His voice calmed the panic in my chest.
He talked about how being with Corvus and Scorpius had saved him.
How Corvus secretly had a soft side you would never believe unless you saw him in his home. How Scorpius could make pain feel greater than pleasure ever could.
My stomach flipped, and a whimper escaped my lips.
Orion changed topics, and he talked about the euphoric feeling of unleashing his powers with his mates. He said it felt divine but also like torment because their mating bond wasn’t complete.
There was a painful knot in his chest that wound tighter when they unleashed their abilities. When they lost all awareness, it felt wrong, like they were being punished for not having their fourth.
I listened intently.
What he described was so foreign I couldn’t even imagine it. To have so much power that it felt like euphoria—it sounded like a fairy tale.
Then Orion randomly asked softly, “What’s with Luka?”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Uh.” He cleared his throat. “Why’s he always so quiet? I’ve noticed that he seems—intense.”
The tone of his voice was weird, and I couldn’t place it.
“John’s hinted that he’s been through a lot,” I said. “He’s a very protective, intense guy.” I smiled. “But he’s secretly a softie.” I thought about all the times he’d helped me during training, and we hadn’t even known each other.
Orion was silent.
“Why do you ask?”
He cleared his throat. “Just wondering. I’ve noticed him watching me sometimes, and I was wondering if that was something he usually does?”
His words startled me. “No, it’s not—he usually only looks at me and John. Sometimes I don’t think he knows other people exist.”
Orion made a noise in the back of his throat. “Interesting.”
I smiled to myself. “He also has wicked-cool tattoos and a piercing somewhere you’d never expect.”
“Really?” Orion asked, the interest clear in his voice.
Grinning, I launched into a detailed account of every fine-line tattoo that covered Luka’s chest.
As I talked, the ice on my toes didn’t seem like such a big deal.
After a while of objectifying Luka, I asked more questions about Orion’s childhood, and he launched into a captivating tale of survival.
Yet again I drifted off to sleep, but this time in the shower to the sound of an enchanting voice.
The nightmares stayed away.
I dreamed of grassy pastures, rolling hills, cherry blossoms floating on a warm summer breeze, and Orion smiling as he talked to me.
Chapter 14
Aran
PARTY
Reverie (noun): the condition of being lost in thought.
DAY 9, HOUR 19
“A safe place for the soldiers to unwind.”
That was what Lothaire had called Elite Academy last week. The unspoken I’m doing this for you, my daughter had hung in the air between us.
Yesterday, he’d burst into our sleeping barracks and dumped RJE devices onto the floor. “In recognition of your sacrifices, I procured these for you and your soldiers. Your old room and the academy’s servants are yours to use. Thank you for your service.”
He’d ruffled my blue curls and whispered, “You’re doing great.”
Then he’d RJE’d away, and I’d gaped at the place where he’d stood.
One day, a man’s hitting you with a baton and the next he’s trying to be a cool dad.
Life comes at you fast.
Now we were back partying in our bedroom at Elite Academy, and it didn’t feel like a safe place.
It felt wild.
Muted red light, so dark it was almost black, filtered through the stained-glass windows and cast shadows over the dancers.
I wanted to scream with grief over the war, and I would have, but…
I couldn’t feel my face.
I also couldn’t feel my back or my limbs.
Or the crushing existential despair that was squeezing my—wait, never mind, that was still present.
I danced as the party raged around me.
My hands waved in the air, diamond bracelet glittering for all to see, as my hips rolled against the masses of sweaty flesh. The floor beneath my feet was covered in black ice and sent some partygoers falling to the ground.
I bared my teeth with satisfaction as another student fell.
We were all just carnal beasts looking for our next fix.
A few feet away, Ghost kissed a burley male student, who liked to make homophobic and misogynistic comments, on the lips, and he fell to the ground, convulsing and foaming at the mouth.
I gave Ghost a high five as he floated past. His incorporeal hand went through me, and I shivered.
We loved an ally.
Apparently, he was not constrained to the library, because he glided around the party, sending students into comas.
Tears filled my eyes.
I’d missed Ghost so much, and things just weren’t the same without him around because no one traumatized people like he did.
He had a rare gift.
Demon brew coursed through my veins as bodies gyrated around me, and instead of crying, I did what I did best in life.
Drugs.
Sun god bless the demon culture; they were the true silent heroes of the realm for helping us all get so gloriously wasted.
I saluted Zenith, who was across the room, grinding on Vegar.
Zenith scowled back at me, and I blew him a kiss.
He rolled his eyes, but I could tell from his acerbic expression that he secretly loved the attention.
Bodies shifted in the packed room and blocked my view of the demons.
I tipped my head back and smoked.
Rolling my body to the beat, I held up my hand, and five fingers waved in and out of focus. Five. It had been five days since we’d slaughtered an entire compound full of people.
Now the party (funeral) raged in our old bedroom with enchanted music, soldiers, naked students, drugs, sex, and alcohol.
The PTSD wasn’t included.
I brought my own.
“Fuck you,” I snarled at no one in particular as faces blurred around me. The singer crooned on the speakers, and I exhaled a cloud of smoke.
“You tell them,” Sadie shouted over the music. “You get ’em, girl.”
She moved against me, gyrating her hips and swinging her arms in what most parts of the realm called “having an episode.”
I chuckled to myself as I remember how thinking about her dancing had saved me from my attraction to Malum.
In the present, in what was supposed to be a seductive move, she spread her arms wide and jumped into a split.
Shockingly her legs locked a few feet from the floor.
She screamed in pain and fell over.
“I think I pulled my crotch,” she moaned pitifully.
Between gasps of laughter, I said, “You know, I picture you dancing when I’m trying not to be turned on.”
She smacked at my hands as I tried to help her up. “Please, we both know it’s the opposite.”
“I’m not joking,” I said, laughing uncontrollably as she struggled to stand.
She lowered her voice and leaned close to me as she half shimmied, half twitched. “Whatever you say, sweet stuff.”
I pushed her away. “That is exactly what I was talking about. It’s just weird.”