—need to—memorize every piece of him. That space between us that always felt so vast suddenly feels imaginary, like my body has clicked right into place against his.
His hand tightens around my waist, and his arousal presses into me. My stomach loops, and giddy lust makes my core grow hot. More, more, more. My hands can’t get enough, needing to feel the sharp point of his ears, to scratch down his neck.
He groans into my mouth, capturing my bottom lip and biting lightly before crashing against me again. My fingers dip down to the edge of his tunic, and I pull upward—
Ezryn straightens. Without his touch, I suddenly feel hollow, carved out. “Ez…” I hear a shuffle then the ting of metal. Light blinds me as he opens the door. “Ez?”
Without a word, helmet back on, Ezryn walks from the pantry and leaves the healing chamber.
18
Farron
He’s getting stronger.
Or maybe I’m getting weaker.
Regardless, the wolf is winning.
I sit on the hard stone steps leading up to the dungeon tower. Dawn has long since risen, and Rintoulo, the butler, has let me out of the cell. But I can’t make myself go downstairs or face the others.
I should be happy. Rosie’s back. She’s safe.
But each time the wolf takes over, he steals another piece of me. I knead the bridge of my nose. Is this because we’re running out of time to break the curse or am I just becoming more like the beast?
I can’t even imagine what would have happened if Dayton and Ezryn hadn’t been there yesterday. Rintoulo told me there’s a human in the healing chamber—so I didn’t murder Lucas. The thought fills me with relief, even though that man deserves nothing but agony. I don’t want any blood on my hands because of the beast’s wild rage.
What would have happened after the wolf finished with that piece of shit human? He would have gone for the next prey.
He would have hurt Rosalina. Not he. I. We are one and the same.
I pound an angry fist down on my knee.
“FARRON!”
A bellow sounds from down the staircase. Keldarion. Why would he scream my name?
I sprint down the stairs, taking them two at a time. I don’t think Kel’s ever asked for me directly in all the years we’ve lived at Castletree. I rip open the last door and slide into the entrance hall.
Keldarion stands at the top of the grand staircase as naked as the day he was born. It would be a fine painting, truly: the majestic Winter Prince in all his glory, body sculpted, and long white hair falling over his shoulders. And a look of absolute murder in his eyes… which I can only assume is meant for me.
His bellow has attracted the others. Ezryn runs up from the Spring Wing, and Dayton stumbles out from Summer. He’s got a huge gash over one eye.
My knees feel like they’re about to give out. I did that. I did that to him.
Rosalina follows behind Ezryn, her face bright red. “What’s going on?”
But Keldarion turns around and throws two things down the stairs.
Two people.
They tumble, thudding on each step, before landing in a heap at the bottom.
I rub my eyes. It’s not possible. The two people Keldarion haphazardly chucked down the stairs are princes of Autumn.
My little brothers.
“Dominic!” I cry and rush forward. “Billagin! What are you doing here? How are you here?”
Astrid runs from the Winter Wing and hands Kel a pair of fabric trousers. He yanks them on unceremoniously. “These miscreants sought to perpetrate my demise within the confines of my chamber.”
“What?” I fall to my knees and skid across the floor until I’m at my brothers’ side.
Dayton and Ezryn flank Keldarion. A show of unity, of strength. Despite the constant infighting between them, the idea of an outsider attempting to murder the Protector of the Realms…
But Kel can’t be right. My brothers aren’t assassins.
“Dom. Billy.” I touch their shoulders. How long has it been since I returned to the Autumn Realm? Since before Rosalina left. Months.
The boys sit up, and there’s a hardness to them I’ve never seen before. The twins share my unwieldy hair, though theirs is redder, their faces splattered with freckles. I imagine in Rosalina’s eyes, they would appear no more than teenagers, sprites on the cusp of manhood.
“They snuck into my chambers and tried to assassinate me.” Kel holds up a dagger, the handle clearly carved of Autumn’s red oak. He chucks it down the stairs toward them, as if to show how truly futile their attempt was. Billy snags it, quickly tucking it into his boot.
“No, no.” I touch each of their faces, trying to find the answer in their eyes. “They wouldn’t.”
“We did,” Dominic says. “And we’ll try again. No prison will keep us.”