“How could you ever think that?”
A trembling sound rolled up her throat. “How could I not, Ryder? How could I not think that you didn’t want me? That you didn’t desire me? That you wanted something different? Because I spent a whole lot of years questioning, what was it about me that you didn’t want. What weren’t you attracted to. My personality? Because I was pretty sure you liked that. Or was it my body?”
Pain leached into her voice, and she looked away when she asked, “Do you think I didn’t notice the type of women you went after?”
I reached out, taking her by the chin, prying those eyes back to mine. “I went after them because I couldn’t have the one woman that I wanted. Because I knew I would never be worthy of you, Dakota. Because I knew I’d never be good enough. And I’m still not, and here I stand, a fucking bastard for even thinking about touching you.”
I shouldn’t be.
Not yet.
Not until I fixed this.
And still I was sliding my arm around her waist, tugging her against me and walking her backward into the closest room which happened to be hers. The lamp glowed from her nightstand, and I edged her back until we were in front of the full-length mirror that was leaned against the wall.
Slowly, I shifted her around, and my hand slid around and came to rest on her stomach as I turned her to face the mirror. I looked at her reflection from over her shoulder.
Her chest heaved, and I could feel the shivers rolling through her. Shivers of need and ones that were coming from whatever wounds I’d unknowingly inflicted.
“Look at you,” I muttered at her ear, tugging her closer against me.
My cock was stone, pressing into the small of her back, and our breaths had gone ragged.
I watched as her gaze traced over herself.
Over us.
This gorgeous girl in front of me, all her beauty up against the hard planes of me where I towered over her.
My fingertips pressed into her stomach, needing her closer.
Dakota whimpered.
“Look at you,” I said again, voice so low.
“Do you see what I see? Because what I see is this fuckin’ stunning woman who’s got me so hard I can hardly think straight. So twisted up, I might black out. A woman who walks into the room and every head turns, drawn to her beauty.”
My hand wandered, gliding up her quivering stomach to come to just below her breasts.
“A goddess.” I breathed it at her ear.
Whimpering, she pressed back against me. “Ryder.”
I kept going, my voice low in the confines of the room. “Look at her. This woman who is so strong and fierce. One who strives for what she wants. Fights for it. But she’s also good, through and through. So thoughtful and kind that it breaks my heart looking at her because I know I could never be a match to who she is.”
I smoothed both my palms down the front of the pajama top and dipped them under, riding them back up, taking the material with me as I went.
And I was the one who was fucking trembling because I couldn’t wait to get to those gorgeous tits I knew were hiding underneath. Tits she’d driven me to madness with over all these years. Chills lifted on her flesh as I dragged the damp fabric up and pulled it over her head.
I grunted at the sight. “Fuck, look at you, Dakota.”
She wasn’t wearing a bra, and her breasts were heavy, dusky pink nipples peaked and hard.
I cupped them from the underside and dragged the pad of my thumbs over the pebbled tips, trying not to come in my pants because fuck, the number of times I’d imagined touching her like this.
She gasped and sagged against me, a tiny moan getting free of her delicious mouth as I continued to rub circles. “Ryder. God, I don’t think I can take this.”
“You can’t take it, Dakota?” My mouth returned to her ear. “Do you have any idea the way you teased me with these gorgeous tits? Wearing all those sweet dresses? Knowing how perfect you were underneath. Did you know, Dakota?”
The back of her head shook against my chest.
“Well listen now and don’t ever forget it. You are everything. Inside and out.”
I nipped my teeth over her earlobe before I kissed down her neck, gliding lower, before I fully knelt. I angled around the side so I could continue to watch her through the mirror. The way she shivered and shook as I hooked my fingers in the waistband of her sleep shorts and peeled them down her legs, taking her underwear with me as I went.
I unwound them from her ankles.
It left her completely bare in front of me.
A sight I’d only dreamed of seeing.
Rich brown hair streaked in honey cascaded around her shoulders, draping down to brush over her tits.
Hips full and wide.
The girl nothing but delicious curves and tempting frame.
“Told you last night that you’re the one who’s had me on my knees, Dakota. A beggar at your feet. Do you get it now?”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
Still behind her, I slowly pushed to standing, fingers sinking into her hips and dragging her back against me.
All that soft against all my hard.
I wanted to bury myself in it. Get lost in it.
And I knew I was treading a thin line. That I was teetering. Getting ready to fall off the side. But I couldn’t go on without her knowing what I saw when I looked at her.
How I felt.
That was the confession that threatened to erupt, and terror locked up my throat.
It was an admission I couldn’t give. Not until I was sure I could promise her everything.
That I wouldn’t be issuing a lie if I admitted what thrummed in my veins.
I slowly rounded her, placing soft kisses on every curve.
Her shoulders.
The swell of her breasts.
Riding down to her belly.
Her hips.
Her thighs.
Needy fingers dove into my hair, yanking at me.
I looked up, catching those eyes staring down at me. “Ryder, I don’t know what you’re trying to do to me, but you’d better do it fast.”
A rough chuckle scraped free. “Eager girl.”
“I already told you I’ve been waiting for too long. I need it. I need you.”
She yanked me toward her pussy that was right in my face. I sent her a smirk as I nudged my hand between her thighs and pressed two fingers into her cunt.
Her walls throbbed around me, woman dripping into the palm of my hand.
“Soaked,” I grunted.
“Did you think I wouldn’t be? With the way you’re teasing me? I want—”
Standing fast, I cut her off before she could get out the plea because I knew what she was asking for. I picked her up by the waist and tossed her onto the center of her bed.
Surprise left her on a gasp, then she giggled as she bounced, and God, she was a fucking sight.
Mesmerizing.
Entrancing.
A dream I was fading into.
The way she was watching me, long locks of hair strewn around her, every inch of her bare.
“I want to see you,” she murmured.
It was a terrible, bad idea because my restraint was fraying with every second that passed, but I figured she’d seen me that way last night, anyway. And if she’d let me strip her down to nothing, the only gentlemanly thing to do would be to return the favor. So I peeled myself out of my tee then went to work on my fly, shoving my jeans down my legs until I was naked in front of her.
She pushed up onto her elbows, and she took me in the same way as I’d been watching her through the mirror. But unlike her, I had everything to hide. A reason to cower and cover.
Except she was murmuring her praise like I wasn’t a monster standing in front of her. “I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as you, Ryder. You think it was me driving you insane? Couldn’t you feel it coming off me every time you came in the room? I don’t know how one man can make me shake the way you do. The way you make my heart race. The way I…”
She trailed off, unable to say it.
Confessions locked in the tension. Bound by the past. Because we’d be fools to go there when I’d already warned her that I wasn’t sure that I could stay.
But I was still climbing onto the bed, a fiend crawling over her, hovering in all her heat.
Getting lost in her warmth.
In those eyes.