Josiah was just shutting his truck door. I didn’t miss the flash of surprise that crossed his features when he saw me—eyes widening, his mouth parting.
Then I realized I wasn’t wearing a bra and it was still chilly.
Great.
Oh well, too late now. Besides, after the tub incident, this wasn’t so bad. And I really needed his help.
Still, I tried to casually cross my arms so I wouldn’t be nipping out all over the place.
“I’m sorry to bug you, but I’m so glad you’re here.”
His brow furrowed.
“There’s a dead squirrel outside my front door.”
“What do you mean, there’s a dead squirrel outside your front door?”
“I mean it’s there and it’s dead and I don’t know what to do with it. Max will try to eat it, or roll in it, so I need to get rid of it. And I’m not at all ashamed to say that if I try to do it myself, I’ll probably puke.”
“But why is there a dead squirrel outside your door?”
It was clearly a rhetorical question because without waiting for a reply, he stalked past me and across the grass. He stopped in front of the squirrel and looked down at it, resting his hands on his hips. I followed.
“What the fuck?”
“Yeah, it’s gross. Poor thing. What are the chances it would just keel over and die right here?”
“Almost zero.” He glanced around then picked up a stick and poked at it.
I gagged a little. “What are you doing?”
He crouched down and used the stick to turn it over. “You don’t have a cat, do you?”
“No, just Max. Why?”
“Cats sometimes leave dead things for their owners. Have you seen a cat around?”
“No.”
He kept poking at it and I averted my eyes. I was such a wimp.
Something he’d said bothered me. “What did you mean by that?”
“By what?”
“The chances are almost zero that a squirrel would just die right there.”
He stood. “It didn’t just die. Something, or someone, killed it.”
I winced. “What would have killed a squirrel and left it lying around?”
“I don’t know. Have you ever had this happen before?”
“A dead animal on my doorstep? No, definitely not.”
He grunted.
I swallowed hard to suppress the rush of heat that burst right between my legs when he made that noise. What was that about?
“The guy at the bar last night,” he said. “How long ago did you break up?”
“Colin? Years ago.”
“Is it normal for him to harass you?”
“No. He doesn’t harass me, really, he just—”
“He was harassing you.”
“Okay, he was. But no, it’s not normal. Although after I moved away, I went a long time without seeing him, so I guess if he wanted to harass me, he didn’t have the chance. He was a little weird at my dad’s funeral, but that was two years ago, and it could have been because it was a funeral and everything.”
“Do you always make excuses for people?”
I crossed my arms again, feeling suddenly defensive. “I don’t make excuses for people.”
“You’re doing it right now.”
I was not making excuses for Colin. “Are you asking about him because you think he might have killed a squirrel and left it on my doorstep?”
“The thought did occur to me.”
“That seems – I don’t know, crazy.”
“Yeah, you think?”
I made myself look at the squirrel. “I can’t imagine Colin doing something like that.”
“How well do you actually know him?”
“True, I don’t know him very well now. I don’t know how well I knew him back then, either. Then again, how well can you know a guy in his late teens and early twenties? Their brains are still developing until what, twenty-five?”
“Audrey.”
“Yeah?”
“You’re rambling.”
“Sorry.” I took a deep breath. “I’m just very grossed out by the squirrel corpse and I’m starting to freak out a little bit that someone might have left it there on purpose.”
“Someone being Colin.”
“I guess. It still seems odd for him. What would he be trying to accomplish?”
That seemed to crack a hole in Josiah’s theory.
“I don’t know. If he wants you back, or at least to get in your pants, leaving a dead animal at your door isn’t a smart move.”
“He’s married, he doesn’t want me back. Or in my pants.”
His eyes lifted to meet mine. “He definitely wants to get in your pants.”
“No, he doesn’t. I told you, he’s married. He got married right after we broke up.”
“Sounds healthy.”
“Half the time I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic. You have the ability to deadpan everything.”
“Assume sarcasm.”
“Okay. Then you’re right, it doesn’t seem healthy, but it wasn’t my business anymore. And it still isn’t.”
“Whether or not he did that,” he said, nodding toward the squirrel, “don’t be surprised if he tries to get in your pants.”
I hated the idea that Colin could do that to his wife but I couldn’t shake the feeling that Josiah was probably right. “Well, he’s out of luck there. I wouldn’t even if he wasn’t married, but I’d never, ever sleep with a married man.”
The corner of his mouth lifted, sending a tingle down my spine.
“Who lived here last?” I asked, trying to change the subject. “Maybe they had an enemy who wanted to terrorize them with dead animals. Or they had a cat and it came back, thinking this is home.”
“I’d have to ask Annika.”
“I’ll keep my eye out for a cat. I like that explanation the best.”
He grunted again and took out his phone, then crouched to take a few pictures.
“Gross, why are you taking pictures?”
Ignoring my question, he made a phone call. “Hey. There’s a dead squirrel outside one of my tenant’s houses.” He paused. “No, it’s not roadkill. It’s right outside her front door. Something slashed it open but there’s not a lot of blood on the ground, so it looks like they did it elsewhere and left it here.”
He paused again, listening. I wanted to ask who he was talking to, but he didn’t make eye contact.
“How the hell would I know? I’m asking you because what if someone did it on purpose?” Another pause. “Okay. Bye.”
“Who was that?”
“My brother, Garrett. He’s a cop.”
My eyebrows drew in. “I don’t think this warrants calling the cops.”
“I didn’t call the cops, I called my brother to see what he thinks.”
“And what does he think?”
“That it’s probably just a dead animal a predator left behind and I should get rid of it for you.”
“Okay, then.”
His eyes flicked to my chest and he looked away.
Dang it, I kept forgetting I wasn’t wearing a bra. I crossed my arms and tried to hunch a little so my nips weren’t poking out so much. “Do you mind getting rid of it?”
“I’ll do it.”
“Wait, what are you going to do with it? Because if you fling it into the woods or even bury it, Max will definitely find it and I’ll wind up with a dog covered in rotting squirrel stink.”
He sighed, like I was taking up too much of his time. “I’ll double bag it and put it in the dumpster.”
I glanced at it again, tilting my head. “Should we have a funeral?”
“What?”
“The poor thing deserves better than to wind up in a dumpster with no one to mourn him.”
Josiah looked at me like I’d just suggested we eat it for dinner. “It’s a squirrel.”
“I know but I feel bad. We don’t have to do anything fancy. Just get it in the bag ready to go in the dumpster and let me say a few words before you toss it in.”
He shook his head and went back to the other house. I thought about going inside to put on a bra but then I’d have to deal with Max. He was at the front window watching me, and as soon as I opened the door, he’d go straight for the squirrel.
At least my tank top wasn’t white?
A few minutes later, Josiah came back with a pair of gloves and two plastic garbage bags. I didn’t watch while he picked up the squirrel and bagged it. I didn’t mean to be such a baby, but I had issues with things like blood and guts and dead stuff.
“Got it,” Josiah said. “What do you want me to do now?”
I hated to throw it in the dumpster like garbage, but I hadn’t been kidding when I’d said Max would find it or dig it up. I appeased my guilt by telling myself that if we put it in the dumpster, Max wouldn’t be able to desecrate the body.