Dirty Thirty (Stephanie Plum, #30)



At 1:03 a.m. I dragged myself out of bed, put a sweatshirt on over my pajamas, and found my way to the front door in the dark. Bob was right behind me. I grabbed my messenger bag, and Bob and I exited the apartment.

“I couldn’t take it anymore,” I said to Bob. “If I’d stayed in there any longer, I would have smothered Lula with her magenta pillow. I need sleep.”

Bob’s tail was down, and he looked like he had bags under his eyes. He needed sleep too. We left the building and got into the Explorer, and I drove to my parents’ house. Lights were off. I looked at the time on my phone. Crap.

“We can’t crash here,” I said to Bob. “Everyone’s asleep. I’d scare the bejeezus out of them if I walked into the house.”

I couldn’t go to Morelli’s house. Anthony was there. I could try a hotel, but I had Bob with me. I’d have to find a dog-friendly hotel. I drove past Connie’s house. Lights were off there too, and she lived with her mother, who was a bit of a nightmare. I had one option left. Ranger.

It was eerie driving through the city. Not many cars on the road. No pedestrians. A few men sleeping in doorways of stores and office buildings. Light pooled under streetlamps, but the buildings were black.

I turned onto Ranger’s street and idled in front of his office building. A light went on at the entrance to the underground garage. I was driving a fleet car, and I was a blip on one of the control room screens.

I sucked in some air and dialed Ranger.

“Babe,” he said.

“Hi!” I said. All cheery. “How’s it going?”

Ranger disconnected and the gate to the garage opened without the use of my key card. I parked in one of his spots by the elevator, Bob and I got out, and the elevator door opened. We stepped in and we were whisked up to Ranger’s private floor. Ranger was waiting at the door to his apartment. Beyond him the lights were dim. He’d probably been asleep when the control room awakened him. He was wearing a T-shirt and sweats. He looked at me and he looked at Bob.

“There’s a story here,” he said.

Ranger’s apartment had been professionally decorated by someone who’d listened when Ranger told her what he wanted. Cool. Serene. Subtly masculine. Comfortable. A short hall led to an open-concept living room, dining area, and small, state-of-the-art kitchen. Beyond the living room were Ranger’s office, bedroom, and bathroom. Ella made sure that his one-thousand-thread-count percale sheets were ironed, his pillows were sleep inducing, his bath towels were fluffy, his kitchen was stocked, his clothes were lint free, wrinkle free, and a perfect fit. Ella and her husband lived in an apartment on the first floor.

I followed Ranger to the kitchen. “Do we need to talk?” he asked. “Do you need food? Wine?”

“I need sleep,” I said.

“I’m listening.”

“I don’t have the energy to go into detail. Lula and Nutsy are living with me. Nutsy is on the couch and Lula has taken over my bedroom. If I stayed in my apartment a moment longer there would be blood all over the floor and it wouldn’t be mine.”

“This would explain the sweatshirt over the pajamas, but it doesn’t explain the pajamas. I’ve never known you to sleep in pajamas.”

“I sleep in pajamas when it’s cold and when Lula is sharing my bed. She’s a bed hog, and she snores like a rhinoceros. Poor Bob went into the bathroom to try to sleep.” Tears started to leak out of my eyes. “They’ve taken over my apartment. I like them but I can’t live with them.”

Ranger cuddled me into him and kissed me just above my ear. “But you can live with me?”

I nodded and sniffed up some snot.

He wrapped an arm around me and moved me toward the bedroom. “We’ll figure this out in the morning.”

I shucked my sweatshirt and slipped into Ranger’s bed. The sheets were smooth and cool. The comforter was just right. The pillow was perfect, and it wasn’t magenta satin. Ranger slid in next to me and Bob jumped up onto the bed. Bob turned around twice and curled up at our feet.

“This is a first,” Ranger said. “I’ve never slept with another man’s dog.”



* * *




Ranger was long gone when Bob and I woke up. I zipped myself into my sweatshirt and took Bob out for a short walk. When we returned to Ranger’s apartment, Ella had set breakfast out for Bob and me. There was a bag of organic beef-flavored kibble for Bob plus matching food and water bowls. My breakfast consisted of smoked salmon, deviled eggs, a toasted bagel with cream cheese, a selection of pastries, a fruit plate, and coffee.

A change of clothes had been placed on the bed. This wasn’t the first time I’d unexpectedly stayed with Ranger. Ella knew all my sizes. I showered and got dressed, and Bob and I went down to the fifth floor. I stepped out of the elevator and Lula called.

“Thank goodness you answered,” Lula said. “Are you okay? Where are you?”

“Bob and I are at Rangeman. Breakfast meeting.”

“I got up and you weren’t in the apartment. And then I got to the office, and you weren’t there either, so I was afraid Grendel stole you just like my clothes and stuff.”

“I haven’t seen Grendel,” I said. “What’s going on with Nutsy?”

“He was still sleeping when I left.”

“I have some business to take care of here, and then I’ll be in the office later this morning.”

“Okey dokey. I might go shopping and get some houseplants to brighten the apartment up.”

“I’m not good with houseplants,” I said. “They always die.”

“No problem. I got a green thumb. You know what else might be good? An aquarium.”

“No! No aquarium. I do not want an aquarium.”

“Salt water is best. The best fish live in salt water.”

“No aquarium. No, no, no, no.”

I hung up, and Bob and I walked down the hall to Ranger’s office. Bob bounded in and rushed up to Ranger for ear ruffles and head scratches.

I sat in the chair by Ranger’s desk. “Lula is stuck in my house. I don’t know how to get rid of her.”

“You could tell her to leave,” Ranger said. “That usually works.”

“And then there’s Nutsy.”

Ranger leaned back in his chair a little. “Tell me about Nutsy.”

Twenty minutes later, Ranger had the whole picture.

“Do we believe him?” Ranger asked.

“Good question. I believe some of it. He’s got a bunch of stitches where he was shot. And it kind of holds together if you know Nutsy. He claims to have the bag of jewelry. I think we should check it out.”

“I don’t have anything on my schedule until this afternoon. Let’s start with the bag of jewelry. Tell Nutsy we want to talk to him.”

Nutsy was still in my apartment when I called.

“Don’t go anywhere,” I said. “I’m downtown, but I’m on my way home.”

We took my fleet car with Ranger driving. He was in Rangeman black fatigues and windbreaker. I was in black jeans, a pink fitted V-neck T-shirt, and an extra-small Rangeman fleece jacket. Ella enjoyed dressing a girl for a change.