Heat rushed to the surface of my skin, and I yanked my arm away from her hold and covered my face with both hands, peeking at her through my fingers. “It’s pierced, Paisley. Like, oh my God…how was I even supposed to handle it?”
She choked and grabbed me by both wrists that time. “I told you that you needed to go dick-hunting, and you landed yourself a prized stag? There is no handling that. No one could blame you for anything that happened after.”
“Well, I stood there staring at him like a moron for about five minutes before I gathered my wits and went running back to my room. But then he texted me…and asked if I liked watching him.”
“Holy crap, Dakota. I knew it. I freaking knew it. I knew that man has been dying to get in my Doodle-Boo.”
“He acted like nothing happened the next day, but there was a tension between us that hadn’t been there before. Like…I could just feel it. And after I got back from my date—”
A man who was unfamiliar and was giving tourist vibes rounded into the hall, and I clapped off my explanation, grinning wide as he passed like I wasn’t over here confessing my most sordid secrets to my bestie in the middle of my restaurant when I should be working.
Paisley sent him daggers like he’d walked by with a pin and popped her balloon.
He hurried, quick to duck into the swinging door of the bathroom, and I giggled. “You’re going to get me a bad review. Food is great but watch out for the trolls loitering outside the bathroom.”
Her grin was manic. “Um, tell me a bad review isn’t worth this?”
“It’d be worth a thousand bad reviews.”
And that was a problem. What I was willing to give for him. But I’d been willing all along. I’d wanted to share this life with him, and we had, in a way, but so different than I’d hoped it would be.
I’d spent the last years thinking I’d been a complete fool. A lovestruck little girl with stars in her eyes who didn’t get it.
One who wanted something far above her reach.
But now…
“So…you looked crazy hot, just like I knew you would, because hello, my bestie is a stunner, and you came back, and he was crazy jealous, and he hauled you upstairs and ravaged you the entire night with that pierced dick?” Paisley urged, tugging at my arm again, supplying all the details like she’d been there.
A needy wash fluttered through my belly.
God. I wished.
I was also kind of terrified of it at the same time.
The little that had happened had left me unanchored.
Still, I laughed a low sound, shaking my head. “No.”
“Then what?” she whined. “Tell me I don’t have to gut him and bury him in a shallow grave out on the ranch. Because I will if he left you wanting.”
Flames licked. “He didn’t leave me wanting.”
Truth was, I’d always be wanting…but still.
“He set me on his table and he…” I did that whole tipping my head thing again. Apparently, it worked for all sexual acts.
She squealed and flung my arms all over. “Yes! Thank God. It’s about time my Doodle-Boo got herself the yummy O that wasn’t compliments of her own hands. Now it’s time for the good D.”
Desire barreled through me, but I had to be careful not to let myself get carried away.
Ryder had made those barriers clear, his feelings pronounced as he’d gone back to his room like him touching me had been a mortal sin.
I shook my head. “I doubt that. I think it was a one-time thing. We both got caught up in what happened that night when I walked in on him, and we had to get it out of our systems.”
“And aren’t you asking why it was in your systems in the first place?” she challenged.
I’d spent way too much time asking myself about it.
I hesitated, then said, “I think who we are got confused for a minute.”
“Confused?” Paisley rocked back on her boots and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Yeah.”
She tossed a lock of her white hair over her shoulder. “Are you joking with me right now, Dakota?”
A soft puff of air blew from my nose. “It’s what makes the most sense.”
After everything, it’s what added up.
Except for the things he’d been saying last night. The way he’d murmured that he wanted to be good enough. The way he’d said he’d love me every day if he could.
“And what makes the most sense? That morbid belief you’ve always had that there is something about you that Ryder might not be attracted to?”
Paisley was the best kind of friend I could ask for, but she never hesitated to push me up against a wall, either.
Relentless when she believed something was right.
“I didn’t say that.”
Her arms tightened across her chest, her love and belief and some kind of disappointment leaking into her voice. “Um, yes you did, Dakota. Maybe not in those words, but you told me when I got back that you weren’t delusional. I didn’t press you then, but I want you to tell me right now what that means.”
The men’s restroom door swung open, and the same gentleman stepped out. This time, Paisley sent him a ridiculous grin as he passed by. “Thanks for coming into Time River Market and Café,” she called behind him. “Be sure to leave us a 5-star review.”
“Paisley.” I giggled.
Her smile softened when she looked at me, everything about her going tender as she reached out and fiddled with a lock of my hair. “You are the most amazing person I know, Dakota Cooper. Talented and smart and hardworking and stunning in a way that leaves the rest of us in your shadow. And I know you see it when you look in the mirror. But it doesn’t show when you stand in front of him. And it’s time you stood up and felt it. Let go of whatever he did in the past that made you think you are anything less than incredible.”
“He didn’t—” I cut the denial off myself.
Because he had.
He hadn’t meant to. But he’d hurt me.
“I know you two have some sort of history. You’ve tried to keep it hidden, but it’s obvious, Dakota, and whatever it was you two tried to bury has floated to the surface.”
“That’s the thing, though, Paisley. I tried once. I told him how I felt, and he told me he didn’t feel the same way.”
I glanced around the restaurant, vibrating with appreciation for the gift that he’d given me despite it.
“Just because he didn’t feel that way then doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel it now. Feelings develop. Hell, I hated Caleb the first time I saw him.”
“You only hated him because of how bad you wanted to hump him.” I cocked my head with the tease.
“True. That man drove me insane with just a look.”
I laughed, and she wrapped me in her arms, rocking me back and forth. “If you want him? Then go for him, Dakota. I know there’s history. I know there’s pain and your brother and all these voices that are telling you it’s a bad idea. But if you want it? Then you go for it, and you do it unafraid.”
My fearless, wild friend.
But I wasn’t sure I could fully lay myself on the line again. Wasn’t sure my heart could take it if Ryder rejected me again.
Still, I hugged her back and whispered, “Thank you so much for being here for me.”
She eased back with a soft smile. “Um, hello, what do you think I’m here for? You’ve always been there for me during my hard times, and you can bet I’m going to be there for you. You can trust me, you know? With whatever you need to talk about.”
“I know that, and I’m so thankful for it.”
She squeezed me tight again before she laughed and pulled all the way back, taking my hand and swinging it between us as she led us down the hall. “I need to get back to the ranch. I was at the store and wanted to swing in to see how everything went, plus Grandpa is demanding I bring him home one of your pot pies.”
Affection pulled at my chest. “He’s always loved those.”
“Reminds him of my grandma’s.”
“That makes me happy.”
“Well, you make a whole lot of people happy, Dakota. I hope you know that. What you’ve created here is something special.”
She slowed as we stepped out into the store where a ton of people milled around, waiting for their names to be called since the dining room was already full for lunch.
Pride swelled, and I couldn’t help but remember how it’d been made possible.
And maybe that should have been enough.