Juliette stared at the papers for what felt like an eternity. “Yes, all right,” she said at last. “All right.”
She looked up and met Elise’s gaze once more, and Elise could feel the weight of the moment. This was the instant all of their lives would change forever. “Tell her about me. Please.” Elise reached out to grasp Juliette’s hand, squeezing so tightly that her knuckles turned white, the skin on a few fingers cracking into hairline rivulets of blood. “Whatever happens, don’t let her forget me.”
“She will never ever forget you,” Juliette replied, and this was when Elise realized that her friend was crying, her tears coming just as fast as Elise’s. “I will make sure of it. A mother is a mother forever.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Ten minutes later, Elise had dried her tears, but Juliette could still feel her friend’s grief rolling from her in waves as they made their way back into the store, where Mathilde was playing with Lucie, Alphonse, and Claude. Mathilde fit in with Juliette’s children so perfectly, and Juliette knew from looking at them now, at their closeness, that the ruse would work unless anyone had a tangible reason to be suspicious. She was very nearly a member of their family already.
What would it be like to be in Elise’s shoes right now, to have no choice but to give up one’s child to keep her safe? It was as unimaginable to Juliette as it had been to lose Antoinette several years earlier. She understood all too well, though, what it felt like to have fate steal a child, to leave one no control over a destiny already etched in the stars.
She squeezed her eyes closed and then forced them open again, pushing thoughts of her own lost daughter from her mind. She put a hand on Elise’s back, hoping that her friend felt her encouragement, just as Elise bent to Mathilde, who threw her arms around her mother’s neck.
“I love you, Maman,” the little girl said into her mother’s shoulder as Elise crushed her daughter to her.
“I will love you forever and ever,” Elise said, pulling back far enough to look into Mathilde’s eyes, but not letting her go. Mathilde squirmed a bit, and Juliette could tell that the girl had sensed that something was wrong. “Remember the stars, my love. They will lead us back together, just as we always say. As long as the stars are above us, I am out there thinking of you.”
“Fate will guide you home,” the girl mumbled, glancing up at Juliette. Juliette forced a smile, but it must not have convinced Mathilde, for she turned her attention back to her mother with a frown. “You’re sad, Maman. Why?”
“Well, my darling, it’s because I have to go away for a little while.” Elise’s voice trembled, but she kept her smile bright. “But you will be very safe and happy here with the Foulons. Think how much fun it will be to play every day with Lucie and the boys.”
Mathilde glanced up at Juliette, suspicion in her eyes, before looking back at her mother. “I go with you, Maman.”
“No, my darling.” Elise’s voice broke. “I cannot take you with me. But I will come back for you. I promise.”
Juliette looked away, before the child could see her choking on a sob.
“I go with you!” Mathilde repeated, her voice a bit higher and more frantic.
A tear slid down Elise’s right cheek, and she swiped it away quickly, replacing it with an even brighter smile. Juliette could see the pain in her eyes. “It isn’t possible, my love,” Elise said.
The little girl finally seemed to understand, her eyes welling with tears. Elise embraced her again, pulling her close against her bosom, and Juliette could see that it was taking every ounce of her friend’s willpower not to break down and cry.
Near the front of the store, Paul suddenly cleared his throat loudly, and Juliette looked up. Her eyes met his, and he lifted his chin toward the store windows. Outside, a German soldier lingered, peering in. Juliette’s heart skipped in terror for a few beats until it registered that he was studying a book in the window, a first edition of Gide’s Les Faux-monnayeurs. His gaze drifted up to find her looking at him, and then something like regret flashed across his features before he spun on a heel and strode quickly away.
“Did he see Elise?” Juliette asked as she moved closer to Paul.
His face clouded over as he looked down at her. “We are in danger as long as Madame LeClair is here.” Paul stole a glance at Elise, who was whispering in the ear of a sobbing Mathilde.
Paul was right, but how could she wrench Elise away from this moment, from the last time she might look upon her daughter’s face in months, years, maybe forever if the worst came to pass? She hesitated, and Paul nudged her, nodding pointedly in Elise’s direction.
Slowly, Juliette crossed back to Elise and Mathilde. “It is time,” she said, and Elise glanced up.
Realization seemed to cross her features, and after a second, she stood, her hand still on the shoulder of a sniffling Mathilde. “You’re right. I’m very sorry.”
“No,” Juliette said quickly. “I should be the one apologizing, for rushing you through this, but…” She let her voice trail off. They both understood the reality, that Elise would not be coming back for Mathilde for a long while.
“Promise me,” Elise said, stepping closer. Mathilde grabbed her mother’s hand and held tight. “Please, Juliette. Promise me you will protect her.”
“I will protect her as I would my own children,” Juliette heard herself say, and in that moment, she knew it was the truth, that she could not absorb Mathilde into their family without loving her as her own, without vowing to shelter her as her own. “I promise you, Elise.”
“And I promise you, Juliette, that I will do the same for your children if they ever need me.” Elise looked fiercely into Juliette’s eyes.
“There’s no need to—”
“No. I understand the situation I am putting you and your family in, Juliette. I want you to know that whatever happens, I will do whatever I can to help you, and to help your children, until my last breath.”
Paul approached from the front of the store. “It is time, Madame LeClair,” he said, his tone both firm and gentle, his eyes filled with compassion. “I am sorry, but you must go.”
“Yes,” Elise agreed, but she seemed unable to release her daughter’s hand. “For the rest of my life, I will be in your debt.”
“You owe us nothing, Madame LeClair,” Paul said. “Just do your best to survive.”
“I will return for her.” Elise’s voice had turned hard as steel. She looked at Juliette. “I will return.”
“I know.” Juliette stepped forward and hugged her friend tightly.
“Mathilde, my love,” Elise said, pulling away. Juliette could see her friend struggling mightily not to cry. “I will see you soon. In the meantime, be very good for Madame and Monsieur Foulon.” Elise bit her lip. “You must call them Maman and Papa.”
“But you are my maman.” Mathilde’s voice was so small it was almost lost.
“I will always be your maman. But this is something you must do. You must pretend that Lucie is your sister, that Alphonse and Claude are your brothers. You are part of this family now, until I come back for you. Do you understand?”
Slowly, Mathilde nodded, glancing at Juliette in fear.
“Madame LeClair,” Paul said, his tone a warning.
“I know, I know.” Elise glanced at Juliette. “How can I ever thank you enough?”
“Just live, Elise. Live, and I will see you soon.”
“Godspeed,” Paul said, and then, because Elise would never have had the strength to leave on her own, he put a hand on her back and guided her to the door. “We will pray for you.”
Elise turned once more. Mathilde was rooted to the spot, staring at her mother. “I love you, Mathilde,” she said. “I will love you forever. Remember the stars, my love. Under the stars, Mathilde, fate will guide us both home.” And then, before the tears could spill over, she turned and walked briskly away, out the door and into the obstinately sunny day without looking back.
“Maman?” Mathilde whispered, and then, as the air seemed to go out of the room, the little girl deflated, falling to the floor with a scream of anguish, and Juliette fell beside her, pulling the child into her arms and holding her tight as she cried out in vain for her mother.
* * *