It’s an odd question.
“Do you know,” Chloe says, “I was about to say flying, because I hate it. But actually, I think the most scared I’ve ever been was last summer. My flat was burgled. I woke up to find my laptop was gone. The police thought it might have been a crazed fan, so I had the locks changed and everything because there was no sign of forced entry. And I couldn’t sleep for weeks.”
I remember Chloe after that. She came to stay at mine and Andrew’s, convinced that some stalker was going to come and murder her. She ended up staying with us far longer than the one night originally agreed, but even Andrew seemed okay with her staying, telling me she’d gone through something traumatic and to have a bit more sympathy.
“It’s the fact I was fast asleep and they were in there,” she says. “They could have done anything.”
Poppy has both eyebrows raised. “You wouldn’t want someone to take advantage when you’re at your most vulnerable.”
Chloe doesn’t know how to respond to that.
“Anyway!” She spins the bottle, and it lands on Poppy.
“Dare,” she says.
Chloe drinks the rest of her glass, then grabs the bottle of vodka to refill. “I know, I dare you to shave your eyebrows.”
Esther spits out most of her drink. “You can’t get her to do that! That’s too far.”
“Chloe always likes to take it too far.” Poppy stands, brushing sand away from her legs. “But I’ll still do it.”
“Is she really going to?” I ask, as Poppy strides away from us.
“She’s bluffing,” Esther says. “Chloe, that was harsh even for you.”
“That’s what she gets for making us go on that scavenger hunt,” Chloe says. “It’s a dare, she has to do it.”
Poppy returns with a razor, and to our astonishment shaves a part of her eyebrow off. A clear line break appears just at the arch, and she repeats this on the other side.
“There.” She throws the razor down, and turns her face towards us. “You didn’t say how much of my eyebrows I had to shave. But I’ve shaved them.”
There’s something about it. She looks wilder, more dangerous. It suits her.
Chloe scowls; she wasn’t expecting Poppy to outsmart her, nor to look good as the end result. But she can’t complain. Poppy did as dared.
I’m starting to feel tipsy. The rest of them are getting drunk too. Tanya’s eyes are glazed over and Chloe’s pouring herself yet another drink. Even Esther is drinking away and giggling at Poppy’s antics. It’s just Poppy who has a modicum of sobriety.
Poppy spins the bottle but it’s a weak attempt. It barely does one rotation before it ends up back at Esther, who groans at it being her second turn already.
“Truth this time,” she says. “I’m only just dry!”
“Is it true you got your job because your mother knows your boss?” Poppy asks.
Esther is stung; it’s her sorest subject. I should know, I like to make jibes about it even though I know it bothers her. Why do I always like to pick at people’s insecurities? I know I’m doing it, in fact that’s almost why I do it in the first place. There’s something about watching someone’s face fall and know you’re the one that caused it, that you’re in the stronger position.
It’s what used to make me gravitate towards Poppy so much at school.
“My mother got me the interview,” Esther says sharply. “I still had to prepare for it. I still had to prove I was worthwhile enough for the job. And I am. I’m amazing at it, no one can deny that. I should be answering a million different emails right now but I can’t because I’m stuck on this island and you have a stupid phone rule, so don’t talk to me about not being worthy of my job!”
“I didn’t say that,” Poppy says. “That was you.”
“Maybe we should just leave it now,” Chloe says nervously.
“Oh, it’s bloody true, Esther, and you know it.” Tanya lifts her head from her drink and scowls. “Think of the thousands of applications they wouldn’t have even looked at. You bypassed that whole part. You think you’re better than everyone?”
Oh God.
Tanya is not a nice drunk. She gets mean very quickly, homes in on a target and attacks, even if we’re all meant to be on the same side here. How much has she had to drink? She’s shaking as she grabs another bottle and pours the contents into her glass, and she almost misses her mouth.
“Oh, because the people you work with are so much better!” Esther snaps. “How much does it cost to hire you to run an event again?”
“That’s the point. I know what I’m talking about.”
