“That’s not true. I want what’s going to look nice, what’s going to represent the family, and a day we can remember forever.”
“It’s not always about image,” I say as I move past him.
“Why do you keep arguing about this? You’re getting your way with things. Why are you making a big deal about it?”
“Because if this was what I wanted, we wouldn’t be having it at the club, we wouldn’t be inviting people I don’t know, and I wouldn’t be changing into three dresses.”
“But it’s not all about you, Lia. You might be the bride, but I’m the groom, and there has to be pieces of me in the wedding planning as well. My mother knows what that is.”
“Well, maybe if you talked to me about what you wanted, I could help pick those things out.”
He blows out a heavy breath. “You’re creating a fight over nothing. Like I said, something has gotten in your head, and you’re trying to find any excuse not to . . . not to go through with this. And if that’s the case, Lia, just tell me now. I don’t want to get to our wedding day and have you run out on me because you finally found the courage to do so.”
“Brian, I’m not trying to get out of this,” I say, feeling defeated. “I’m just trying to get you to understand where I’m coming from. I want us to be okay. I want you to be on my side. To want me. To not think I’m going through some sort of crisis because I changed my hair. I mean . . . are you going to judge me when I walk down the aisle? Are you going to think my dress is ugly? Is that something I should worry about?”
“No, my mother sent me a picture. It’s a pretty dress.”
I pause and tilt my head to the side. “Your mother . . . sent you a picture of my dress?”
“Yes, she wanted to make sure I approved.”
“That’s not . . . that’s not something you need to approve. That’s my decision.”
“Do you hear yourself?” he asks. “You’re being so selfish. This wedding isn’t just about you, Lia.”
“I didn’t say it was,” I yell. “God, you’re so infuriating. I’m so glad you freaking came here to fix things. Good job.” I move toward the kitchen and grab myself a sparkling water.
“Does any of this have to do with Breaker?”
I pause, the hairs on the back of my neck spring to attention, and I feel my inner rage spike to DEFCON 1 levels.
“I swear to God, Brian,” I say as I spin on my heel. “Bring him up one more time, and I will end this engagement, this wedding, and this relationship. This has nothing to do with him and everything to do with us and our disconnect.”
“I don’t feel a disconnect.”
“Because you’re not here,” I shout. “You’re so blind, so clueless. I mean, hell, I’m offering to put your dick in my mouth, and you can’t even fathom the idea. You should want your dick in my mouth.”
“You want to suck me off?” he yells. He sits down on the couch and leans back. “Fine, Lia. Suck me off.”
“You’re such an asshole,” I say as I walk back to the bedroom.
BREAKER
“I don’t feel very good,” I say as JP and Huxley walk me to my apartment.
“Because you had three shots of Scotch in ten minutes, realized your mistake, tried to counteract with buttery croissants and water, and now your stomach has no idea what to do with itself,” JP says.
“If you puke on my shoes, I’ll murder you,” Huxley says.
“Why did I have to come home? I don’t want to hear her having sex.” I rest my head on Huxley’s shoulder. “I bet she’s a sweet moaner.”
“Can you not speak so closely to my face?”
“I bet she has the best-tasting pussy ever, like . . . a fresh field of flowers.”
“When was the last time you ate pussy?” JP asks as we reach my door. Huxley unlocks it and lets us in.
“I can’t remember, but I bet you hers is fantastic.”
“Just dump him on his couch,” Huxley says.
“No, my bedroom. I want to smell the pillow she used the other night. It smells like her. I want to clutch it.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more embarrassing display of a man,” JP says. “If only Kelsey didn’t take my phone away so I couldn’t record anything.”
“Kelsey is an angel sent from the heavens above,” I say while clutching JP. “And Lottie, well, she’s funny, and I like that she busts your balls all the time, Huxley. I’ve never seen a woman put you in your place like her. God, the way you grovel around her, talk about embarrassing. But that’s what I’d do with Lia, I would worship the ground she walks on.”
“That’s great,” Huxley says as he pushes me back on my bed. I tumble onto it with a plop.
I hold my feet up and say, “Shoes. Please take off my shoes.”
Huxley points at me, then JP, and says, “Go ahead, remove the shoes.”
“Why don’t you remove the shoes?”
“Because I’m the older brother, which automatically puts me in the managerial role.”
“Are you saying you’ll manage how I take off his shoes?”
“Yeah, now take them off.”
“How about you both take one off?” I say, wiggling my feet. “I could also use some more water. And maybe a bucket. I don’t want to puke on the floor, and I have a good feeling that might happen.”
JP turns to Huxley and says, “Shoes or puke pail and water?”
He groans and walks off toward the kitchen.
“He’s such a grumble gus, isn’t he?” I ask.
“I hate you right now, you know that? You interrupted my entire Sunday. Kelsey was supposed to spend the day naked in the house, and now I’ve had to drag your sorry carcass around and take off your goddamn shoes.”
“And socks.”
He slips off my shoes, followed by my socks, just as Huxley comes into the bedroom with water and a puke pail.
“Wow, you two are true heroes. The best brothers a guy could ask for.” I spread my arms wide on my bed. “Come give me a hug.”
“And risk you puking all over us? No, thank you,” says JP.
Huxley pulls on the back of his neck, observing me. “Do you think we need to stay with him?”
“He’s not that drunk, just stupid drunk. He’ll sleep it off and be fine.”
“I can tell there’s a headache in my future.” I pause and then sit up. “Wait . . . did I donate to the pigeons?”
JP shakes his head. “I tried to get you to, but Kelsey stopped me.”
“Thank fuck for that angel of yours.” I let out a large sigh, then grab the pillow Lia used, pulling it into my chest, where I give it a large squeeze. “Fuck, she smells so good. Like a field of flowers.”
“I thought that’s what her pussy tasted like,” JP says. “You need to work on your descriptors.”
“She’s just flowers everywhere. One giant flower.” I moan out her name. “Oh, Ophelia.”
“Okay, shit’s getting weird,” JP says, taking a step back. “I think we have the right to vacate the premises.”
“Yeah, I think you’re right.” Huxley pats my foot. “Call us if you need anything.”
“I need you to break up the wedding. Thank you, and have a good day.”
“Yeah, we’ll get right on that,” JP says as they both walk away.
“Angels, all of you are angels.” And then I pass out into my pillow.
LIA