I handed the phone back to Nate, who lifted it to his ear. “I found a flight for her for tomorrow night.” He locked eyes with me. “I will personally throw her over my shoulder and strap her into the seat myself.”
My eyes narrowed at him.
He flashed a dimple.
Ugh.
“Serena, don’t get yourself killed. Izzy would never recover from the guilt of you not putting your ass on the helicopter when you had the chance.” He ended the call and handed the handset back to Gray.
“Thank you,” I said to Nate. “Whatever you did. Thank you.” It didn’t even come close to what he deserved to hear, but it was all I could get out.
He nodded once. “I meant what I said. I will strap you onto that flight myself tomorrow night.”
Which meant I only had twenty-four hours left with him.
I rolled over and stared at the clock just like I had every hour since I’d come to bed a little after midnight. Once the State Department had gone home for the day, there was no point continuing to call and follow up on visas, but in a few hours I could be useful helping with the interviews until Nate decided it was time to leave for the airport.
Four a.m. meant he was probably just waking up.
I flopped to my back and stared up at the ceiling, letting my thoughts run haywire.
Nate thought I’d turned his proposal down because I didn’t love him, and then he’d taped my engagement ring to a dog tag and carried it with him everywhere. What was I supposed to do with that?
Staying here, wasting the only hours I might have with him, wasn’t going to get me—or us—anywhere.
My heart pounded as I swung my feet over the side of the bed and then walked into the living room of my suite, turning on the lamp with the switch as moonlight poured in through the windows.
I turned near the kitchen area and folded my arms across my tank top as I stared at the ring. It was perfect. Simple. Exactly what I would have picked out if I’d been at the jewelry store with him. And he’d bought it after Fiji. After I’d resigned myself to living for the moments I had with him. He’d seen a future for us.
It took me three attempts before I actually managed to pick it up. It was slightly sticky from the tape’s residue, and all the more perfect for it. My heart hurt at the life it represented, the life we could have had.
I grabbed my key and walked out of my room before I could think twice and then stop myself.
Sergeant Rose blinked at me from where he stood next to Nate’s door. “Everything okay, Ms. Astor?”
Well. Shit. It wasn’t like I could storm across the hall and knock on Nate’s door now.
“You’re on babysitting duty.” I wrapped my arms across my chest, more than a little self-conscious that I didn’t exactly sleep in a bra.
“I’m on guard, yes.” He smothered a smile behind his beard.
“Right. So I’m just going to . . .” Go back into my room and pretend this never happened.
“You know what?” he said, whipping out a room key from his front pocket. “I’m in the mood to stir a little shit this morning. Why not.” He shrugged and tapped the key against Nate’s lock.
The light above the handle turned green, and I didn’t hesitate. “Thank you.” Flashing him a smile, I grabbed the door handle, turning it quickly so it didn’t lock again.
“Just don’t tell him it was me.”
I nodded and opened Nate’s door, stepping inside and closing it behind me before I lost the nerve. Light poured out of the bathroom, and I heard the shower running, but the rest of the room was dark.
“Nate?” I called out softly, not wanting to startle him, seeing how well that had gone last time I’d made that mistake, but he obviously couldn’t hear me over the sound of the water running.
My lips parted. He was in there. Naked. Heat rushed through me, and I used my key card to fan myself before putting it on his dresser when the shower finally stopped. But I held on to the ring like it was the key to breaking through to him.
I was still wholeheartedly in love with him, and this was worth the fight.
“Nate?” I said gently, standing between his bed and the desk.
“Izzy?” I heard the sound of fabric rustling, and he walked out of the bathroom in a towel.
A towel.
A singular, lonely towel wrapped around his lean waist. He hadn’t even dried off. Nope, there were still water droplets sliding down the same lines of his body that I had traced with my tongue. Like that one, right there . . . the one that slipped down his pec, gathering other drops, and then falling into the canyons of his abs before finding its way to the fuck-me lines that carved the deep V—
“Izzy.”
My gaze snapped upward to Nate’s face, and damn if my entire body didn’t flush. “Hi.”
His brows rose. “Hi? It’s—” He glanced at his clock. “Four in the morning and you just popped by to say hi? The girl who sleeps until ten if she can?”
“You’re in a towel.” Was that really the best I could come up with?
“I was in the shower. That’s a natural progression of events. Shower. Towel. Clothes. And how the hell did you even get—” He sighed. “Never mind, I already know who let you in.”
“Don’t be mad.” The ring bit into my palm, but I kept my fist closed.
“I’m not mad. Confused, but not mad.”
“I couldn’t sleep. Not when I know I only have a few hours left with you.” The last bit tumbled out.
His expression went blank. He was retreating behind those mile-high walls where I wouldn’t be able to reach him, and I couldn’t let that happen. Not tonight.
“I thought you were proposing out of shock,” I blurted with as much grace as I’d had the day we met. Good to see we’re growing over here.
“We don’t have to do this.”
“We do.” I closed the distance between us but didn’t reach for him. “I was still reeling from you no-showing Palau, and my parents were there, being all . . . parental for once, and then you showed up, clearly distraught over losing your friend, asking me to choose if you were going to stay in the military or not, and you weren’t . . . you. Your words ran together, your eyes were wild, and you just kept telling me that you needed me to choose what you were supposed to do, despite every argument I threw at you to show that you weren’t acting like yourself. And looking back, I didn’t have my head on straight, either, but Nate, I didn’t think it was real.”
“I got down on one knee,” he whispered.
“Trust me, I remember.” I took that last step and cupped his bearded cheek with my free hand. “All I could think was that this was everything I’d ever wanted, and yet, if I’d said yes, I would have been taking advantage of you at your worst moment. You would have woken up and regretted asking.”
“You chose your parents.”
“I didn’t.” I shook my head. “Sure, I used Dad’s connections to get into Lauren’s office, but it was only to help that legislation that never passed anyway. Serena told you the truth. I didn’t go to DC for my parents. I went for you.”
His brow furrowed slightly, just enough to tell me I was getting through.