I brought that shirt of mine that you liked to wear around the house. It smells like you. Violet and amber. I sleep with it on my pillow every night. That’s not creepy, is it?
Not creepy at all. I sleep in your favorite flannel every night. I stole it the night I left. I pretend that you’re with me when I fall asleep.
At lunchtime, Mrs. Runither had walked in carrying a bag of food. She’d told me that Finn had called from Tokyo and said he knew I was working too much and that it was cold outside, and I needed mac and cheese and some cornbread. I’d fought back tears because I’d been exhausted and hungry but hadn’t stopped to go grab lunch. I swear that man knew me better than I knew myself.
Chewy
Today, I had to shoot a solo shower scene. Nothing quite like being practically nude (while covering my dick with some sort of sling, XL of course,
He sent said photo of his chiseled ass, along with a selfie of him and Tony giving me a thumbs-up. I’d printed it up and taped it right into the scrapbook.
Today was Friday, and he’d sent a photo of him and me at the London Bridge when he’d come to visit. He said it was his favorite because the time we’d spent apart that year had been the most difficult in his life, and seeing me again had been the happiest. I had a lump in my throat as I’d read his words. Being away from Finn had been horrible for me, too. I’d missed him more than anyone. The only time I’d had a breakdown about Carl was when I’d learned he was dating someone else. But I’d come to realize that it had never been about missing him. It had been more about feeling rejected.
But I’d always missed Finn when we weren’t together. It was a deep longing. An ache that could only be filled with him.
I pushed to stand because today I had my first appointment with Dr. Judy Green. She’d been my gynecologist since I’d been in my early twenties, and I’d last seen her when I’d asked to go on the pill. Today’s meeting would be very different. I locked up the office and drove the short distance over to see her.
I spent the next hour peeing in a cup, getting weighed and measured, and she even used a sonogram to show me the baby’s heartbeat. My guess was that I’d gotten pregnant the night Finn’s condom broke, as I was about two months along. She told me everything looked great, and I was healthy, and the baby was healthy, as well.
I asked for a copy of the ultrasound so I could share it with Finn when he got home. It felt strange keeping such a big secret to myself right now. But I knew if I told him what was going on, he’d be on the next plane home. It was who he was.
Why had I doubted that?
Doubted that he really loved me the way that I loved him.
I’d been unfair to him. Judging him for never having a relationship and questioning if he was capable. I’d had a relationship with one man for most of my adult life, even agreeing to marry him—only now realizing I was never happy with him.
I hadn’t known what love was.
Who was I to judge?
So, at the end of the day, it just comes down to love and finding the person that fits. The person that knows you and loves you exactly for who you are. There wasn’t one thing I would change about Finn Reynolds—aside from willing him to be here right now.
But all good things were worth the wait.
Finn had proven that he was definitely worth the wait.
twenty-nine
Finn
I’d been on set for hours, as our schedule was brutal. I had ten more days until I was home. Until I could finally kiss my girl and tell her I was all in. I’d kept up with texting her all day, every day. Sending photos of us together over the years that were saved on my phone.
Years of memories.
Years of loving this girl.
I’d just made it back to the hotel, and I opened my phone to see that she’d responded to my last text and photo, which was pretty hilarious, if I do say so myself.
This photo makes me laugh every time. Senior year, prom. You went with
Dr. Pretentious, and I took Lucy Baker. But I did all I could to photobomb every picture you two posed for.
The photo I’d sent was Carl looking like an uptight asshole, Reese laughing because she knew I was behind them, and me making a face and crossing my eyes in the background.
I’d texted her several other texts throughout the day, and I was thrilled to see that she’d responded to this last one.
Miney
Can I FaceTime you?
I wasn’t even going to respond. I was dying to see her face. This was the first time she’d asked to speak on the phone, and FaceTime would make it even better. I dialed the phone and dropped down onto the bed, leaning my back against the headboard. It was almost one o’clock in the morning here, which meant it was almost nine in the morning there. The phone connected, and I waited for her face to come into view, and there she was. The prettiest girl I’d ever laid eyes on.
My heart raced at the sight of her, and for whatever reason, I found it difficult to speak at first.
She was sitting in a stall out in the barn, hay beneath her fine ass and a braid hanging over one shoulder.
She didn’t speak either.
She just smiled, and then the tears started falling down her gorgeous face, and she just waved.
I pushed away the lump in my throat. “Hey, Miney.”
She nodded and swiped at her cheeks and then started laughing. “I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m just really happy to see you.”
“Yeah? I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s been tortured by this crazy plan of yours.”
She smiled and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “You’re not the only one.”
“Did you just go for a ride?” I asked, feeling an unexplainable peace come over me now that I was looking at her.
“Not yet. I was waiting to see if you called first.”
“You call, I come, right? Works the same way with the phone. You ask, I’ll call. Every fucking time. I’ll always show up, Reese.”
“I know you will. I was wrong to worry that you didn’t know what you wanted. I’m far from a relationship expert. I just had all these fears that you would feel obligated to me because this all started off not being real. So, I worried that once you left, you’d realize this wasn’t for you.” Pops of gold and honey danced in her green eyes as the sun shone in through the barn doors.
“I think it was always real for me, if I’m being honest. From that first time I kissed you, something shifted in me.”
“What shifted?” She smiled.
“I actually think that you insisting we take this time to figure things out was not the worst idea. It gave me a lot of time to think. And I realized that I’ve never enjoyed being with any woman the way I enjoy being with you. I’m pretty sure that the reason I never dated anyone seriously is because my heart already belonged to you. I just didn’t know it at the time. So, you dated Carl for years, and I did what I did during that time. But from the minute my lips crashed into yours, I knew I was done for, Miney. You own me. I don’t want anyone else. I don’t think about anyone else. And it doesn’t matter if I’m thousands of miles away or in bed beside you. You are all that I want.”
She nodded as the tears fell, running down her cheeks.
“You are all that I want, too.”
“Are you sure about that? Do you want to tell me why you didn’t mention that you were meeting with Carl? Is there something going on there that I should know about?”