“Yeah.” She giggled.
“That’s it. I’m trying to keep up with everyone going in a hundred different directions, but my legs won’t move. They want to, I’m kicking, but some weird outside force I can’t fight is keeping me in the same place.”
“It’s the protector instinct.” She squeezed my hand. “You’ve been the man of the house for longer than Dad was at this point. That’s not an easy torch to pass, especially to someone you don’t know.” A beat passed. “Look at me.”
We both turned our heads in unison.
“Would I ever let someone I didn’t think was worthy of Mom into our lives?”
I sighed. “No.”
“Exactly. I don’t know if you know this, but you are one scary motherfucker when you want to be.”
I cracked a reluctant smile. “Shut up.”
“Literally no one could fill your shoes, Frankie, you are too good. You’re the best person I’ve ever met. Selfless, loyal, humble, hardworking—funny.” That last word came out under her breath. “But you need to be all of those things for you, not for us anymore.”
“What does that mean?” I snorted.
“Go to Colorado.”
I swallowed the challenge bubbling in my throat. “What if it’s the wrong choice?”
“You would have never even gone out there for an interview in the first place if you thought that.”
We both sat up again, staring down the hill at the silhouettes of Mom and Charlie moving about in the kitchen through the windows. Malia stood close by laughing at something animated he was describing with his hands as Mom smiled into the sudsy sink.
“They have to know.” I gestured to Malia before turning back toward my sister.
“I think Mom is just waiting for me to say it first,” Addy admitted. “She hasn’t given a random guy at the deli counter my number since Malia started coming around.”
“Quite the matchmaker.”
“Apparently not.” She grinned, her teeth bright against the darkening curtain of night. “I have friends with teenage children, Frankie.” Her eyes widened and she shook me playfully. “Teenagers!”
“Well, I’m happy for you anyway.” I threw an arm around her shoulder. “Everyone’s paired up, huh? Just in time for Christmas.”
My sister leaned her head on my shoulder. I knew her curiosity still ran rampant, the questions ping-ponging through her head so loud I could hear them. I wanted her to pry a little more. Which was bewildering, given that until that moment I’d wanted exactly the opposite.
Maybe it was knowing that everyone I cared about had it all figured out and I was still stuck in a limbo, waiting for something to happen. Mateo and Tally, Adriana and Malia, Mom and Charlie. Even if they didn’t have it figured out, they still had each other.
I was far from settled, and I definitely didn’t have my shit together. But I did have one thing that was quickly becoming the best part of my tangled, inexplicable chaos.
“Are you gonna tell me her name now?” Addy asked expectantly.
The corner of my mouth twitched upward. “Ophelia.”
26
The door to Frankie’s bedroom clicked shut, just in time for me to casually throw myself on the bed and answer the video call coming in before it turned to voicemail.
I made myself at home amongst the pillows, answering it with my brightest smile as a pixelated image of my mother filled the screen. She was sitting in the sun room, dusk not quite reaching that side of the country yet, whereas I was shrouded in night and lamplight.
“Are you in a man’s bed?”
So perceptive.
“Hello to you too, Mother.”
“Hi honey,” she backtracked, her lips twisting into a grin. “I feel like I haven’t seen your face in months. It’s lonely here without you.”
“Is it?” I blushed, tugging at a loose strand of my ponytail. It was comforting to hear her say that.
“Like a piece is missing,” she told me. “We have to figure something different out next year, something better for all of us.”
“Has it been hell getting everything ready for Christmas?” I picked absentmindedly at the dark thread of Frankie’s comforter.
“You know Gavin, doesn’t want to wait another minute for the gifts. But Laila’s still on the Santa train, so it’s been a nightmare keeping him out of the basement storage for the last week.”
“You should have left everything at my place.” I laughed. “That’s what Dad does.”
“Smart man. Why didn’t I think of that?”
“I’m sure it was Amy who thought of it, but she would never ask me herself.”
“She’s a shy one.” My mom giggled. “Anyway, tell me what’s happening in Florida. It’s been snowing for a week here.”
“Natalia is practically engaged, can you believe it?”
“Naturally.” She shrugged. “A good guy?”
“Yeah, he’s pretty great. Perfect for her. They’re so in love it’s disgusting.” I said. “We’re at his house now, and I’m hiding out in his roommate's bedroom.”
My mom's eyebrows danced provocatively. “Nice of him to let you get so comfortable.”
“You’re prying without prying.”
“I just think it’s nice. You’re practically snuggling with his pillows. Must be an accommodating host.”
“Maybe he is.” I stuck my tongue out.
“Fine, I won’t pry.”
I bit my lip, but it was useless pretending I didn’t want to talk about Frankie. The praise was nearly dripping off my tongue. “He’s ex-military.” I covered my mouth. “A pilot.”
Her face lit up and she got closer to the camera, trying to inhale the details through the screen. “Handsome?”
“Irritatingly.”
“Caring?”
“Emotionally and physically.”
She gasped. “Don’t fall in love in Florida, Ophelia. I need my daughter back.”
“That’s ridiculous.” I hid my face in the pillow and inhaled the subject of discussion’s galvanizing scent. “We’re just having fun. God knows I need a break from husband hunting.”
“Make him crazy then,” she said. “Throw out the sails, have a tête-à-tête. Everyone deserves a torrid love affair at least once and there’s no aphrodisiac like a ticking clock.”
“Mom!” My body vibrated with laughter. “If Josh could hear you now,” I teased. “His wife, the harlot.”
She shifted the camera and I caught a glimpse of my stepfather sitting on the leather recliner to her side reading a book. His attention hardly waned from the page, but he wore an amused smirk.
“Hi, Josh,” I chirped.
“Hiya, Phee.” He looked over the rim of his glasses resting on his nose and into the camera briefly. “Missing you here.”