After a long moment of gasping, I finally said, “How does forming the bond prove anything?”
“It proves we don’t care if you’re not perfect.” Scorpius stepped forward and caressed his graceful fingers down the side of my face. “We don’t care if the mate bond is messed up—we don’t care if you’re not a perfect Revered, like you put it. Corvus is right, we just want you.”
“Please,” Orion mouthed.
I was shell-shocked.
How could they want the bond when they knew it could hurt them like it was hurting the twins?
They were supposed to want me to help fix their powers and make them stronger. They weren’t supposed to want me when I could break them further.
“But what about my back?” I said weakly.
“I refuse to hurt you,” Malum said immediately. “The bond is formed through intimacy and acceptance—but it’s not an exact science.”
Scorpius explained like he’d put a lot of thought into it, “The crucial part is that we all mentally accept the mating bond. The intimacy is more symbolic of what’s occurred, but the key is your acceptance. We can make your participation as painless as possible.” His lips turned up wickedly. “For now.”
Malum looked at where the twins were touching me. “We think it will also help your bond with the twins. If more souls are involved, it will counteract the damage.” He exhaled. “I know how much they mean to you.”
I glanced at the twins and was momentarily shocked by how horrible they looked. The pallor to their skin and dark circles were worse than the days prior. They were suffering because of me.
“Don’t worry about us,” John said as he flashed a dimple, but he ruined it by wincing as he shifted like he was in physical pain.
Orion whispered, “If all of us are connected to your soul, we can alleviate what’s been done to you.”
“Let us help you,” Malum pleaded.
Scorpius shook with barely constrained anticipation. “Let us own you. Body and soul. No matter the consequences—please.”
I rubbed the back of my neck, possibilities and probabilities unfolding in my mind’s eye. Mentally I made a checklist.
Pros to bonding with the kings:
It might help ease the twins’ pain.
It might give me the ability to stop the kings once they began using their powers and potentially save the angels and assassins tomorrow.
The lack of bond might be why I was struggling to fly.
I’d finally have a big family to call my own.
Cons to bonding with the kings:
Their overbearing possessive slightly stalkerish personalities.
Mitch.
I sighed because it was a super close one; Mitch alone was making it hard to agree to their proposal.
Luka whispered in my ear, “Whatever you decide to do, we’ll stand by you. No matter what.”
I leaned against him and closed my eyes as I soaked up the support of the twins. When I opened my eyes, the kings were still staring at me with pleading, desperate expressions.
You didn’t know who someone was until you saw them suffer. Times of torment revealed more truths than any times of peace ever could.
They were serious.
They didn’t care that I was broken.
They didn’t care that I also needed the twins.
Something in my expression made Malum look away with devastation.
I had feelings for the kings, and I didn’t want to see them hurt.
You could let the dark times rip everything away from you, or you could survive them and build something brighter.
It wasn’t really a choice.
“Okay.” I cleared my throat. “Yes. I’ll be your mate.”
Orion’s jaw dropped, and Scorpius covered his mouth with his hand.
John chuckled and ruffled my hair, and Luka gave me a soft kiss on my cheek.
Malum stumbled back like he’d been punched. “You mean it?” he whispered with shock as his cheeks turned bright pink. “You really mean you’re going to accept the bond—Aran?”
I shrugged and tried to act like him saying my proper name didn’t make my stomach flutter. “It makes sense,” I said with feigned casualness. “The logic is sound.”
My heart beat irregularly in my chest.
Turned out I liked to make major life decisions spontaneously. I’d agreed to marry the twins on a whim, and now this.
This was either going to be a special moment or an impulsive choice that I would regret for the rest of my immortal life.
Only time would tell.
Malum leaned forward and reached for me like he was going to tackle me to the floor, but he pulled his hands back at the last moment and grimaced. “We have to mate now because we fight tomorrow. We also have to do it without hurting you.”
Scorpius pushed past him, grabbed my face with both hands, and kissed me passionately. He tasted like bergamot and sin. I moaned into his mouth as his tongue speared against mine.
Little streaks of pain exploded down my spine.
He yanked his lips away from mine. “How was that?” he rasped.
“Mmmm,” I answered intelligently.
Milky white eyes looked off into the distance. “Your back, Arabella. How is your pain level?”
“Bearable,” I said honestly.
Scorpius dragged his nails across my cheeks. “It better be.” He smirked. “Here’s what we’re going to do.”
“Are you sure about this?” I asked for the millionth time as I rolled my pipe between my lips.
This was different from how we usually kissed. All those moments had been explosive bouts of uncontrolled passion.
This was deliberate.
Planned.
A conscious choice to be intimate.
The bedroom was shrouded in shadows. Night had fallen and a blizzard raged.
The kings stood on the superbed in the middle of the floor. We’d once again pushed our mattresses together.
I sat on the corner on Luka’s lap with John’s head in my lap.
Every time I fidgeted with my pipe, John grabbed my fingers and brought them back to his hair. If he was a cat, he would have been purring as I played with his messy locks.
Luka’s thumbs traced soft circles underneath my sweatshirt.
I was cozy and warm.
I was also freaking out.
“I don’t think this is going to work,” I said anxiously as I tugged at John’s hair.
John snuggled deeper into my lap and mumbled, “It’s fine. Stop panicking.”
“I’m not,” I lied. Ice spread from my fingers onto his hair, but he didn’t seem to mind.
Orion held his hands out cautiously like he was talking to a skittish animal. He whispered, “It’s okay, sweetheart. The important part is that you mentally accept all of us as your mates. The physical part is simple—just tell us what you want us to do.” He glanced back and forth between Luka and me.
“We can give you suggestions,” Malum offered, his voice rougher than usual. “If that helps.”
I nodded, unable to do much else.
Malum frowned. “Just make sure you tell us if your back hurts—please. We’ll stop immediately. You have to tell us. No more enduring in secret.”
“I will. I promise.”
Scorpius cocked his brow, looking every bit the arrogant king. “Do you want us to take off our clothes?”
My breath caught.