Alyssa just shakes her head in quiet disgust. “There it is,” she says again. “There it fucking is.”
“Just because you may know details of my life and my family does not mean you know me,” I snarl. “Don’t make the mistake of assuming you mean more to me than you do. But I suppose that’s typical of you.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Ziva told you what she wanted, what she needed, and you refused to listen to her.” Her eyes go wide. Even as the words leave my mouth, I’m aware of what a colossal fucking asshole I’m being. And yet, I still can’t stop myself. “Apparently, denial is your defining characteristic.”
Her eyes go wide and I can see the tears standing there, ready to fall. “You… you bastard.” There’s a foot of space between us but it may as well be a mile-long road through hell. “Get out. Leave me the fuck alone.”
It’s what I wanted, wasn’t it? A reason to walk away without crossing the line yet again. I got exactly what I asked for.
But no victory has ever felt more hollow.
51
ALYSSA
“I brought you something.”
Lev opens his fist to reveal a single purple flower from the garden. Except the petals have wilted from the heat of his palm and the stem has snapped. He stares at the flower, his mouth dropping open with frustration.
“I… I killed it.”
“No, no, it’s okay, Lev.”
That familiar rocking starts up again. “I k-killed it. I killed it. I killed it. I—”
“Lev.” My tone is sharp enough to get his attention. I reach out and take the flower from his palm. “I love it. Thank you.”
He looks unsure. “It’s dead.”
“It’s still beautiful. Did you know that purple has always been one of my favorite colors?”
The rocking slows down. “Really?”
“Oh, yeah. Always. How did you know that?”
He smiles shyly. “I guessed.”
“Smart guy.” I give him a wink. “Lev, can I ask you a huge favor?”
I spent the entire night thinking this over. Am I really going to use Lev to get me out of here? I kept hitting the same roadblock over and over again—namely, my conscience. It just felt so wrong to take advantage of Lev that way.
But I can’t stay here much longer. The basement, I can deal with. The lack of sunlight, I can learn to live without. Even the limited number of activities is something I can force myself to adjust to.
But Uri? He’s the one thing I can no longer be near.
So as much as I hate myself for it, it’s Lev or nothing.
The door opens suddenly and the both of us cringe back. The voice that comes through is soft and feminine and completely new to me. A head appears around the door frame—short brown hair in a straight bob and large hazel eyes flecked with little spots of brown.
Just like her mama’s.
“You must be Polly.”
She enters the basement, her eyes moving from Lev to me. “Who are you?” she asks tentatively.
There are little hints of Uri in her face. The sharp cheekbones, the straight line of her nose. But there’s a softness in her features that Uri has never had.
“I’m Alyssa,” I say, offering her my hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Lev looks frantic. His breathing is coming in short, sharp spurts, and he’s chewing at the inside of his cheek hard enough to ripple the texture of his jaw.
I’m forced to turn away from Polly. “Lev, hey—everything’s okay. Just breathe like I told you, remember?”
“Uri will be mad… Uri will be—”
“You let me deal with your brother,” I say firmly.
He glances at me curiously. “You’ll protect me?”
“Always.” The moment I say it, I regret it. I don’t plan on being here long enough to be a source of protection for Lev. As much as I care about him, I can’t be a part of his life long-term.
“Why don’t you go play some video games?” I suggest. “I’ll come over in a bit.”
He gives his sister a wary glance and heads over to his special spot on the carpet. The moment his headphones are on, I turn to Polly. Whatever I’m about to say shrivels on my tongue when I see the awestruck look on her face.
“How did you do that?” she whispers.
“Do… what?” I ask, glancing back over my shoulder.
“You just stopped a meltdown in its tracks. You got him to listen to you. He never does anything I tell him to. Hell, I’m lucky if he so much as looks my way some days.”
“I just… I don’t know. I guess I bonded with him.”
Her expression ripples but she catches herself before her face falls completely. “So I guess everyone’s better with him than I am.” She eyes me cautiously. “Including the random stranger who’s squatting in the basement.”
I give her a sheepish smile. “I got lucky.”
“Now, the random stranger is trying to comfort me. This day just keeps getting better and better.” She sighs deeply. “So this is why Lev has been sleeping with Uri?”
My eyebrows shoot up. “Lev sleeps with Uri?”
“Well, he has his own room upstairs if he wants it, but Lev has nightmares. So yeah, Uri tends to sleep with him most days.”
I wish I hadn’t heard that. I’d prefer to just stay on the whole he’s an asshole train. Anything else is too dangerous.
“Seriously, who are you?”
I sigh. “My name is Alyssa. I live next door.”
“But you sleep in my brother’s basement?”
“I don’t really have much of a choice.”
Polly’s eyes go wide with horror. “Oh my God, is he keeping you down here? Are you his prisoner?”
She looks genuinely upset by the thought. Which is why I hold up my hands and shake my head. Even though I’ve thrown that word around plenty myself. “I’m not… That’s not what…
It’s complicated.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Listen, I know that’s grownup speak for none of your business but I’m not a baby. I can handle the truth even if it fucking sucks.”
I glance towards Lev, but thankfully, those headphones of his are doing the job. “I opened the wrong package,” I blurt out.
“What?”
Sighing, I gesture for her to follow me into the kitchen, where I pour myself a strong cup of coffee. “Can I get you anything?”
“You got any Oreos?”
I pass her the bag and a carton of milk. Then we sit opposite each other and I grab an Oreo, too. “I mistook your brother’s package for mine and I made the mistake of opening it.”
She cringes. “What was inside?”
“Nothing good. Anyway, once your brother figured out I’d opened it, he brought me down here for my own protection. That was weeks ago.”
“Weeks?” she shrieks.
“He let me out at one point, but I was forced back down here on the weekends. Up until a week ago at least.”
Polly pales. “Oh, God, I think that’s my fault. I come back on the weekends. And now, I’m on summer vacation.”