I ignore that, just like I’m ignoring all the other inconvenient truths in my life right now.
“We’re going to the Black Rose.”
Nikolai’s eyes go wide. “Are you kidding?”
“Does it look like I’m kidding?”
“We mounted an attack on that place only weeks ago. It’s nothing anymore.”
“Which means it’s going to be filled with only Sobakin’s people. There’s going to be someone in there who can give us a lead. And maybe we can use that to get our brother back.”
“Uri. Uri.” He follows me out the door but I’m not about to hang around just to listen to him punch holes in my plan. I keep moving until I’ve burst out of the house. “For fuck’s sake, man, slow down!”
I swing around so fast that he nearly collides with me. “I’m doing this, Nikolai. Lev isn’t used to being out there at all, let alone without me, without someone he can trust. These men, if they do to him what they did to Igor…” I trail off, losing myself in a black hole of negative thoughts. “I’ll never forgive myself.”
“This is not your doing.”
“I am his guardian. I bear responsibility for him. Whatever happens to him is my fault. Now—are you with me or not?”
Nikolai takes a deep breath and nods firmly. “Let’s go.”
We’re halfway to the club when I get a call on the car phone. I accept it and Stepan’s voice rings through, loud and clear.
“Boss, my source just got back to me about the abduction.”
“And?”
“Boris Sobakin is not behind it.”
I must’ve heard him wrong. There’s no way. Judging from the look on Nikolai’s face, however, I didn’t. I swerve around the corner and park the car on the curb.
“What do you mean?”
“My source is legit, boss. Whoever abducted Lev… it’s not Sobakin.”
I frown. “I can’t take the risk that that’s not true.”
“Barging our way into the Black Rose without all the information is probably not the best idea, brother,” Nikolai offers in a measured voice.
My head is racing. “Wait… is it possible that the men who’ve been watching Alyssa’s house are a different enemy altogether?” Nikolai looks skeptical, but my thoughts are moving too fast for me to stop and ask him for his opinion. I turn back to the phone. “You said a bunch of personal items were taken from the house. A laptop?”
“Yes.”
I nod. “I have her cell phone. Maybe there’s a way to track the laptop from the phone.” Nikolai’s eyes go wide and I take that as a good sign. “If we can track it, we might be able to find Lev.”
It’s a long shot, but it’s the only one we have.
We have to find my brother.
60
ALYSSA
I’m crying too hard to worry about breathing. The only thing keeping me tethered to reality is my Z charm, but the more I tug on that, the more I wonder if the link is just gonna give up and shatter one day. If there were ever a day for that to happen, it’d be this one.
But I can’t stop touching it. I can’t stop moving. I can’t stop crying. If I don’t do any of those things, I feel as though I’ll go insane.
Honestly, it might go that way regardless.
All the what ifs keep running through my head and no matter how much I try, I can’t stop them from taking over my consciousness.
What if I made Lev go back sooner?
What if I’d never tried to leave in the first place?
Now that he’s been taken, my escape feels selfish, thoughtless. Just plain stupid. I put my needs above his and this is the result.
Guilt. Pain. Fear.
I’m not going to be able to calm down until I try to make things right. Which is a tall ask when you’re trapped in a soundproof basement with no one around.
All my links to the outside world are gone too. Uri took away the Xbox and…
Wait. My tablet!
I’ve been so in my own head, I forgot that I can use the tablet to maybe contact someone. Or perhaps even track my laptop. I hadn’t seen it in my destroyed house and if my ransackers took it, it’s possible the tablet could tell me exactly where my laptop is. Which could be exactly where Lev is.
Maybe.
Hopefully.
My heart is thudding hard as I rush to the bed where I discarded my backpack after being pushed into the basement by a furious Uri.
Every time I blink, I see that heartless scowl staining every beautiful moment we’ve shared together. Will he ever forgive me?
That look in his eyes said no.
I try to turn the tablet on, only to realize it’s dead now. I didn’t bother looking for the charger back at the house, which means I have no way of using it.
“Come on, come on,” I mutter as I start combing the basement looking for a charger I might be able to rig up.
Half an hour later, I come up blank, my hopes deflated, my chest rising and falling painfully with the disappointment of it all.
“Ahhh!” I scream wildly toward the ceiling. “Uri! Please, let me out of here!”
I know he can’t hear me. No one can. No one who cares, at least. But I scream anyway because at the very least, it’s something to do.
And then—
Click.
I rush to the door, unsure of who I’m gonna be faced with. Then I see her dark ginger hair and those startling hazel eyes. “Polly!”
Her eyes are swollen and her cheeks are blotchy but there’s a determined slant in the set of her jaw that I resonate with.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t come earlier,” she explains. “I had to make sure my brothers were gone.”
“Do they know where Lev might be?”
“I don’t know. They weren’t super eager to share with me, as you might imagine.”
“I’m sorry, Polly. This is all my—”
“We don’t have time for that now,” she interrupts. “We need to find my brother.” I can tell she’s been on the same emotional rollercoaster as me in the last hour. “I heard some of Uri’s men talking earlier. Apparently, your laptop is missing from the house.”
I clutch her hopefully “Yes! But they left behind my tablet. If we can charge it—”
Polly’s eyes go wide as she finishes, “… then maybe we can maybe track it.” She nods, all action immediately. “Charger. Got it. I’ll be right back.”
She disappears upstairs and a few minutes later, returns with a charger in hand. We plug it in and then both of us huddle over it. I catch sight of our reflection in the black glass and look away immediately. I want to feel hopeful—but the look in my face says I’m already fearing the worst.
“Now, we wait.” The seconds move slower than they ever have. Every sound is overpowered by my stampeding heart. I can’t deal with long silences, so I break it with the other thing that’s been circulating in my brain since Lev was taken. “Can I apologize to you now?”
Polly sighs. “We had the best intentions. It went wrong. You’re not to blame, Alyssa.”
“Neither are you.”
“I know that. But it doesn’t matter. I should have protected him.” She tilts her head to the side and looks at me curiously. “You really care about him, don’t you?”