Too Late

I hate that it wasn’t our investigation that ended things for Asa, but I’m relieved it’s finally coming to an end. For Sloan’s sake. Ryan, however, is probably fuming right now.

A moment later, the bedroom door opens. I glance up to see if agent Bowers found the envelope that contains my badge. I see the open envelope first, but as soon as I see who’s holding it, my relief turns into one big clusterfuck of confusion and dread.

What the fuck is happening?

Asa’s eyes meet mine.

What the fuck?

He looks down at the envelope in his hands and slaps it against his palm twice. He glances at agent Thompson and says, “I’d like some privacy with my friend, please.”

Agent Thompson nods and walks out of the room. Before he’s out the door, Asa points at agent Thompson’s blue FBI jacket with the three big yellow letters emblazoned across the back of it. “It looks so real, doesn’t it?” he says. He glances back at me. “I bought them at the costume store downtown.” He laughs and then closes the door. “The shady actors were a little more expensive than the jackets.”

No.

Fuck.

Fuck.

No.

I fell right into that one.

I can taste the bile in the back of my throat. I can feel the blood trickling out of my wrists as I struggle with everything in me to somehow get out of these handcuffs.

Asa tosses the envelope containing my badge onto the mattress, then he reaches behind his back and pulls his gun out of his pants. He takes a seat on the edge of the bed, his mouth drawn tight in anger.

“How’d you like my surprise? Luke.”

I’m looking straight at him...suddenly aware that I’ve just made the biggest mistake of my career. The biggest mistake of my life.

And all I can think about is Sloan.

I squeeze my eyes shut and all I see is Sloan.





“Have you ever seen the movie Point Break?” I ask him.

Luke is eyeing me hard—his chest is heaving, nostrils flaring. I fucking love it.

He doesn’t answer me. It’s funny that he’s so quick to open his mouth to brag that he’s a mother-fucking cop, but when it comes to me, he barely makes an effort to converse.

“I’m not referring to the new piece-of-shit remake, Luke. I’m talking about the original film with Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze. Oh, and what’s his face from the Red Hot Chili Peppers? The singer?”

I look to Luke to help me out with the guy’s name, but he doesn’t. He’s just staring me down. I don’t know why I keep waiting for him to respond. I lean back on the bed and I keep talking. “There’s a part in the movie where Keanu Reeves and his team bust a drug house. But what they don’t realize is that one of the guys who lives there is an undercover cop. And due to their impatience and lack of planning, they ruin the entire fucking investigation for the poor guy. Months and months of hard work. You remember that part?”

Naturally, he doesn’t reply. He just keeps fidgeting with the cuffs behind his back, trying to free himself.

“I was probably only ten when I saw that movie for the first time, but I couldn’t stop thinking about that part. I obsessed over it. I always wondered what would have happened had Keanu’s team only been pretending to be the FBI. I wondered how that scene would have played out had that undercover fucker come clean, only to find out Keanu wasn’t with the FBI at all. He was just pretending to be in order to weed him out. Talk about a double plot twist.”

Carter’s eyes glance to the door like someone is going to walk in and rescue him. I hate to break it to him, but it’s not gonna happen.

“Anyway,” I say, standing up. “I thought it’d be worth a shot. See if any of you fuckers were really stupid enough to try and betray me, and if you were, maybe you were stupid enough to fall for the double plot twist.” I tilt my head and smile at him. “You must be feeling really fucking stupid right now.”

His jaw twitches. So does mine, because I have no idea how to refer to him now and it’s pissing me off. Carter? Luke? Dead?

Yes. I’ll refer to him as dead.

“I mean really fucking stupid,” I say, laughing. “Why would you be so quick to reveal yourself? I’m no cop, but I’d assume breaking cover is not something you people take lightly.”

I pace the room several times, trying to work it over in my own mind. Why would anyone be in such a hurry to get out of a situation that they would compromise their identity? It’s like it was life or death for him. If he didn’t hurry up and get to someone, it’d be too late.

