I shrugged. “It wasn’t a big deal.”
“I’m just wondering what really happened. According to Doris Tilburn, you were on a date with the girl and he showed up claiming she was his wife. But Margie Hauser said he was her ex-boyfriend, not her husband, and you threw him out of the bar. Amy Garrett heard it was Zachary, not you, or that you almost started a fight but Zachary stopped it. I know that one’s just town gossip, Zachary would escalate a situation, not calm it down.”
She wasn’t wrong about Zachary. He’d turned escalating situations into an art form. “You know better than to listen to what the gossips in this town say.”
“Of course I do. That’s why I’m asking you.”
I took my plate to the living room and sat in an armchair. “Why do you care?”
“Call it motherly curiosity. You’re not exactly forthcoming about what’s going on in your life. Whether or not there really was drama at the Timberbeast, it makes me wonder if you were out with a girl.”
“I wasn’t.”
“Then what happened?”
I let out a breath. “Her ex-boyfriend showed up and wouldn’t leave her alone.”
“And you intervened?”
“Yeah.”
“Hm,” she said, and I couldn’t tell what it meant. “Did you throw him out?”
“I got him to leave.”
“Good for you. I’m sure the girl appreciated it.”
“Audrey.”
The corners of her lips twitched. “So you do know her.”
“She’s a tenant.”
“But you know her name.”
“Yeah. She’s a tenant.”
“Tell me the name of one of your other tenants. Any one.”
I went back to my food.
“See? You don’t remember names unless they’re important to you.”
“She’s not important to me. She’s a pain in my ass. I had to help her hold a funeral for a dead squirrel this morning.”
Dad came in through the back door right as I said dead squirrel. His brow furrowed. “Where was there a dead squirrel?”
“Audrey’s house,” Mom chimed in.
“Who’s Audrey?” Dad asked.
“The girl Josiah saved from her ex-boyfriend at the Timberbeast.”
His thick brows drew in closer. “Why did a girl’s ex-boyfriend have a dead squirrel?”
I dropped my fork onto the plate. “That’s what I’d like to know.”
It was Mom’s turn to look confused. “What does the dead squirrel have to do with her ex?”
“The dead squirrel was at the Timberbeast?” Dad asked. “I thought you said Audrey’s house. The Timberbeast has had a squirrel problem ever since that Bailey prank all those years ago. Not usually dead ones, though.”
“No, dead squirrel, her house,” I said, gesturing like I was putting something in a box. “Douchey ex, Timberbeast.”
“Then why are we talking about dead squirrels?” Dad asked.
“Because Josiah likes her,” Mom said.
I groaned.
“The squirrel?” Dad asked.
“No, Audrey.”
“Who’s Audrey?”
“One of your tenants,” Mom said. “Josiah intervened at the Timberbeast when her ex was harassing her. And he held a funeral for a dead squirrel at her house. Those are separate things.”
“So the ex didn’t have anything to do with the squirrel,” Dad said.
Mom shook her head. “No.”
“Maybe,” I said.
“Do you think so?” Mom asked, turning back to me.
Dad crossed his arms. “Are you saying we have a tenant whose ex left a dead squirrel at her house?”
“I don’t know. But I’m suspicious. He comes to the Timberbeast, I chase him off, then she winds up with a dead animal on her doorstep the next morning.”
Mom winced. “That’s disturbing.”
“You’re probably reading too much into it,” Dad said. “There are more squirrels than humans around here. Sometimes they die.”
“It didn’t just die of old age. Something killed it.”
“A coyote, maybe?” Dad asked.
“A squirrel would be a snack for a coyote,” I said. “I doubt one would kill it and leave it behind without eating it.”
“Maybe a bird of prey,” Mom said. “It could have been dropped there.”
“Right in front of her door?”
“The placement is odd,” she said. “But it’s not impossible. An owl could have been flying low and something scared it away before it could pick up its prey.”
“She does have a dog,” I said.
“There you go. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. There’s so much wildlife out here. It was nice of you to give it a funeral.”
Dad’s brow furrowed again.
“Don’t ask.” Hoping to change the subject, I gestured to my half-empty plate. “This is really good, Mom, thanks. Don’t even miss the pasta.”
Mom beamed at me. “Thank you.”
Dad just grunted.
I went back to my food. Dad grunted again, then went to the fridge and took out the rest of the leftovers. I noticed Mom’s smirk, but she didn’t say a word.
Someone knocked on the door. I half-expected one of my brothers to walk in, but Mom set her knitting aside and got up to answer it.
“I’ll get it.”
“Who’s here?” Dad asked.
“Louise. I invited her for tea.”
Dad went back to heating his leftovers.
I thought about making a break for it out the back door. But Mom was already greeting Aunt Louise in the entry.
Too late.
Today’s track suit was forest green, making an odd contrast with her bright pink lipstick. As soon as she caught sight of me, her eyes lit up and her lips pressed into a knowing smile.
“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the town hero.”
I did my best not to groan. “Hi, Aunt Louise.”
She swept into the living room and sat on the edge of an ottoman. “I hear you were quite the gentleman last night. Tell me everything.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“Don’t be so modest. You certainly moved up a few spots on the bachelor hierarchy.”
My brow furrowed. “What’s the bachelor hierarchy? On second thought, never mind. I don’t want to know.”
“It’s just an unofficial ranking system of eligible Tilikum men.”
“I said I didn’t want to know.”
“We’ve divided it into age brackets,” Louise said, ignoring me. “And points are given for things like job stability, hygiene, style, and personality.”
“That’s kind of messed up. You know that, right?”
She waved off my comment. “It’s all in good fun. And our wagers are never for money.”
“You’re betting on this stuff?” I turned to my mom. “Do you know about this?”
Mom shrugged. “Aunt Louise and her friends generally leave me out of it.”
“You still have too many bachelor sons to be properly unbiased,” Louise said, as if this were all perfectly reasonable. “So, tell me about the new girl in town. I saw her coming out of Happy Paws the other day, but I haven’t had the chance to meet her yet.”
“Her name’s Audrey,” I said. “She has a dog.”
Aunt Louise watched me with raised eyebrows. “And?”
“What?”
“Come on, Josiah, don’t be stubborn.”
What did she want me to say? She’s frustratingly sexy? I’m annoyed with myself for thinking about her all the time?
I stood and took my plate to the kitchen. “I barely know her.”
“This is the problem with men. Especially Haven men. Not the best communicators.”
Mom set her tea kettle on the stove with a laugh. “Isn’t that the truth.”
“Hey,” Dad said.
“We both know you speak half-English, half-caveman.” Mom moved closer and gave him a quick kiss. “Fortunately, I speak both.”
He grunted.
Mom shook her head with a soft laugh.
I took advantage of the momentary break in the conversation to head for the front door. Dad seemed fine and Mom and Aunt Louise had plenty of town gossip to keep them busy.
“Bye, honey,” Mom called.
I paused at the door and held my hand up. “Bye.”
Bachelor hierarchy? I shook my head as I walked out to my truck. It figured there would be a bachelor hierarchy in Tilikum.
And I was not going to ask how I compared to any of my brothers. I didn’t even want to know.
Okay, I kind of wanted to know how I rated next to Zachary. But only out of curiosity, not because I was hoping to be the first to graduate off the bachelor list.
I headed home, telling myself once again that just because I was alone, it didn’t mean I was lonely.
And I almost believed my own lie.
CHAPTER 13
Audrey