But in the midst of all those negative emotions is the truth of how I feel.
Which is that I hate to disappoint him. I hate that I’ve let him down by exposing his siblings to danger.
And the only reason I feel that way is because I admire and respect him for the way he takes care of his family. I worry about who’s taking care of him while he’s busy taking care of everyone else. I’m scared that he’s in danger right now and I want more than anything to see him again.
And not just for the child we accidentally made together.
For myself, too.
But since facing that truth feels too hard, too terrifying, too shocking… I fall back on my coping mechanism and cling to denial.
“Do you think he’ll come for us?” Polly asks in a strained voice that’s close to tears.
“Polly, you and I both know that he will move mountains for you. In the short time I’ve known your brother, I know that to be true. You need to believe that.”
“I-I do…” she says softly. “I’m just scared.”
“I know you are. I am, too. But don’t worry,” I assure her, making up my mind right then and there. “I’m here. I’ll protect you.”
“Why would you do that for me?”
For a moment, I’m stumped. It’s not that I don’t have a reason; it’s that I have so many.
It’s because I couldn’t save my own sister.
It’s because life has given me a chance to try again.
It’s because, this time around… I can’t afford to fail.
I won’t.
64
URI
There are two men in the room with Lev, I signal to Nikolai, two more just outside the room and one in the kitchen.
He nods and starts signing back. You take the two in the front and I’ll—
I shake my head hard. Lev will need to see me first. You take the two in the front.
Nikolai stops short. He considers it for a second and then nods. As much as he may loathe it, he knows when to defer to me. Especially where Lev and Polly are concerned.
I send a message to our men. We have twelve soldiers in total, which means taking down these fuckers will be easy enough. I just need to make sure they’re taken by surprise before they can hurt Lev or use him to barter for their lives.
I catch sight of Stepan and Josef in the distance and I signal to them to come towards me. The rest of the men split and move around to the front of the house with Nikolai. I stay just under the window of the room where they’re holding Lev. One of the enemy men is busy popping something crunchy and noisy into his mouth.
“You got any more of those?”
“Nah, just finished ‘em.”
“Greedy li’l bastard.”
“Look at the dumbass. He’s drooling. Guess he’s hungry.”
“You hungry, dumbass?” He dangles a chip in front of Lev’s slumped face.
Never mind. Fuck the plan. Fuck precautions. I’m gonna tear these assholes to pieces.
Before Stepan and Josef have even reached me, I launch up and crash through the window with my gun drawn. One pull of my trigger and the first of the two captors drops dead, orange chip dust still coating his lips. The second one has his hand clasped around his holster but he hasn’t had time to draw his firearm.
I can hear the sounds of yelling, screaming, more gunshots. But for right now, the room I’m in has an eerie quiet about it.
I advance closer to the flat-nosed fuck whose eyes keep darting to his dead friend sprawled on the stained tile just a few feet away.
Lev is rocking back and forth, causing the chair to wobble to and fro. “Lev, brat,” I say gently without taking my eyes off the soon-to-be-dead man. “It’s all going to be okay. Just stay calm. Breathe.”
I step closer. The flat-nosed man is pure terror now. I can smell his sweat, mingling with the stench of his friend’s oozing blood. He doesn’t move as I get closer and closer. Too frozen with fear.
Pathetic.
Makes things easier, though.
I reach out and grab him by the shoulders. “I’ll make this quick for you,” I rumble. “You don’t deserve it, but I’m going to do it anyway. Lev… look away.”
Then I hug the miserable bastard to me and twist his neck.
POP. Bones crack and he slumps to the floor, lifeless before he’s even all the way down.
With that ugly business finished, I wipe my hands on my pants and turn to Lev, kneeling in front of him so I can start to saw away at his restraints with my pocketknife.
He’s not making eye contact. Instead, he’s just muttering unintelligibly to himself as he rocks back and forth.
“Lev. Hey, it’s me. Your brother. It’s Uri.”
The muttering gets louder, the rocking gets faster, and if I so much as graze any part of him, he recoils and whimpers.
I wrack my brain to think of a way to calm him down. What would Alyssa do? It’s infuriating that I would even go there, but it’s my first instinct. What would she do?
She’d probably give him space at first until he was ready to listen to her. I back away a little, satisfied that the restraints aren’t hurting him anymore. He’s got a few cuts and scrapes but otherwise, he seems relatively unharmed. Physically, at least.
What I’m worried about is what’s going on behind his wild eyes.
“Lev. It’s me. Uri. Can you hear me?” The mumbling doesn’t stop. “Lev, you’re safe now. I’ve gotten rid of those bad men. We’re going home.”
“Home?” The rocking slows down.
I scoot a little closer. “Yes, home. You’re safe now.”
“Alyssa?”
I freeze. “What?”
“Alyssa,” he repeats. “I want her.”
Fuck me. I’m about to tell him that he’ll see Alyssa at home, but I stop myself at the last minute. Even assuming she did listen for once, there’s no telling what I’ll do when I see her again. The rage that swims up at the mere thought of her is enough to blind me.
“I know, buddy. I know you do. But for right now, we need to get out of here, okay?”
“I want Alyssa home.”
“I’ll see what I can do, okay?” He’s still shifting every few seconds, but he allows me to slice off the rest of his restraints. “Do you want to take my hand?”
Lev shies away from me. “I want Alyssa.”
I’m losing patience fast and the more I try to control it, the harder it becomes to control. The fact that he keeps asking for the very woman who got him into this mess in the first place isn’t helping matters.
“Lev.” Reluctantly, he turns his sad blue eyes on me. “You trust me, don’t you?” The hesitation is a touch too long for my liking, but in the end, he does nod. “Good. Then take my hand and come with me.”
He does but his hand almost slides right out of mine again because it’s soaked with sweat. I hold onto him tightly and lead him out of the room with my gun at the ready.
Outside, the coast is clear. Nikolai and my men are clustered in the living room. I note a pile of dead enemies in the corner and one last live one quivering on his knees in front of Nikolai.