“A man can still hope,” he said, letting his arm drop and waiting for me to take the lead again.
Before I took him up on the offer, I sped up, or rather, resumed the moderate pace I’d kept for the last twenty minutes. With Cameron’s chuckle behind me, I tried my best to keep my focus on the path. On my legs. On the increasingly fast beating of my heart that had absolutely nothing to do with the exertion.
“So…” I started, glancing back at him over my shoulder. Mistake. That moss-green fleece he wore made his eyes pop like emeralds. I shook my head. I’d never compared anyone’s eyes to gems before. “So I, hmm, I thought you weren’t supposed to go on a hike when the sun is coming down soon?”
“Your foot was not up for a hike,” Cameron said.
I frowned at the trail in front of me. “So what are we doing then?”
“The next best thing.”
My lips pursed, ready to complain about him being so cryptic, but then, his arm snaked around my body again, and he guided me to the left.
Ugh, he smelled so good, so woodsy and fresh and just absolutely amazing, that I couldn’t help but smell him. I sniffed him. Just like Willow or Pierogi did. And Cameron, who hadn’t missed my reaction, let out a hum.
As if that deep, throaty sound wasn’t enough, his head dipped and he said, “I’m finding it particularly hard to keep my hands off you.” I came to a halt for an instant, unable to process the bubbling sensation building between my stomach and chest. He moved us forward. “It’s seeing you in all these clothes I got for you.”
A new wave of warmth climbed up my face. But it… it felt good. No. It felt great. Hearing his words, his confession, brought me a kind of pleasure I’d never felt before. Perhaps that was why I felt the urge to quiz him. To fully understand. I glimpsed down at myself. “But I’m all layered up,” I croaked. This couldn’t be all that attractive. Or appealing. “I’m the outdoors version of an onion. You insisted. How can you find this… attractive?”
Cameron let out a dark chuckle. “Would it be so terrible if having you warm and safe makes me hard?”
My blood swooshed down.
My legs failed. I swayed against him just as his other arm came around me, securing me to his side with a grunt.
Would it be so terrible if having you warm and safe makes me hard?
Something strange was happening to my body. It was shaking, trembling in response to his words. I started to turn, feeling the need to see his face after what he’d just said.
But something in front of us made me stop.
“Cameron?” I blinked, wondering how I’d missed what was before us. “What’s this?”
It really was the stupidest question I could ask. But if the man currently supporting all my weight against his chest agreed, he didn’t say so. “We’re stargazing tonight.” He walked ahead of me and pointed to his right. “The tent is a precaution. Just in case you get too cold and want to sneak in for a minute. I left a few blankets and a thermos inside it earlier today. But we’re not camping out for the whole night.” Cameron turned around to look at me, and he gave me a small smile. “We’re parked only fifteen minutes away so we can go back whenever you want.”
We’re stargazing tonight.
My chest tightened, squishing my insides together. “You…” The word came out so rocky that I had to clear my throat. “You came by earlier to set this up? Is that why you weren’t home when Josie dropped me off?”
Cameron’s head tilted to the side, his jaw tightening. Something crossed his expression. Too quick for me to catch.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered.
“Not a single thing is wrong right now.” He stretched his hand, spreading those long five fingers I was growing obsessed with. “Come here.”
Without hesitation, I crossed the short space that separated us. I looked at his hand as it hovered in the air, waiting for me. For us. And when I took it, I felt the touch of his skin deep in my gut. Something changed in that moment, I could feel it. Sense it shifting. Cameron guided me closer to the tent, releasing my hand to set down the backpack he was carrying. He produced and unrolled a thick blanket, setting it down on the ground, then pulled out of the tent an outdoorsy version of what I’d consider a picnic basket. Finally, he sat down on one side of the blanket, stretching his legs.
It was when he glanced up at me, a slow smile playing on his lips, that I realized I hadn’t moved. He tugged down at the hem of my jacket, his mouth fully giving way to that grin I loved so much. But I still didn’t move.
“Darling,” he chastised, amusement dancing in his voice. “If you don’t quit looking at me like that, I can’t promise I’ll let you see a single star tonight.”
Promise me, I wanted to say. Promise you won’t. Promise you are all I’ll see tonight. But I didn’t. I joined him on the blanket, my heart pounding with anticipation and… possibility. Yes, it had to be that making me breathless. A warm container was placed gently in my hands, and when I looked up, Cameron’s eyes were on me. His expression was soft and hard, all at once.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
Cameron’s answer was a tilt of his head in the direction of my lap. The thermos. I lifted it up and took a tentative sip, tasting cocoa and milk. Warmth surged through me, partly because of the drink but mostly because of the man by my side. I set my eyes on the horizon before us, on the line the sloping terrain drew and how the sun had now almost disappeared behind it.
“I don’t know what to say,” I told him honestly, glancing sideways and discovering he hadn’t stopped looking at me. “I’m not used to… this.” I knew Cameron understood I wasn’t talking about the outdoors, or the views, or warm beverages and thick blankets. That’s probably why I turned back to look at the darkening sky. Soon, scattered points of light would spark to life above us. “The sun hasn’t fully set yet and it’s already so beautiful. I wasn’t expecting that.”
“It really is beautiful,” he agreed, and dear God, I could feel his eyes on me. “You gave me the idea, you know.”
I frowned. “How?”
“The night at the lake,” he answered with a low chuckle. “You were lying on your back, covered in goat shit, and you were looking at the stars. You were not frowning, or wincing in pain, you were in blissful awe for a moment.” I looked over at him, finding him shaking his head. “I’d never seen that look on your face. And the realization of how beautiful you looked and how outrageously I wanted you right then assaulted me. It caught me so off guard that I couldn’t even speak.” His jaw clenched. “And then you made it worse.”
Words left me with a rocky exhale. “I did?”
“You had to go into the lake and pull that goddamn goat out of the water like your life depended on it,” Cameron rasped out with a humorless laugh. “You, in heels and a fucking suit I…” A puff of air left him. “God, I’d never been more shocked and turned on in my whole life.” His throat worked. “I think part of me decided that night that I would be taking you here.”
I brought the thermos to my lips again, willing my heart to quiet, to stop drumming on my temples and let me enjoy the peace of this stunning place. But Cameron’s words kept echoing in my head. The weight of them and what lay in between them. In between us.
My eyelids fluttered for an instant, and before I realized what I was saying, the words were leaving me. “What’s next for you, Cam?”
It was the audible hitch in his throat that made me realize I’d called him Cam and not Cameron. “I don’t know,” he answered, and I could hear the honesty in his voice. I could also tell there was a hint of… fear, perhaps. Of uncertainty. “There’s a pundit gig on the table, in London. I don’t want it.”