“And this just takes me accepting my dragon?” I ask, my voice hoarse. I don’t know where to even begin.
Rose gives me an understanding smile as if she understands my conundrum. “To start, it will be you working not to suppress your dragon. It would help the process if you spend time in your original form—”
“I can’t,” I cut in. “I can’t leave Katarina while she’s vulnerable.”
“That makes sense.” Rose nods but doesn’t look pleased. “We can set up appointments where I act as a guide and… hurry the process along like I just did. It would take some time to untangle your being, especially if shifting isn’t an option, but it won’t always be as painful. It all depends on what you want in the end.”
“Thank you,” I say, my eyes on her hands while my thoughts brew. It should be a simple thing to agree to. I want Katarina as my mate, and through this process it will become possible, but there are other effects that will come from becoming “aligned” with my dragon.
The last time we were one, my dragon burned down the countryside in anger and loss. Should a being like that really be accepted in our daily lives?
“Now stop touching my mate and go back to your own,” the kraken grumbles. Rose narrows her eyes at him, but drops my hands all the same.
“You can call me when you decide what you want to do,” Rose says.
I swallow and nod. Gideon comes up behind his mate as if he can’t wait for me to be out of the room before touching her again.
I turn to leave, not needing the sight of the happy couple to stir even more conflicting thoughts in my mind, but stop when he calls out to me.
“Dragon.”
I turn back.
The kraken’s face is stern. “It’s worth it.”
I bite down on the reaction to tell him that he doesn’t know my pain, what I’ve lost, because that doesn’t matter. This is one immortal speaking to another. He has what I want. A mate carrying his young.
To him, any pain, or destruction, is worth that.
What’s more, Katarina deserves to have a mate that is connected to her very soul, who can offer her forever.
She’s stolen a portion of my heart, and I ache to gift her the rest of it.
31
KATARINA
I’VE GOT a couple of bites left of my peanut butter toast when Kalos enters the kitchen.
“Good morning—” he cuts off his greeting and lasers in on my food. “What are you eating?”
Maggie hides her smile behind her book. We’ve already talked about this craving, and the conversation ended with a puzzled shrug from her.
I pull my breakfast closer to me. “Toast.”
He sniffs the air with a frown. “With cayenne pepper on top?”
I shrug. “It doesn’t really change the flavor, just the heat profile.”
And each bite causes a spark of delight that has me doing an excited shimmy. He should be glad it isn’t something like pickles and ice cream.
“Aren’t you supposed to be working?” I ask to distract him. Work is how he’s gotten out of the talk we were supposed to have after our intense night at the bathhouse.
I’d been nervous that he was avoiding me, avoiding the difficult topic, but the first night I woke to him carrying me from my bed to his eased a lot of those worries.
His actions speak louder than words. He wants me to stay.
He just needs time, and as long as there are no more growth spurts from our daughter, we have at least three months left to figure things out.
That thought causes excitement and trepidation to zing through my limbs. I don’t know if I’m ready to be a parent yet, but our little girl is impatient to light the world on fire if the number of kicks she gives me is any indication.
“I have a surprise for you,” he says, moving on from the toast with a playful glimmer in his eyes.
“Is it showing me the caverns like you said you would?” I tease while my mind works at trying to guess what this surprise could possibly be. Most of the surprises in my life have been by accident, stumbling on Kalos in his heat, the baby.
I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone plan something for me.
Kalos frowns. “No, but you’re right. I’ll need to take you down there. I don’t know if today is a good time to do that. I have a meeting, and I don’t know what other things will crop up from it.”
He rubs his hand over his chest.
“So it has been work,” I murmur, but Kalos catches the words and his sly smile does nothing to clue me in on his secrets.
“Not completely, but you’ll see.”
With my curiosity sufficiently piqued, I slide off the stool while finishing my toast. Kalos takes my hand.
“What has been keeping you so busy at work?” I ask. I miss our nightly cuddles. Griffin is a fantastic cuddle buddy, but even my amazing cat can’t take Kalos’s place. A thought that makes the option of Kalos pulling away from me hurt more… but I won’t let him do that quietly.
I believe in the relationship we could have and won’t go down without a fight.
The time I’m giving him to sort himself out is just a pause.
“We’ve initiated the transfer of powers to our new inner circle,” Kalos says, leading me up the stairs and down a hallway I’ve never gone before. “It’s been an exercise in patience and training each person in what they are responsible for now.”
“Did you manage it all yourself beforehand?”
“Yes and no. Ben has always helped, and each of the people promoted handled a portion of what they are in charge of now. This just makes their authority official.”
We stop at a door that looks like all the others. This room is probably right over his office on the lower level.
He turns toward me, and for the first time looks a little unsure.
“I think you should close your eyes,” he says.
“Oh, you think so, do you?” My lips twitch at his uncharacteristic nerves.
Kalos narrows his eyes. “Yes. Close your eyes, little queen.”
A shiver runs up my spine at the dominance in his tone, and his expression heats in response. He takes a step forward and I expect him to release his hunger for me, but he stops.
“Close. Your. Eyes.” There’s no room to argue in his words, and I pout before following the order.
The door opens with a click, and Kalos guides me into the room with a hand on my back, teasingly lowering it to pinch my ass when he has me where he wants me. “Open them.”
I blink them open, and the first thing I register is the light. The room is bright with cool light from the wide windows. The view of the forest and city beyond that is stunning.
The next thing I notice is the easel. It’s a durable build of light wood, and on it sits a canvas.