“You don’t get to make those calls. We should have had a say—”
“I am the master of Castletree,” I roar, baring my fangs.
He rushes up to me, his incisors exposed and dripping. “And we are a family!”
“You don’t understand, Ezryn.” My body shakes. “Every decision I have made and continue to make is for her best interest.”
Ezryn gives a growl of frustration and knocks his snout against my shoulder. “She is your mate, Kel. You do not get to hide from this like you have your throne or your people. You have a duty to her.”
“Do not speak to me of duty.”
Ezryn digs his paws into the ice and his hackles rise. “My father and mother were mates. I saw their bond with my own eyes. They needed each other. When my mother d-d… Without my mother, Father is—”
“Rosalina isn’t dead,” I say. “She will find a way to live with joy and contentment. I will sleep peacefully knowing that.”
Ezryn lunges at my neck, wrestling me to the ground. “The bond cannot be broken. You are her mate. You gave up everything for him and yet you will give nothing to her?”
Fury ignites within me, and I shove Ezryn off, now tackling him to the ground. “I am giving everything up!”
“Traitor. Always a traitor. You could save your realm right now. Free yourself from this curse. And yet, you betray your people again. Betray Rosalina. Betray yourself!”
Ez wants to speak to me about being a traitor?
My teeth sink deep into his flesh, and he roars in pain. “I’m finally doing what is right, Ez,” I say against his skin. “Trust me.”
He jerks up, throwing me off balance. “You have become the very thing that nearly destroyed you.”
The sentiment makes me throw my head back and give a half-laugh, half-howl. “Is that how you see me, brother? Then fine. Let the Vale mark me as a villain. But I would lay waste to every realm, cover every field and mountain in an eternal winter, and keep you and Dayton and Farron and every being in Castletree cursed if it meant saving her.”
Rage alights in his gaze, and he tackles me. I am pinned on my back, and the entire weight of the black wolf pushes down upon me. “Tell me the truth of your bargain with Caspian,” he roars. “Tell me what it has to do with Rosalina!”
For a second, I see him behind the primal rage of the wolf. My brother, my friend. He wants to help me. He wants to keep me safe.
But I cannot tell him this truth.
For if I did, the burden would fall on him, too.
I would so much rather be his enemy than let him carry the weight of this decision with me. I tried to rest in his harbor of safety years ago. Tried to trust him with a secret.
A secret he betrayed.
And there is something much darker in my heart, something I can’t even bear to think of. Because I know what course of action Ezryn would take. An action that would either end his life or the life of…
Caspian’s words haunt my mind.
Kel, we both know if you were capable of doing that, you’d have done it when I first betrayed you.
I stay silent, even though my bones are crushing beneath his weight, and his incisors are dangerously close to my jugular.
Light shivers through the window. His body trembles over mine, the curse fading for another day. Immediately, I close my eyes as I feel the warm touch of his skin instead of fur.
I could open my eyes right now and look upon his face. Bring about the greatest shame any royal of the Spring Realm could endure. That would stop him from questioning me.
But I place a hand over my eyes. We breathe together, skin against skin. “There’s a helm in the wardrobe,” I say.
“I know,” he mumbles.
He presses on my chest to stand, and I wait to hear the clink of metal before I open my eyes. He braces his hands against the wardrobe, body muscular and tan. I’ve kept the helmet in this room precisely for an instance like this when he may need it. The downturned visor makes him look disapproving, a suitable expression. “I don’t care what your reason is, Kel,” Ezryn whispers. “You can’t treat your mate like this. You can’t treat her like this. If I were—”
“If you were her mate?” I growl.
He intakes a sharp breath. “She would never wonder for a moment that I would seize the stars from the sky for her if she asked.”
“Well, that’s where we’re different, Ez.” I fall back to the icy ground, staring up at the ceiling. “I’m doing it without her asking.”
He shakes his head and strides to the doorway, naked besides the helm. My chest grows tight, and I want to call out for him to stay.
I want to crack myself open and admit that I’ve destroyed my world for her, and I’d do it again, but it’s hard. Because I miss him.
“Ez,” I croak.
He turns to me.
“I need your forgiveness.”
He stands rigidly in the doorway, the muscles of his back tensing. “Not for this, Kel,” he whispers. “Never for this.”
I lay there on my back for a long while after he’s gone. For the first time in so long, I feel cold. The ice beneath me seeps through my skin and into my bones. I wonder if I were never to move, what would happen to me? Would I turn to ice like the castle? What would they find when they came looking for me—a skeleton of hoarfrost?
Though I don’t suspect anyone would come looking for me at all. And who could blame them?
Perhaps I shall just wait for my winter to freeze me—
A dark shape skitters on the edge of my chambers. Slowly, I turn to look when something cold presses against my throat.
A dagger.
17
Rosalina
Lucas looks like a little boy. I stroke a finger along the raised scar on my left wrist. When he’s asleep, I remember the feeling of being pulled from the ice and falling into his arms. I can almost pretend he’s innocent.
It’s morning in the Enchanted Vale, and dappled sunlight trickles through the windows into the healing chamber, dancing across the walls like butterfly wings. Of all the things I’ve wanted to do since arriving back at Castletree, being with Lucas is the very last. But I needed to make sure he was still alive, for Farron’s sake.
Lucas is in the bed closest to the window. Ezryn was already here when I arrived, sitting in a chair nearby. He’s got one hand on Lucas’s chest, one hand on his head. I’ve been standing still for about ten minutes now, watching the mellow green glow of his magic spread over Lucas’s skin.
Finally, Ezryn leans back. “He’ll remain asleep until he’s recovered. As soon as I’m certain his body has healed, he’s gone.”
“Thank you.”
Ezryn walks over to the fountain and begins rinsing his hands. I hover awkwardly behind him, swishing my skirt back and forth. Marigold has dressed me in a soft pink dress that flows over my hips and cinches at the waist. I feel like a cherry blossom drifting through the wind.
Ezryn’s barely looked at me.
I bite my thumbnail. He’s been quiet this morning, quieter than normal. Last I saw him in his fae form, he was dressed like a Ski Fun Ken Doll—which I’ve since learned was Marigold’s idea—but now he’s back in his usual gear. Sunlight glints off the elaborate vines and floral embossment on the dark gray helmet. He’s not wearing as much armor as usual, instead a tunic in a rich earthy shade with a thin leather chest piece. His brown trousers are loose and far more comfortable looking than the metal tassets he normally sports. Maybe it’s the buttery light of dawn amidst the healing chamber, but for once he looks soft.
“I really appreciate you helping him,” I say, because I can’t stand the silence.
Ezryn walks to the marble counter and picks up a cloth to dry his large, tanned hands. He says nothing.
“He doesn’t deserve your help. Or mine. But I kind of owe him a life-debt. And now… I feel free. You know?”
Ezryn nods.