I slowly sit back down on the bed. “Unless...” I glance over at him. “Unless you broke cover because you’re the kind of guy who lets your emotions rule your actions. What do they call those kinds of guys? I’m pretty sure you and I had a conversation about this over lunch recently.” I glance up at the ceiling in mock thought. “Oh yeah,” I say. “Pussies.”

He doesn’t laugh at my joke.

That’s probably good, because it might have pissed me off had he laughed.

I glance over at the door and can’t remember if I locked it or not. I stand up and go check it, then turn around and face Luke again. “But the real question is, why would you be so emotional at a time like that? When you should be at the top of your undercover game? What could have been at the forefront of your mind when training and common sense should have won out?”

I take five steps toward him, until there aren’t any more steps to take. He maintains eye contact the entire time, lifting his chin to hold his stare. “Oh. That’s right. You were too worried about my fucking fiancée to do your goddamn job right!” I slam my gun against the side of his face. His head swings to the side. I’m pretty sure that blow was hard enough to knock a tooth or two loose, but he acts like it doesn’t faze him. He makes eye contact with me again, looking a little calmer than before I even hit him.

Motherfucker.

I hate that I still like this side of him. The quiet, introspective side of him that doesn’t crack from fear. It’s impressive.

Too bad the only thing that makes him crack under pressure is Sloan.

I wonder how long he’s been brainwashing her? Using her for his investigation? He’s probably been slowly turning her against me since the day they met.

I thought the casino incident was bad. I thought unleashing on my father was the angriest I’ve ever been. But I was wrong. Boy, was I wrong.

Seeing Sloan look at him for instruction earlier was by far the angriest I have ever been. Ever. I’ve never wanted to kill someone like I wanted to kill Carter in that moment. But that would have ruined my surprise, so I had to remain patient.

I slowly lift my gun and point it against the side of his head and imagine what it’ll be like when I finally pull the trigger. To watch his fucking brains splatter all over the floor. I wonder how much damage it will do to his head. Will he still be recognizable? When I pull Sloan in here to get one last look at him, will she be able to tell it’s even him? Or will his whole head explode?

I force myself to pull the gun away from his head because as curious as I am to see what it’s going to be like when I kill him, there are a few questions I need answers to before that happens.

I squat down in front of him and rest my arms on my thighs. “Did you fuck her?”

I know in this case, it’s a rhetorical question, because he’d be stupid to answer it. But he hasn’t proven to be the brightest crayon in the box today. “Where were you when you fucked her the first time? In my house? In my bed? Did she come?”

He folds his lips together, moistening them. But he still doesn’t respond. His silence is really starting to get annoying. I stand and walk to the door, double-checking that it’s locked. I’m not even sure why I want it locked; the guys have the house under control. One of them was ordered to go straight upstairs and watch Sloan. Four of them are split up between Jon and Kevin, although I’m not worried about either of them. They’re too fucking stupid to be cops, but I like the idea of letting them shit their pants for another ten minutes or so.

I’m still not sure about Dalton. But he’s in the living room with two guns to his head, so I guess I’ll worry about him after I’m finished with Carter.

“You want to know what it was like the first time I fucked her?” I ask.

Since the second I walked in here, he finally responds to one of my questions. He barely shakes his head back and forth, twice. It’s so unnoticeable; I don’t think he even realizes he did it. He must really not want to know what it was like the first time I fucked her.

Well too bad, Carter. I’m gonna tell you all about it anyway.

I sit on the bed again, but this time I sit all the way back until I’m against the headboard. I cross my feet and rest the gun on my thigh. “She was eighteen,” I tell him. “Innocent. Untouched. Poor girl had been taking care of her brother for so long she never even had the chance to be a kid. To go out, to have fun, to experience guys. Would you believe it if I told you I’m the first guy she ever kissed?”