“What are you planning on doing with me?”
He lowers himself down onto my bed. I cringe away so no part of me is in danger of coming in contact with him. “If you’d really like to know… I’m planning on waiting until you give birth, gutting your babies in front of Uri, and then killing you right after them.”
Bile rises to my throat at the mere thought. “What kind of man are you?”
He leans in so close that I can smell the stale tuna and strong vodka on his breath. “The kind of man who doesn’t forget a slight. I’m going to make sure Uri Bugrov knows exactly who he’s dealing with.”
“You’re going to kill me? You’re going to kill two defenseless newborn babies in the name of revenge?”
He smiles darkly. “That’s exactly what I plan on doing.”
“You’re a monster.”
He straightens up off the bed and twists around to face me. “Don’t worry: I’ll kill the babies fast. But you…” He moves forward and tries to touch my cheek. I jerk away from him violently and he pulls back with a laugh. “—you, I’m gonna have to go slow. Make sure you’re just on the cusp of death when he finds you.”
“He’ll kill you for this!” I scream at Boris’s back. “He will fucking kill you, you sick bastard!”
Boris just laughs louder. “Oh, he’ll be dead long before he ever gets the chance.”
He slams the door in my face and I’m left lying in place, shaking with fear and panic. “D-don’t worry,” I stammer desperately as my hands drift to my stomach, wrists still raw and burning from where they cuffed me to the gurney. “I’ll keep you safe. I’ll keep you both safe.”
It’s not Ziva that needs me. It’s my children.
But just like before, just like with my sister…
I’m making promises I can’t keep.
55
ALYSSA
Three words wake me up sometime later from that not-quite-sleeping daze I’m living in. “Ready the Pitocin.”
I can’t even fight back because my arms and legs are in restraints once again, lashing me to the bed like I’m a patient in a psych ward.
“What’s that?” I cry out as the black-haired nurse pulls out an injection syringe. “What’s that…? Stop… You can’t do this… please…”
She gives me a cruel smile accompanied by another of those winks that feel even crueler. “This’ll go a lot easier if you stop struggling. Otherwise—” She holds up the big needle and squeezes a little so that a few drops of liquid spurt out. “—it might hurt.”
“No, no, no…” My eyes fly to the asshole doctor I used to trust. “Dr. Grigory, please. Don’t do this! Don’t induce. My babies aren’t ready to come out yet.”
He doesn’t answer. Doesn’t so much as glance my way as he heads for the door. “Let me know when the contractions start,” he mumbles in a barely audible monotone.
The door slams on him. “Stop!” I scream wildly. “You fucking asshole!” The black-haired bitch grabs my arm. “No! No! I won’t let you… get the fuck—ah!”
She punctures one of the veins on my arm with the needle and I can only watch in horror as she depresses the plunger and the liquid drains into my blood. When she pulls out the syringe, a spot of blood appears. Just one tiny spot of red blood, beaded up on the white skin of my arm. It looks so innocent. So feeble.
Then the pain hits.
My spine arches as white-hot heat surges through every nerve ending. I feel like I’m being burned alive from the inside out. All I can do is thrash against my restraints and wail.
The nurse looks on, unmoved.
“Hush now,” she scolds. “It doesn’t hurt that bad.” She starts to leave, but when her wrist passes close to where I can reach, I try to fumble for it.
“Please,” I beg, clutching her clammy fingers desperately. “I can help you. I-if you just help me now, I’ll help you in return.”
She looks amused now, eyebrows arched like I told a funny joke. “Really? And how are you gonna do that?”
“I can get you out of this place, away from these people. You won’t ever be forced to do anything you don’t want to do ever again. I can get you whatever you want. A job, a place to live, a new identity if that’s what you need… anything.”
She purses his lips and kneels down so she’s eye-level with me, her nose ring catching the light. Her clammy fingers are intertwined with my own now and when she starts to speak, it takes me a second to realize that the tenderness in her voice doesn’t match the violence of her words at all. “Sweetheart… when you say you can get me these things, you’re not really talking about yourself, are you?”
I gawk, mouth open, but I can’t respond. Something’s coming. Something’s happening to my body. I feel like my insides are cracking open.
Is that a contraction? Or are they killing me slowly?
“D-does it matter?”
She smirks and grazes my cheek with soft fingers. “I’m afraid it does. Your power comes from a powerful friend in your corner.” Those fingers harden and she starts to squeeze the hell out of my face, smushing it into a grotesque mask. “Well, I already have a powerful friend in my corner. And he wants us to rip you open and take out the two little rats in your belly.” Letting go of my face, she rises up to her full height. From this angle, she looks inhuman. Completely alien and remorseless.
My stomach cramps tight. I scream.
The black-haired nurse casts an eye over to the monitors and smiles thinly. “Won’t be long now,” she says to me. She turns to someone I can’t see and adds, “Tell them that the contractions have started.”
“No! Fuck you, you fucking bitch!”
“Wow,” she remarks, sneering at me. “The girl scout’s got a sailor’s mouth on her. Wonder how long that’ll last when they cut you open.”
“Anjelika!” Grigory’s voice slices through out of nowhere, more forceful than I’ve ever heard it before. “You can go out back. The boss wants to see you.” The nurse shoots me one more scowl before ducking out of the room.
Then the door closes and Grigory turns to me. “Sorry about that. She shouldn’t have been so rough with you.”
“Dr. Grigory,” I plead, still trying to play nice. “Please. I’m begging you. If you take my babies out now, they’ll die.”
He sighs. “We’ve been over this, Alyssa. There’s nothing I can do. If I defy Boris, he’ll kill me; he’ll kill my wife and my kids. I have nothing against you. I don’t want to see you suffer. But if it comes down to my family or yours… I’m choosing mine.”
I brace myself as another contraction rips through my body. I can swear I hear bones cracking, organs defeating. By the time it’s done with me, I have fresh tears in my eyes.
Maybe it’s the pain that makes things clear but suddenly, I’m starting to figure everything out. It’s like all the bullshit fades away in the face of the pain and only the true things are left behind. “You’re the one who helped Boris escape,” I whisper, sweating and shivering. “The day he escaped… you were at the house giving me an exam.”