“That’s the point.”
I lift the plate of confection and he grins, instantly releasing me to grab it.
“Macarons!”
He’s so easy to read, it’s heartwarming. Nikolai might be notoriously violent and a crass heathen, but he’s actually a staggeringly simple man, and I love that about him. I’m complicated enough for the both of us.
Pushing up against the counter beside me, he crunches two macarons in one go. He’s only in boxer briefs, his large muscles on full display and his hair falling in smooth waves to his shoulders. Honestly, I’m not complaining. It’s always a feast to look at him this way and know he’s all mine. This monster of a man belongs to me.
“Lotus flower?”
“Hmm?” I click the kettle and retrieve two tea bags.
Nikolai never liked tea before, but when I offer him a cup, he drinks without moaning about it. I’m converting him slowly but surely.
“I’m going to ask you a serious question.”
“What?”
“You said you were in love once. Who were you in love with?”
“Huh?” I stare at him as if he’s grown two heads.
“That day during that never have I ever game. You took the shot when Kill said ‘never have I ever been in love.’ Who stole your heart? I want to know.”
Fuck.
He looks so serious and wounded, I want to kiss him.
So I do. My lips seal to his and I swipe the crumbs of the disgustingly sweet macarons from his lips. “I lied. I was never in love.”
His smile is blinding and he licks his lips as if chasing away mine, then he frowns. “Why did you lie?”
“You were looking at me weird.”
“How weird?”
“Like you wanted to devour me on the spot.”
“I always wanted to devour you, baby.”
“Oh, really? I must’ve missed that.”
“Christ. Was that sarcasm again?”
I grab the kettle and pour water into two mugs. “Make yourself useful and help me set up the table.”
“Give me another kiss first.”
I fist his hair and shove him toward me, then claim his mouth in a slow, sensual kiss, twisting his tongue and tasting the sweetness.
Kissing him outside of sex is different. New. It makes my chest hurt and my brain fog up, but I was always a sucker for pain.
When I release him, he groans. “Mmm. From now on, I’m going to need you to kiss me good morning this way.”
I release him with a push. “Go.”
“Okay, going, going.” He smacks my arse on his way to the opposite counter.
“Nikolai!”
He just grins and rummages through almost all the cupboards until he finally finds two damn knives and forks.
I end up doing most of the work because the way he messes everything up drives me bonkers.
Once we sit down, I sip my English Breakfast tea and go through an e-newspaper on my phone while Nikolai devours the macarons like a monster.
“Who are you texting?” he asks after he swallows.
“Not texting. Reading the news.”
“Why?”
“Because I like to stay informed about what’s happening in the world.”
“But what’s the point?”
“Seriously? You don’t care?”
“Would it change something if I did?”
“Doing something is better than doing nothing.”
“Is that why you participate in all that volunteer work?”
“Yeah. I was born into a life of privilege and I try to help those who weren’t as lucky.”
“Hmm. What about lacrosse? Why do you play it?”
I put my phone down and take a sip of my tea. “I’m good at it.”
“And that’s enough reason to play it?”
“I suppose.”
“I used to play football in high school, but I didn’t only do it because I was good at it. I loved the adrenaline.”
“American football, I presume.”
“The only football.”
“The only football is the one kicked by an actual foot and is the most popular sport in the world.”
He shrugs. “You mean soccer?”
“Don’t call it that in my presence. Disgusting.”
He chuckles, the sound echoing around us with rare ease, and I can’t resist smiling.
I woke up this morning thinking my life would be flipped upside down because I missed the most important part of my routine, but it’s not as apocalyptic as I thought it’d be.
If anything, I like the easy conversation we have.
“Seriously, though. Do you really like lacrosse?” he insists.
“I wouldn’t play it if I didn’t.”
Though the actual reason is that it’s the only sport Lan didn’t play. We used to play polo together when we were growing up, but I distanced myself from that and him as soon as I hit puberty.
I needed to play something he had no interest in. Football, cricket, and my beloved polo were out. Rugby is too physical for my taste. So that left me with lacrosse.
But I don’t say that out loud. I can’t have Nikolai sensing my inferiority complex and thinking I’m less perfect.
He’s watching me with those intense eyes and I don’t like it. I need to change the subject so the focus is on him.
“Hey, Nikolai.”
“Yeah?”
“If you could be anywhere in the world, where would you go?”
“Inside you, baby.”
I nearly choke on my tea. “I’m serious.”
“I’m also serious. I take Kolya’s demands to heart, thank you very much.”
Lifting the cup to my mouth, I pause before I take a sip. “You said you always top. Did you ever consider bottoming?”
“Why?” He raises a brow. “You want to fuck me?”
I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks and I gulp the tea trapped in my mouth. “That’s not what I meant. I was just asking.”
“I don’t like it, but I’d let you if you wanted to try it out.”
“But you just said you don’t like it.”
“I’d rather let you fuck me than you running off to experiment with someone else.”
My lips part. Wow. He’d really go that far for me?
I don’t think about it as I stand up, close the distance between us, and stop between his parted thighs. My fingers sneak beneath his jaw and I look down at his beautiful eyes. “I don’t want to fuck you. But thank you for offering. Really.”
His hands land on my hips. “Tell me if you feel like it. Don’t suppress it just because you know I’m not a fan.”
“You don’t have to worry about that. I really prefer being fucked by you. I like the feeling of…uh, letting go and losing control.”
“You sure?”
“Positive.”
He tugs me forward and I release a startled noise when I land on his lap. My hands grab his shoulders for balance. “What are you doing?”
“I lied. I don’t only want a morning kiss.” His lips ghost over mine. “I need a morning fuck as well.”
This man will fucking destroy me.
I just hope I don’t destroy him in the process.
25
NIKOLAI
Not to be a stalker, but I kind of ended up at the grocery store Bran frequents.
What? It’s his fault that I miss him as soon as we’re apart.
It’s the afternoon and guess what? He’s coming over to the penthouse this early. It’s been about a week since he agreed to stay overnight, and I’ve been the happiest fucking man alive.