“I’ll keep my robe, and you can keep yours,” she says.
My lips twitch, and I choose not to tease her about how I can remove my robe if she so desires. Her glare tells me that she wouldn’t take kindly to the offer.
“Very well,” I say, patting my thigh. The motion has her eyes dropping for a moment before she shakes herself free of the sight of my bare legs. Humor that’s rusty with disuse threatens to rise in my chest.
“Fine,” she huffs. She grabs her sketchbook and approaches. There’s a hitch in her step when she gets within arm’s reach of me, as if she doesn’t quite know how to settle on my lap. I grasp her hand and pull her forward before her mind can raise any more objections to this.
When I arrange her on my lap, she softens, relaxing into my hold. As with every time we do this, the easy way she trusts me with her body and bends for my direction has my dragon sighing in satisfaction and lights a fire of temptation over my skin.
“I hope you brought something to keep yourself busy,” she says, ignoring my presence to open her sketchbook.
“You don’t want me just staring at you?” I ask, teasing.
She blushes, the pink of her cheeks making the green of her eyes more vibrant. If I’d had her under full light that night, would I have pushed her to leave in the morning? Yes. There’s a beauty she has, but no amount of beauty can fix something broken centuries ago.
I brandish my phone in one hand. “I’ll just be working on business.”
I read my emails one-handed as she relaxes against me. My other hand presses against her middle without a thought from me. The robe is just as scratchy as it appears, and I try to ignore it.
We spend a few minutes like that. Me reading and sorting emails, and the sound of her pencil scratching the paper.
Her body warmth travels through the robe, but not well. It insulates even more than her flannels do.
I sigh. “Skin to skin would be more effective.”
Her pencil stops. “I’m not getting naked with you.”
Again. The unspoken word rings with memories.
“I meant for my hand. This would be more effective if my hand was under this garment you call a robe.”
“Oh,” she says and bites her lip before answering. “I guess that would be okay.”
I slide my hand under the robe tie rather than where it gapes on her chest. The fabric of her clothing is warm. I pull up the shirt and press my palm to her middle. I don’t question the action. If she hadn’t donned the robe, I would have placed my hand on her back instead.
The zing of magic, the hungry draw of the heat energy as I feed the babe cracks my concentration. For weeks, I’ve avoided thinking about the fact that we’ve conceived a child. That despite my failures, I will have living young. It’s a bright pain that I can’t work through. At the same time, my dragon purrs in contentment.
I’ve truly divided myself from my beast to have us react to this situation so differently. This is something more than immortals developing a separate beast. This is a rebellion of a part of my soul. It is distressing to say the least.
To delay those thoughts, I focus on one thing at a time. In this moment, I send more heat to the child and try to find a distraction. The pain will eventually fade.
Rina hums while she sketches. Flowers that bear a similarity to those in the garden come to life on the page. Each stroke of her pencil adds to the structure of the image and almost hypnotically soothes the divide in my heart.
I’ve seen the great masters’ work and hung art pieces in my own gallery, but never has that inspired the same sort of contentment as whatever magic she’s spinning over me in this moment. Contentment and hunger.
My talons drag against her bare skin, and she freezes.
“Do you hate my presence so much, Rina?” The question slips out before I can catch it.
She doesn’t. Her scent and the way she softens when our bodies press together as if I give her peace tells me that. Yearning blooms in me with her presence. My cocks harden against her warm body, even with her ugly robe.
I want a diversion from the being growing under my hand. I want to rip off the thin robe she wears and press my face into her belly before trailing my tongue lower to lick up her sweet scent from the source. I clench my jaw against the urge.
“Kalos…” She looks away, and I bring my hand from her stomach to her chin, directing her gaze back to mine. There’s an echo of the yearning I feel. A desire I want to feed.
“As you said before, we’re physically compatible.” And I’d rejected her. The weeks have worn down my resolve there. It’s possible to give both our bodies what they want without delving deeper. We’ve done it before.
“I can’t,” she says.
I let her look away and have the privacy for her emotions. There’s no telling what I’d promise if the pain in her gaze had gotten its hooks into me. Beyond all expectation, I like this little thief.
Her determination and passion. The way she’s never allowed herself to be afraid of me even when I threatened to eat her.
“I know that other people can separate sex from other feelings, but I don’t think I can,” she whispers. The words circle us before sinking in.
No, I don’t suppose she can. She’d tried to come off as worldly the night of my heat, but Katarina has been searching for love and acceptance since she was young. The desire on her face isn’t just for physical touch.
What I’m doing is cruel.
This is why I’ve avoided her.
“I understand,” I whisper. “I’m sorry.”
I don’t say for what. It’s hard to articulate it myself. I’m sorry for hurting her before with my careless words, for the future hurts I’ll cause, and for the pain that can’t be resolved in my soul that will hurt both of us in the end.
I can’t let myself keep her. I’m unable to bond with anyone, let alone have a mate again.
And in her presence, I acknowledge I want to.
18
KATARINA
I HUM AS I WORK. The room I’ve set up for my business is delightful. One whole wall is full of windows that give the perfect north light. I still use specific lights for color matching, but this room is a luxury I’ve never had.
A lot of things here are luxuries. My room, Maggie’s cooking, even forced cuddles with Kalos.
The dragon is a temptation I’ve never faced before, but he hasn’t tried to seduce me again.
The days start to blend together. We find our own balance, a routine that works for us. The baby is healthy and growing even quicker than Maggie anticipated. She admitted that she may have been over-cautious in her prediction and the extra contact may not be necessary, but neither Kalos nor I say anything about stopping. It’s a small price to make sure our child is healthy.
And… I like it.