“And how’s Harry?” Esther asks. “Did he cheat on you? Is that why you kept it quiet? I wouldn’t have expected it from Harry, but why else would you not say anything?”
“Esther.” I place a hand on her shoulder. Tanya’s face is fuming. “Don’t do that.”
“Why not? She started it! And she’s got a bloody cheek talking to me about job competency, let me tell you.”
“No one started it!” Chloe shouts. “It was a stupid game. Just leave it.”
The outburst leaves us in silence. Esther and Tanya can’t even look at each other, and Chloe is shaking her head at both of them. Poppy is an avid audience member, eyes wide, hints of enjoyment crossing her face.
“My turn!” I declare wildly, taking the bottle and pointing it at me. “Ask me something. I pick truth.”
Esther takes a deep breath and closes her eyes for a moment. When they open, her posture relaxes, and I can see she’s decided to let it go. Thank God for that. Tanya still looks upset, but she’s returned to her drink, nursing it with both hands.
Poppy takes advantage of Esther being distracted and asks a question of her own. “When do you want to start a family?”
Not that question. Why is it a woman in her twenties can’t go more than five seconds without someone asking that dreaded question?
“I’m not sure I want to.”
Poppy lets out a noise of surprise and we all turn to her. “Sorry,” she says. “I just thought you were like, number one housewife.”
“I’m not sure what I am,” I say.
“But you love Andrew,” Poppy says. “Right?”
“Right.” Of this, at least, I am sure.
I lean forward and spin the bottle.
It lands at Chloe.
“Dare.” She grins. “But I’m not having you get revenge on me by telling me to shave my hair off. No repeating dares!”
“I dare you to down the rest of the vodka.”
There’s still at least enough for four shots in there. It’s an insane idea.
“She can’t do that,” Esther says. “Poppy, you’re a doctor. You should know that.”
Poppy holds her hands up in surrender. “Fine. Half the remaining vodka. Is that a fair compromise?”
“I don’t compromise,” Chloe says. “Shut up, Esther, you’re always too much of a goody-goody.” She grabs the bottle and chugs it back, her face squirming in discomfort. Some of it spills outside her mouth, dripping down her chin, but she succeeds, the vodka finished. She places the bottle back on the table but it slips from her grasp and crashes down onto the sand, mercifully not breaking. “Jesus.” Her voice is slurred; the effects are instant. “There!” she cries.
“I think it’s time we all had some more drink.” Poppy pours the rest of us some wine, then gives herself some cider. “Come on!”
It’s getting more difficult now. I find myself holding my hand to my mouth to keep everything in.
Is my hand shaking? Things are starting to become blurry.
“Sorry for what I said about Harry,” Esther blurts out. “That was rude of me. Are we okay?”
Tanya sighs. “No, I’m sorry for what I said about your job.”
Chloe chooses that moment to barrel between them both, wrapping an arm around each of their shoulders. “Are we friends again? Hooray!”
“Piss off, Chloe,” Esther says, but she smiles.
“It’s hard keeping secrets from one another, isn’t it?” Poppy says.
“We don’t keep secrets,” Chloe says.
“Now we both know that’s not true.”
“Hey.” Chloe struggles to her feet again, pointing a finger outwards. “Don’t pick on me. What about Tanya, she’s—”
“Chloe!” Tanya snaps.
Poppy nods. “No, no. You’re right, it’s not just you. It’s everyone.”
“Everyone?”
It’s the last thing I remember saying. The rest of the night passes by in a blur, vague shapes of us getting up and dancing at one point, singing at the top of our lungs, being supplied with more drinks. This seems to go on for hours, coupled with reaching for handfuls of party food. We become united as a five, for the first time ever, partying and chatting, but I can’t remember the conversations.
At some point there was an argument. I remember raised voices. Tanya? Tanya was angry at someone, I think. Was it Poppy?
I don’t remember going to bed, but I must have eventually, because I wake up to a sudden bang in the night, followed by some rustling. My head is pounding and my mouth is dry.
“Hello?” I mumble, but when I turn over to look there’s nothing, just the empty room around me and silence. Turning over is enough of an effort to make me groan, the room spinning.