This thief has stolen my peace of mind, among other things I didn’t know still existed in my craven soul, and I need to make sure it’s a neat job for her. No loose ends that will leave our lives unraveling in distress.
To that end, I must meet with the soul witch that runs this place.
It’s quick work to dry myself off and redress. I take the key with me, locking the wards behind me as I go. The security of the bathhouse is impressive.
I turn toward the lobby but pause. The light scent of citrus that signals the matchmaker leads me in the other direction. I follow it down the low-lit hallway before coming to an open doorway. A man’s voice rumbles under a soft feminine laugh.
I enter and clear my throat at the sight of the redheaded witch I seek in the arms of a dark-haired man.
The man’s aura strikes a familiar note.
“Gideon,” I greet him. We don’t know each other well, but immortals are few in this modern age. I spare a glance at the matchmaker’s pregnant stomach and tuck the detail away. I’d assumed that krakens didn’t breed, but I’m obviously mistaken.
Rose pushes away from the kraken, but he doesn’t release her immediately.
“Kalos. What do you want?” he asks, narrowing his eyes at me.
“He needs to speak with me,” Rose says, poking his chest. I don’t question how she knows that. The glance she’d given me earlier tonight made it clear that she senses my issue.
“Your mate can stay,” I say. I prefer if he didn’t. I enjoy my privacy, but if the roles were reversed, there’s no way that I’d leave my pregnant mate in the presence of a powerful immortal.
I’m here asking for help. It does me no favors to make demands to shield my weaknesses.
“I hear that you work with soul threads,” I say.
Rose nods and pushes away from Gideon again. This time he lets her go and takes a place leaning against the wall. I ignore his watchful stare while his mate rounds the table heading to the cabinets.
“I do work with soul threads. Tea?” she asks.
“No thank you,” I force out, swallowing the discomfort down. Tea from a witch like Rose Love means talking and comfort… it means bad news.
Rose’s shoulders drop, and she turns back toward me. “Right to it, I guess.”
“I would prefer that.”
Rose approaches me, halting two steps away at the sound of disagreement from her mate’s throat. She rolls her eyes.
“Touching him will let me see everything, Gideon,” she says.
Gideon’s jaw clenches as I stiffen. I don’t want to be touched by another woman. She clocks my reaction.
“Just your hands if you will?”
I hesitate, and she shakes her head.
“The two of you, I swear.” Her eyes stare through my soul and seize me. “I vow never to reveal what we discuss. Please, relax. Your defensiveness can throw off my instincts.”
“It’s difficult,” I force out. “He and I aren’t really meant to be in the same room.”
“Oh?” Rose looks back at her mate, intrigued.
Gideon’s mouth twitches. “Magic from the earth meeting magic from the sea. It mostly feels uncomfortable.” His eyes lock with mine. “If you mean my mate no harm, none will come to you from me.”
Some of the tension tightening my shoulders eases.
Rose is still frowning at her mate. “But you’ve never had an issue with Gage.”
“Gage is quite young,” I say.
Gideon only nods in agreement. This modern world where paranormal creatures intermingle with one another can cause discomfort, but the part of me that enjoys innovation and change is thrilled by it. I mentally scoff at myself. Katarina and I are alike in that way.
With thoughts of the warm woman I left, I offer my hands to the matchmaker. This time, she takes them. Her grip is soft, comforting in the way sipping tea is, easing and medicinal all at once.
After a moment of Rose analyzing the space around me, probably seeing things that I can only sense, she gives my hands a squeeze.
“You’re quite a mess,” Rose says, not unkindly. “Your dragon has bonded to her, but you have not.”
The truth stings no matter how gently she says it.
“I know,” I say before clearing my throat. “I’ve been mated before. I know how it’s supposed to feel.” And no matter how being with Katarina makes my heart soar, it’s not the same thing.
Rose nods. “I can see your previous bonds, or rather, where they’ve been left to wither.”
The breath freezes in my lungs at the mention of my other bonds. Ava, Luke.
“Must they be severed if I wanted to mate again?” I don’t know if I can do that.
Rose shakes her head. “No, of course not. It’s more that you’ve closed off that part of your soul from yourself. When we ignore parts of ourselves, those parts don’t stay healthy.”
I swallow. “So it would be impossible—”
“Not impossible,” she cuts in. Her mouth thins before she continues, “You’ve separated yourself from your beast too much. Gideon has told me that dragons are similar to krakens in being more magical than physical beings.”
I nod. We are shapeshifters of magic. There’s no knowledge how either of our kinds came to be. Krakens are thought to be born from the sea, while the first dragons came from the fiery earth, but there’s no memory to attest to these things.
“I think you could form another mate bond in time,” Rose breaks through my thoughts. “It may take months or even years, and it won’t happen by accident. You need to stop pushing your beast away. He is you and you are him. You don’t help either of you by rejecting him.”
“I don’t reject him—” I start to argue, but stop. I don’t reject him, but I do consider him separate. An entity to allow exercise from time to time. Not a being that should exist in our modern world. His emotions are a tumult of reactions.
“He’s, to put it simply, your heart,” Rose reiterates. “By being in alignment with him and his will, you can start to awaken that part of yourself that you’ve let go fallow.”
The witch does something that feels like strumming a chord, and the beast is at the forefront, seething with worry and need. I grit my teeth and just as quickly push him down again.
“It hurts,” I hiss.
Rose’s eyes darken with sadness. “I’m sorry about the pain. The ties that have a hold on you will… ache. There’s no way around that. I wouldn’t recommend severing them. They are attached to the best part of you.”
My lips twitch. “The parts that are withering.”
My heart. How tragically poetic.
Rose arches her brow. “They are only withering because of neglect. That doesn’t change the fact that the memory of the ones you’ve lost includes your happiest times as well as the worst times. You’ve refused to make room for other things. It’s not about letting go. It’s about having the courage to add to them. To let the most volatile part of yourself thrive.”
Her next words strike my very core. “You’ve wounded yourself, but wounds can be healed. The pain won’t go away, but you can add sweetness to it still.”
Sweetness… it’s such a simple word for what she means. I can have a mate again. I can have Katarina as my mate.