“When you’ve got her, you’ll feel a tingle run down your spine,” Perth goes on, his own breaths slightly labored. “I want you to picture the power inside of you expanding, running from your chest out to your limbs, filling you up until it’s all you can feel.”
I close my eyes, searching through the pieces of me I’ve never wanted to look at too closely. Pieces I worried were the wild, unhinged parts of myself. The broken bits—the ones I always thought made me too sharp, too jagged, too easy to send packing to home after home because others could see the shattered ruins too. All those scraps I now realize aren’t broken tatters. They’re eerie threads. Shifter magic. Power that’s waiting to be woven together so I can become more.
The wind gusts across my face just as I feel it.
Feel her.
“Noah, we’re going to shift. We’re going to run together. I’m going to chase you.” His fingers curl lightly against the bare skin of my back at that last little promise. And somehow, the idea of a chase sends a euphoric little tickle across my skin.
“Let her out. You can do this,” he coaxes, and I feel his encouragement bolster me.
I force everything around me to fall away. Focusing only on this hidden, burgeoning piece of me that’s all too eager for acknowledgement. I’m startled to discover that it doesn’t feel like some foreign, wild invasion of who I am, but more a vital component I’ve always been missing.
A key.
She’s cold when I reach for her. Not in a frigid, painful sort of way, but in a relieving one. She’s cool, lapping waves under a blazing sun. She’s the tranquil mist that rises from a thunderous waterfall. She’s pure magic in every sense of the word.
I open myself up, making space for all the slivers of power inside me to finally fit together with a loud and resounding click.
My lids flash open, and Perth’s intense gaze is locked on me. His smile is proud, as though he too heard all my pieces fall into place. I look down to find black veins crawling up my arms and down my hands. They thrum with each heartbeat and I find myself staring down at them in fascination instead of fear. With a wide grin, I look up at Perth and fully give myself over to the wolf.
“You’ve got this,” he encourages.
And then I break.
Perth catches me before I can hit the ground, pulling me into his lap. Maple leaves crunch beneath him as he sits on the ground, holding me tight in his arms as pain ricochets through me like a wrecking ball that’s determined to leave nothing of the old me standing. I scream as the straight bones of my legs shatter and start to reform beneath me. I can feel each jagged bit moving underneath my skin, and it’s as though I’m being stabbed from the inside out.
Flocks of birds flee the trees around us, squawking their alarm as they escape from my cries.
I fold in on myself, my bones and muscles contorting and splitting in unfathomable ways. Icy cold seeps around each fracturing burst of agony until I’m so chilled I could probably create icicles with a mere touch. Agony explodes through me like fireworks and, just when I think I can’t take anymore, Perth’s determined tone pulls me from the wreckage of my mind and body.
“It will be over soon, Noah. This is your wolf forging the pathways she needs to shift at will. This will be the only time it feels like this. I promise it will be worth it. You’re doing amazing.” Perth does his best to console me.
I clutch onto his promises, letting them buoy me against the tide of overwhelming sensation that wants to tug me under.
A large, calloused hand brushes my hair back from my face, and I can feel Perth slowly set me down against the hard ground and back away. “It won’t be long now; I can sense your magic building.”
I whimper at the loss of him. Glacial agony finally consumes me, a heavy sheet of solid cold sliding over me, and then it all just…stops.
I lie against the frost-brushed ground, breathing heavily, my limbs and body tingling in a strange, unfamiliar way. All my bits and pieces are there, but not where they should be. My mouth and nose are wrong, my teeth sharp, my ears dislocated. The small whine that slinks out of me confirms it.
I’m a fucking wolf.
A big one, from the feel of it.
I open my eyes and it takes a moment for my vision to focus.
Whoa, I muse, thunderstruck by the changes.
Everything is sharper, clearer, easier to process on a massive scale. Movement immediately catches my attention, and I hone in on a massive red and gray wolf. My size is formidable, but Perth’s wolf is enormous.
I recognize him easily from the night of the hunt. He was the first one into the fray. The wolf that stopped the other den from getting to me first. I marvel at him, observing his size, the patches of rusty red against creams and grays. His eyes are a brighter wolfy version of the amber Perth has when he’s in his skin form. He’s nothing short of magnificent.
The big wolf chuffs as though he appreciates my inspection of him, and then, from across the clearing, Perth’s delicious voice sounds in my mind clear as day.
“Hey, beautiful, wanna run?”
27
NOAH
My heart is a prism of awe, fractals of happiness sparkling all around me in every shade. There’s a deep blue sense of satisfaction as my paws hit the earth, claws digging in for purchase before I powerfully push off, gaining speed as I go. Red gleams of riotous energy streak through me as I fly through the forest like a soundless wraith. Bright, dancing yellow bliss bridles me, keeping me from floating away on a wisp of pure joy.
Ruger was right. Running is the fucking best.
Tree trunks rush past in a blur as I zig and zag around obstacles. The wind gently combs through my fur, and I find my tongue suddenly flapping out of the side of my mouth like a pennant.
Hell yeah!
I’m so capable, coordinated in a way I shouldn’t be. It’s like I’ve lived in this body my whole life instead of mere hours.
The adjustment from two legs to four was faster and more effortless than I would have ever thought. I’d pictured myself going full Bambion-ice as I got the hang of having a wolf body and all the fur, muscles, and fangs that come with it. But after the initial shock of discovering my chocolaty brown coat and getting a feel for paws instead of hands and feet, it all came so naturally.
It was always meant to be.
I’m free now, complete in a way I never knew I needed, and blazing through the woods as we take turns chasing and being chased. Perth explained it’s the best way to explore all my new senses and hone my natural instincts. Plus, it’s just fun.
A wild laugh erupts inside of me and morphs into a joyful howl on my lips. Perth howls back as he follows me, easily keeping pace. The sound hits my newly sensitized ears, and I can decipher all sorts of meanings just from his tone. He’s saying he’s happy. He’s proud. He’s excited.