She doesn’t have anything to say to that, so silence stretches between us for a long while.
“If I quit, I’d feel like a failure.” Miller’s voice shockingly cracks a bit, so I pull her into me, allowing her to speak her mind, drunkenly or not. “I thought I just needed a break this summer to get my groove back, but it doesn’t simply feel like burnout anymore. It feels like I’ve spent my whole life chasing a career that I’m realizing, regardless of the awards and the prestige, isn’t all that fulfilling. And over the last seven weeks I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been, chasing Max around, spending time with my dad, being with you.”
“Mills, you’re twenty-five. You could change directions a hundred more times in your life, and you’d still never be a failure. You’re too hard of a worker to ever be considered a failure. Life is meant to be spent chasing happiness.”
She pauses and when she speaks again, it’s simply a hiccup and the words, “I’m almost twenty-six.”
I crane my neck to look down at her. “Define almost.”
“I’ll be twenty-six this week.”
“Miller, when exactly is your birthday?”
“Saturday.”
Four days. Her birthday is in four days.
“Why didn’t you tell me? That’s the day before you leave.”
She shrugs against me. “I’ve never really had anyone to tell, I guess.”
God, I know that sentiment all too well.
I pull her in closer. We’re more alike than I ever thought possible. We’ve gone through our adult lives alone. Me because of the cards I was dealt and Miller because she has a hard time growing attachments when she bounces from city to city.
“Do you want more kids?” she asks, and the sudden change of subject startles me awake.
“Jesus. How drunk are you?”
“Just a little tipsy. That Big Mac really soaked it all up. Answer my question, Rhodes. Do you want more babies?”
If she would’ve asked me this back in June, the answer would have been a resounding no. Mostly because I didn’t think I was doing a very good job with the one I already have, but spending the last seven weeks feeling like a family with the girl by my side has changed my view on it all.
If it were with her, the answer would be, “Yeah, I do.”
She flips onto her belly, laying on me. “Yeah?”
“Yes. But next time, I’ll be there for it all. I’ll never miss six months again.”
She crosses her arms over my chest, resting her chin there. “You deserve that. You also make really pretty babies, so you should keep doing that.”
Chuckling, I tuck away the hairs that are falling out of her bun. “Do you want kids one day?”
“I never thought about it before, if I’m being honest. I’ve always been focused on the next goal, the next career move, and families aren’t exactly conducive to high-end restaurant life. But if my life was different, I could see it. As long as they were exactly like Max.”
My smile is soft. “He’s a good one.”
“The best one,” she says with a sigh. “Kai?”
“Yeah?”
“Can we forget about some of my rules? For the rest of the week while I’m here? I just want to know what it’d feel like.”
“You want to know how what feels like?”
“To be yours.”
Watching her, I search for any sign she might take those words back when she’s sober, but Miller’s eyes are clear and bright. So, I lean down and press my lips to hers, kissing her in a way that isn’t related to sex. Kissing her in a way that feels attached and full of strings because that’s exactly what I am when it comes to her.
“Mills, you already are mine. Even if I haven’t been allowed to show you, you’ve always been mine.”
She settles back onto my chest. “Until Sunday. That rule has to stay.”
That rule is the most frustrating one, but what am I going to do? Beg her to want me outside of this summer fling? Ask her to give up on her dreams to play house with me and my son forever?
She’s too free, too wild to be tied down to me. She’s too talented for me to ask that of her.
“Miller?”
She hums in sleepy acknowledgment.
“Today was a good day.”
She smiles against my chest. “They could all be good days.”
At least until Sunday.
Blinking awake, I find Miller’s hair covering my face. Her ass is nestled into the cradle of my hips, her thick thighs melded to mine.
I lift to look at her.
She’s still sleeping on my numb arm, fingers linked through mine. She’s peaceful, warm, and looks like she belongs here, in my bed. I haven’t had the privilege to wake up with only her since we became more, and somehow, I need to figure out how to make our next four mornings, our only four, last me a lifetime.
I kiss her inked arm, running my lips over the black floral lines, and for someone who lives so unattached, I’m surprised she was able to commit to something so permanent.
She stretches against me, her ass rubbing against the obvious morning erection I’ve got. “Good morning.”
Her voice is even raspier than usual and it has my already hard dick standing at attention.
I pull her body closer. “Morning, Mills.”
She’s putty against me, still sleepy and so fucking pretty.
Languidly, she writhes against me, still waking up, but I can tell by the way she’s moving she woke up turned on.
“I had a dream last night,” she says. “Well, it was kind of a nightmare.”
“Oh yeah?” I kiss the skin under her ear, my hand dipping under the hem of my shirt she’s wearing. “Tell me all about it.”
“I was in bed with a giant baseball player. Wears glasses. Tattoo on his thigh.”
My palm drifts to her bare tits, running over the pebbled skin. “He sounds attractive.”
“He was, but when I asked him to take advantage of me, he turned me down.”
She rolls her ass against my cock, and I pull her tighter against me to do it again.
“What a dick. Clearly, he doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
“Clearly.” Her voice is breathy, and a moan laces her words when I tweak her nipple. “So I think it’s only fair if you take advantage of me this morning to make up for that guy. Really stick it to him by sticking it in me, you know?”
I chuckle against her, my fingers tracing delicate circles over her stomach, running my palm over her smooth skin. “Is that what you want, baby?” I dip lower, my fingertips trailing over the top of her panties. “You want me to fuck you in my bed? You want to know what I’d be like if I got to wake up to you every morning?”
A little moan escapes her as she nods frantically, her thighs rubbing together as I toy with the hem of her underwear.
“You want to regret spending the last seven weeks sleeping in a bed that wasn’t mine?”
“Yes.” It’s barely a puff of air, already so turned on simply from waking up.
The tip of my pinky slips under her waistband, running along the smooth, warm skin there before pulling out.
“Please,” she begs, writhing on the mattress next to me and pushing her ass back into me. “Please, Kai. Don’t tease me.”
“Don’t tease you, huh?” I nip at her earlobe, dipping my hand into her panties, my fingers grazing over her pussy. “Why not, when it makes you this fucking wet?”
She’s soaked, dripping on my fingers already.
“Please.” This time she bends to pull her panties down, kicking them off with her feet, and leaving her in only my shirt.
“You’re so polite in the morning.” Reaching behind me, I pull a condom out of my nightstand drawer, and as quickly as possible, I drop my briefs to sheath my cock in the latex.
“You want me to fuck you like this?” I ask, pulling her back to my chest.
She lifts her leg without hesitation.
“Fuck, Miller.” Grabbing my cock, I run it over her core, coating the condom in her arousal before tapping it against her clit. “Honestly, this makes me hate your rules even more that we haven’t been doing this every morning since you got here.”