I’ve been this crew’s captain for years. I’ve guided them through good times and bad, and I’ve always—always—put the laws of the C?n Annwn first. I have curbed their excesses and ensured they lived lives worthy of the name they bear. I have been fair and, if I’m unbending, it’s all for the cause. And it still wasn’t enough.
“What are you doing here?” I sound bitter and angry, but there’s no helping it. I am bitter and angry. “Why haven’t you sailed off to indulge in your every excess? That’s what Miles promised them, isn’t it? To let them take what they think they deserve instead of reminding them that we serve.”
“I’ve had my years of excess already. At my age, it all sounds like too much work.” Dia pushes off the tree and heads for the town. “Besides, that ship doesn’t feel like home with Miles at the helm. I expect a few people will jump crews within the next turning of the moon. Hard to say.”
My entire life is crumbling around me. I’m teetering on the edge of absolute ruin and there isn’t a damn thing I can do to stop it. Ever since I came to Threshold, emerging from the sea and into my new life, my entire identity has been wrapped up in the Crimson Hag. Starting as a cabin boy. Learning how to sail, how to navigate, how to lead, from Ezra, until I worked my way up to be quartermaster. I served in that position for years before his death and the vote that made me captain. “What the fuck do I do now?”
She sighs. “You’ll figure it out, boy. This time of year, it’ll be a week or two before a ship comes through that can ferry us back to Lyari, so might as well take the time to do some soul searching. You’ll be starting from the bottom on the next ship, just like you did on the Hag.” Then she’s gone, melting into the trees as if she was born to it instead of the waves.
A pit opens up inside me and threatens to suck me under. Start at the bottom. New ship. New crew. New captain. And who will take me on? Over the years, I’ve butted heads with more than a few captains, and I never bothered to keep my disapproval hidden, not when so many of them have fluid interpretations of what the laws mean. If I go back to Lyari, I might be able to find a position in the city, serving the Council …
But to spend all my time on dry land? To twist myself into knots playing at politics when there are people in need of saving? People I can actually help, instead of arguing circles just for the sake of power?
The thought of that being my future makes something inside me threaten to shrivel and die. “I just lost everything.”
“I’m sorry.”
I turn to Evelyn. It’s so tempting to blame her for this, but if her presence brought my problems to a head, they started well before her arrival. I’ve made my own choices. I can’t blame her for my actions. If I’d let the waves take her, maybe I would have stayed captain for another few months, a year even, but Miles was always going to make his move. Evelyn only expedited it. With every decision since meeting her, I’ve stood at a crossroads of law and heart. Every time, I’ve chosen heart.
I am in a mess of my own making. It doesn’t improve my mood to acknowledge that. “Let’s go. We’ll have to rent a room for the time being.” I pause, studying her guileless expression. “This doesn’t change your situation, Evelyn. If you flee, they will hunt you.”
“What’s the difference between you being stranded here and me being stranded … elsewhere?”
I give her the look that question deserves. “You know damn well the difference. Getting voted out of captaincy isn’t a crime. Reneging on your vows is. I am required to join up with the next crew we happen across, at least long enough to return to Lyari. If I choose not to stay with that crew, I’ll have to stay in the capital until I find a crew—or a job for the Council. Those are the only options. Not settling down on one of the other islands. Certainly not jumping through a portal to another realm. You have the same choices.”
“Seems like semantics to me.” But she falls into step beside me. “But I would kill for a good night’s sleep and a meal, so I’m not going to argue with you here. Maybe later. We’ll see what the night brings us.”
What it brings us is to the little inn nestled just off the road near the entrance of town. With darkness falling, the crowd down the main street has mostly dispersed, though there’s music and loud laughter coming from two separate bars. I stop and stare at the warm light shining through the windows. The people there seem happy.
As if this once-in-a-generation event really is something to be celebrated, rather than feared. I can barely wrap my mind around me.
The inn is run by a person with pale skin, dark hair, and a truly impressive mustache. They start shaking their head the moment I tell them what we need. “I’m sorry, but there’s only one room available. You might try your luck with another inn, but to be honest, I’m surprised we have any rooms left at all. I’m certain the other establishments don’t.”
Frustration threatens to drown me. This is one stumbling block too many. The pottery on the shelves rumbles as my power slips the tight leash I keep it on. Evelyn puts her hand on my arm, and despite everything, that allows me to get a handle on myself. She smiles at the innkeeper. “That will be fine. Could we get a bath and a meal?”
“Of course.” They eye me nervously. As if I’m the monster they fear. “The room has an inset hot spring and we have an agreement with the bar next door to have them bring over meals for our current guests. It’s all part of the price.”
Evelyn squeezes my arm. “Perfect. My friend has had a hard day, but we’re grateful for the service.”
“O-of course.” They slide a key across the counter and snatch their hand back as if they’re worried I’ll throttle them.
The worst part is that I’m not sure if it’s because of my display of anger or the crimson coat I’m wearing. I wasn’t displaying any power at all when we walked through the crowd earlier. Evelyn might not think I noticed how people skittered out of our path, but it was impossible to ignore. Their fear rankled. It always rankles.
Evelyn leads me back to a surprisingly large room, complete with a decent-sized bed and the promised pool of steaming water. It’s a nice space, but I’m not in the mood to appreciate it. She moves around the room, touching things and humming a little to herself. Even the sight of her isn’t enough to chase away the horrible feeling rotting away inside me. My entire life, everything I’ve worked and fought for and believed in … It feels like it’s teetering on the edge of a massive wave. One wrong move will suck me under and I might never surface again. “Don’t steal anything.”
She gives me a sharp look. “I don’t steal from normal people just trying to keep their business afloat. That’s evil.”
“You steal from me.”