“I go lots of places when you’ve got the kids, Jeremy,” I reply. “I could have been anywhere.”
His nostrils flare. I can practically hear the way his teeth are grinding. “Don’t make a mistake you can’t fix.”
There’s an unmistakable warning in those words. He knows I was somewhere he didn’t want me to be, and the only reason he’s not outright accusing me of it is because he acquired that knowledge in a way he shouldn’t have. God, I should have been more careful. The separation agreement is in place, so technically I’ve done nothing wrong, but Jeremy isn’t one to let the truth get in his way.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I think you do,” he says. “And if your behavior is reflecting poorly on the kids, I’ll have to intervene on their behalf. I don’t want to do that to you, Lucie, but I will if you force my hand.”
“Again, what makes you so certain that I went anywhere? Maybe I just wasn’t inside when you called.”
“If you weren’t making such a spectacle of yourself in public, I might believe you.”
He’s found one of my infinite cracks, those tiny spaces in my armor where he can slither in and make me doubt myself. Already I’m asking where I wore something inappropriate or said something stupid, because it seems entirely possible that my heels are too high or my smile is too wide or that I look like a fucking idiot every time I walk into the school or a store. Some piece of me will always be the kid no one wanted around, the kid certain there was something wrong with her. But there’s a new piece too. The woman Caleb likes, the one who’s actually good at her job and, mostly, pulling off single parenthood.
I turn and head toward the house with my shoulders back.
“Don’t fucking walk away,” he warns. “I’m not done talking to you.”
If I don’t placate him, the situation will just get worse, but the more time I spend with Caleb, the less willing I am to let Jeremy push me around, even if it’s only going to make my life harder in the end.
I keep right on walking, and he follows. The sound of the door slamming in his face is unbelievably satisfying.
29
LUCIE
CALEB
Flight just landed. Be at office in an hour.
I squirm in my seat. It’s only been three days since I left him in San Francisco, but I’m already desperate to see him again. And I’m desperate for this to begin, for it to feel like a normal relationship—one in which our texts don’t have to be sent in code, one that actually occurs in person.
Except an hour later, the text that arrives isn’t from Caleb… it’s from Harrison, asking me to swing by Caleb’s office.
I’ve never seen him here before, and though he’s both my attorney and Caleb’s, it’s a little odd to meet with us at the same time.
I tap on the door and walk in. A smile plays around the corners of Caleb’s mouth—the kind of smile that shouldn’t really be there when he’s greeting an employee.
“Hey,” he says. His voice is both rougher and softer than normal. “Harrison wants to, uh, discuss things.”
“Things,” I repeat.
“Under normal circumstances, there’s a process if two employees are dating,” Harrison says, smirking at Caleb. “You guys would just sign an agreement, since neither of you supervises the other, but I’d prefer you waited, because it could be used against you in court.”
“In court?” I ask. “How?”
“In your case, I think Jeremy will simply be harder to deal with. In Caleb’s, the process server’s having a hard time locating Kate, and until she’s gotten the paperwork or we can prove we’ve made a sufficient effort to inform her, she could still accuse him of adultery.”
“Kate would never do that,” Caleb says with quiet, unerring conviction and there’s a soft thud in my chest, as if someone’s tapped me there slightly too hard. Is a guy leaving his wife supposed to be so adamant in her defense?
Harrison’s gaze flickers to me before it returns to Caleb. “You have no idea what she’d do until she’s done it. Divorce can bring out a whole new side in people. Anyway, my point is that it doesn’t benefit either of you to make this public knowledge right now, especially in a county where we could easily be facing a judge who played golf with Jeremy’s uncle the day before. So, whatever you two are doing, do it in private. Don’t send non-work texts, and if you’re out in public, make sure it’s a group setting.”
I nod, and when Harrison rises, Caleb fights a smile, eager to have him out of the room.
Harrison groans. “You two might also want to cut it out with all the secretive looks. I’m going to leave and shut the door behind me, but please don’t use that as an opportunity to work anything out of your system.”
The moment the door closes, Caleb rises and walks to my side of the desk, pulling me to my feet. I smile against his lips as he lifts me, his hands wrapped around my waist, and sets me on his desk. “I thought we weren’t supposed to work anything out of our systems.”
“Harrison is overcautious,” he answers, stepping between my legs and kissing me again. And again. Opening my mouth, stealing my breath. He does not push, he just kisses me until I find it’s me who wants more, who wants contact, who needs his hands on my skin.
We jump at the knock on the door. I rise, smoothing my skirt. Caleb returns to the other side of the desk to hide the fact that he’s got an erection. “Come in,” he barks.
Kayleigh enters, raising a brow as if she knows exactly what was going on and does not approve—I’m surprised she’s put her phone down long enough to notice anything. “The accountant is here,” she says, lips pursed.
“Send him back,” Caleb replies, looking only at me.
She hesitates, as if she’s waiting to see me leave.
“I’ll talk to you later,” I tell him.
He nods, his mouth hitching a centimeter to the right.
I’m just passing Kayleigh’s desk when she speaks up from behind me. “He’s very busy. You need to stop wasting his time.”
My tongue prods my cheek. Kayleigh is terrible at her job, so I seriously doubt she’s saying this out of professional concern.
“He asked me to come down to his office, Kayleigh. And I’m not sure why you think his interactions with employees are your concern.”
“Fine, keep making a fool of yourself. A guy like Caleb is never going to be interested in someone like you.”
“Like I said, I was only here because he asked me to come to his office,” I repeat between my teeth. “But I’m very curious what you mean by ‘someone like you.’”
“Lots of things,” she says with a disdainful once-over. “Like, his wife has an MBA from Wharton. Where’s your master’s degree from?”
“Where’s your master’s degree from, Kayleigh?” I snap back as I walk away, pretending that there wasn’t another small plink in my chest when her target struck its goal.
I PLAY with the twins that afternoon on the beach, excited for Caleb to get home, excited to watch the kids’ faces light up as he walks down the hill. Harrison wasn’t wrong—Jeremy will definitely make my life harder if he discovers this—but I wish we could just jump six months into the future and arrive at the point where we don’t have to hide a thing.
It’s dusk when Caleb steps onto his back deck, still in work clothes...and freezes as his gaze lands on the twins. He gives me an awkward, unsmiling wave and turns to go back inside.
What the hell was that? He was clearly on his way down here until...what? He remembered I had twins?
If he hadn’t met them yet, indifference or uncertainty would make sense. But he’s spent lots of time with them…he’s seen nearly as much of them as he has me over these past months. So why is it only now that he’s acting like he wishes they weren’t around?
The twins and I go inside and move through the rest of our night with no sign of him. It’s only once I’m back downstairs in the kitchen, unloading the dishwasher, that there’s a tap on the back door.