“I miss everyone, too.” My heart warmed inside my chest and I sank further into the mattress, my phone outstretched above me. I missed them in a different way than I did a week ago, though. I missed them like you miss a lifelong friend. One that you know will always be there waiting for you no matter how much time goes by. You miss them, you love them, you want to see them—but if something else gets in the way, that’s okay too.
Not how I knew I’d be missing Frankie. He was a slow growing addiction that scared me as much as it made me feel on top of the world. Even if I didn’t want to, my body would still be seeking out that fix of him. Wishing we existed in the same place at the same time.
“Another week or so and I’ll be back. It’ll go quick,” I said reassuringly.
“We’ll be counting down the minutes,” Mom promised. “I’ll call you on Christmas, honey. Go enjoy your night, I don’t want to keep you.”
I sat up in bed and blew a kiss toward my phone. “I love you, talk soon.”
“Love you,” she repeated.
The call cut out and I threw myself back into the mattress, a delighted, weightless groan following. I was maybe the easiest woman to make happy, or just thrived on mutual emotion, but a conversation as short and simple as that with my mother was like a mood elixir.
I caught a sideways glimpse of myself in the standing mirror and was amazed at the satisfaction in my expression. Things were so fucking good, I couldn’t believe the person looking back at me was the same woman in the throes of self-deprecation two weeks before.
My confidence materialized into something brash as I lay there, heels digging into the soft give of Frankie’s sheets. Alone in the quiet, dark, sensual atmosphere of everything that was him, without consequence.
I tapped my fingernails against my bottom lip and unlocked my phone again.
Ophelia: Hi
A few seconds later three dots appeared on the screen.
Frankie <3: Hi, Trouble
Ophelia: How’s Miami?
Frankie <3: You’ll get an earful tomorrow
I stood and paced a slow circle around the wood floor in his bedroom.
Ophelia: That bad?
Frankie <3: Mom’s got a new boyfriend
Ophelia: Fuck
Ophelia: Are you okay?
Frankie <3: I’ve been lying in the grass outside for two hours. Addy abandoned me for her girlfriend after beer number three
Ophelia: Are you drunk?
Frankie <3: And so, so horny
My finger dusted across the top of his dresser as I stopped in front of the mirror.
Ophelia: Need a distraction?
Frankie <3: Don’t tease me, Ophelia
I snapped a flirty picture of myself in the reflection and sent it.
Frankie <3: Are you in my bedroom?
Ophelia: Seems that way
Frankie <3: Fucking Christ, why?
Ophelia: I’m supposed to be making gingerbread houses with Nat and Mateo
I opened the camera again, this time pulling the hem of my T-shirt up above my chest so my bra and a peek of cleavage stood out before taking the picture.
Frankie <3: Damn it, O
Ophelia: My mother told me to drive you crazy
I hatched an idea suddenly, wriggling out of my clothes and rooting through the drawers in the dresser for something of his to wear.
Frankie <3: You told your mother about me?
Busted.
Ophelia: She asked
Frankie <3: You’re lying, and for some reason that makes this hotter
I opened and closed a few drawers one-handed, nudging them back into place with my hip and moving onto the next set.
Frankie <3: I’m tipsy enough to tell you I need more and not be embarrassed about it
I smirked, sticking my hand in the dark confines of what looked like his underwear drawer. Half of it was empty save for a scrap of red fabric that would have been looked over entirely if not for a sweeping sense of familiarity.
“What…?”
I lifted my own lacy red thong out of the drawer, the one he’d pocketed the very first morning in Coconut Creek. Hair rose from my neck all the way down to my tailbone. I sent another photo with the fabric dangling from my fingertips.
Ophelia: Explain
Frankie <3: Figured if you’re my girl you need a drawer
My eyes shifted in and out of focus twice as I read his message, knees weakening to cheap rubber.
If you're my girl.
Ophelia: Taking this practice dating thing pretty seriously
Frankie <3: Don’t change the subject
His nonchalance was all the more attractive, because—he just didn’t realize, did he? That something as basic as making space in a dresser without being asked, without flaunting it, without needing the pat on the back for simply choosing to prioritize me meant more than I could word.
To feel desired. In more than a physical sense. Without denial.
Ophelia: Tell me what you want
Frankie <3: You
Frankie <3: Here
Frankie <3: Now
Ophelia: I was thinking more visually
Frankie <3: Something to hold me over until I ruin you tomorrow
My body stirred awake like a loud knock on the door in the middle of the night. Warmth blossomed down my spine, between my legs. A train of need passing through me fruitlessly without Frankie there to bring me some type of release.
I crawled to his headboard, easing my exposed body against the dark wood. Then, I unhooked my bra and tossed it to the floor.
Ophelia: Does it turn you on to know I’m naked in your bed?
I slid my thong I’d found in his drawer up my legs, adjusting the thin straps high on my hips.
Frankie <3: You know the answer to that. Show me
My fingers shook as I took another photo, vulnerable, yet grossly unabashed. I’d never felt so confident with a man, and it was because I knew Frankie was really looking at me. I was trusting him with all of these parts of myself, knowing he wouldn’t ever betray them.
Framed in yellow light, the silhouette of every last curve on display, a teasing smile, waves of my hair falling like a curtain around my face as I untied it. There was a woman that lived somewhere idly inside me staring back at the screen, like she knew a secret I was so close to uncovering.
That poised, elusive woman, no matter how much I wanted to take her back home with me, belonged to him. No one had ever had that version of me. She was his.
Ophelia: Finally wore them for you
I attached the photo.
Frankie <3: Fuck me, you’re so lucky I can’t drive right now
Ophelia: I wouldn’t call that luck
A minute passed as I watched him type with my thumb between my teeth.
Frankie <3: I’m going to give you everything you want when I get home, Ophelia. Bet on that
The sentiment was physical, but I pretended for a feeble moment that it was more. A man promising me the world, and me wanting nothing more than to take it from him.
The pressure of my teeth sinking into my lip mixed the perfect amount of pain with the stomach sinking feeling of arousal. I was coiled like a spring. Even the small grazing of my knuckles down my body gave me chills.
Ophelia: Distracted?
The soft murmurs of our friends from down the hallway prompted me to stand and reluctantly dress myself again, recentering without any relief. Frankie’s clock on the nightstand read half past nine, it was almost Christmas Eve, and I was another day closer to the end of a trip that I wished more than anything had a pause button.
My phone lit up again.