“But it doesn’t sound like Aran’s voice,” Sadie argued.
Jinx shook her head and looked morose. “Of course it’s not her speaking voice—it’s a piece of her soul. Although, I’ve always found it surprising that you hear it as a voice, it must be your body recognizing that it’s a pattern of thinking separate from your own. However, there must be a fundamental compatibility between you two that defies physics for it to guide you like it does. A specialized analytical piece of Aran tries to save you from the inside—it’s mind-blowing if you think about it.”
I reached over and grabbed Sadie’s hand.
We looked at each other.
We were bonded in friendship down to our very souls.
It was almost heartwarming, if horrendous soul mutilation could ever be called such a thing.
Our hands were shaking as we held each other.
“But Dick was the one who whipped me—” Sadie’s voice filled with horror. “Is he the leader?”
Jinx’s voice was monotone. “I’ve been enchanted not to disclose the names of the leaders.”
“He looked me in the eye and lied to me,” Sadie snarled. “No wonder that halo thing they gave me never did anything. It was all a ruse to make me compliant in their games.”
I shivered even though it was feverishly warm.
“What’s the point of it all?” Sadie asked.
Jinx shrugged. “Control of the realms. Politics. Power. War.” Her eyes were deadened. “The usual things.”
“My depression?” I asked, my voice exploding louder than I’d meant to speak.
“You’re missing a piece of your soul,” Jinx stated softly.
“That’s why our guardian connection is so unreliable,” I said numbly. “That’s why the soul bond with the twins only shows pain.”
“Correct,” Jinx said tiredly.
Muted colors. Empty feelings. My mind palace had gaps when I was fourteen years old. I thought I was abducted by aliens. Dick and the hooded man were always around.
So many things made sense.
I asked, “What was the voice that overtook the people and spoke in rhymes to Sadie and me?”
Jinx sighed heavily. “Members of the Angel Consciousness that worked with the High Court to guide you.”
I fired off another question. “I’ve heard a male voice speak to me when I’ve done…things.”
“The leader.” Jinx scoffed. “They couldn’t forge a mental connection, so they tried to actually speak aloud to you.”
Dick was nearby when I’d ate my mother’s heart. He was also nearby when I killed in the beast realm. Both times that I’d heard a voice.
“Did it cause the bond sickness?” I asked warily.
Jinx picked at the rubble. “I don’t think so. It seems to be a genuine effect of how the kings treated you. It was probably fixed when you bonded to the twins because your soul changed.”
That was also my deduction.
“The reason I can’t fly?” I asked. “The ice I can’t control?”
Jinx shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not omniscient.”
My head spun.
I couldn’t think of anything else to ask.
Sadie spoke up. “You said there were four discarded players used to make your adoption to Jax’s family legitimate.” Her raspy voice had an edge to it I’d never heard. “There is only Jess and Jala…who are the other two?”
Jinx didn’t answer.
The energy shifted, and suddenly the sweltering room felt freezing.
“Jen and Jan,” Jinx whispered, her voice barely audible. “They were twins.”
“What happened to them?” Sadie asked.
“Randomly, some people are immune to my—abilities. Like Warren. I don’t know why or how it happens.”
Sadie stated harshly, “They were immune. What did you do?”
Jinx’s eyes were wide like she’d seen a ghost. Her broken fingers tangled in the fabric of her ripped shirt. She said nothing.
“What happened to them?” Sadie asked, her voice hard as steel.
“The leader killed them because I couldn’t wipe their memories.” Her voice cracked. “I tried to save them.” She shuddered. “But he killed them.”
“You wiped our memories,” I whispered. “We don’t even know their names.”
Sadie covered her mouth as she made a wounded noise.
Jinx curled up like she was trying to make herself smaller and whispered, “They made me do it. And now you’ll never be able to remember.”
No one spoke another word.
This time, the silence hurt worse than the physical pain.
Chapter 56
John
BLOOD TRAILS
Erythrophobia (noun): morbid avoidance of the color red.
DAY 36, HOUR 12
“We’ve checked everywhere. They aren’t here!” I yelled with frustration and kicked debris down the corridor. I pressed my hand against my chest and focused on the empty feeling inside. It was the only thing that kept me from losing it completely.
“Where are you Aran?” I whispered dejectedly as I stepped over the burned remains of ungodly.
The world was colored in shades of gray. Every breath I took pulled at the freshly healing wound that covered my back, which hurt far worse than any ordinary injury.
I welcomed the emptiness.
The coldness.
The pain.
It all meant one thing—Aran was still alive.
Luka gripped my bicep; his eyes were unfocused as he stared down the empty corridor. He hadn’t spoken since we’d realized Aran had gone missing, and darkness shimmered, stretching around him in an amorphous mass.
He looked how I felt.
Haunted.
“They aren’t here,” Cobra hissed, slit pupils glowing bright green as shadows writhed across every inch of his pale skin. “My snakessss have combed the structure. They’re gone.”
Xerxes rubbed at his chest. “Our bond is growing fainter, which means she’s injured. We need to find her soon.”
“Where the fuck would they have gone?” Ascher asked, his tattooed knuckles cracking as he slammed his fist into the brick wall.
“We need resources,” Scorpius said harshly. “We need to leave and get help. The angels and assassins are handling the soldiers and perimeter, so we’re wasting time waiting. We need Lothaire. The High Court. Fucking anyone. Now.”
Orion nodded.
Footsteps echoed, and excitement burned my throat. Luka’s grip tightened on my arm, and we both held our breath.
Corvus appeared around the corner and barked, “Did you find them yet?”
It wasn’t Aran. Hope plummeted so swiftly that I felt lightheaded with disappointment.
“No,” Jax snapped as he glared down at the corpse of an infected.
Corvus growled like a wild animal and staggered back. Flames shot off his tongue as he said, “All the ungodly are dead. They aren’t here.”
“We need to get help,” I said, and all the men nodded as we moved together.
Corvus slammed his hand down on the RJE device.
CRACK.
We knelt in the strategy room.
“The board!” Jax shouted, and all of us turned to see what he was gesturing at. The room exploded in expletives and noise.
Scrawled across the blackboard in large letters was, “Sadie and Aran, portal back 1st battle, trapped in basement w/ ~100 ungodly. BRING REINFORCEMENTS. SPEED. FOLLOW MY TRAIL -Jinx.”
Before I’d finished reading the message, Orion grabbed an RJE device from the drawer.