Breaker: Yes, but you’ll be married soon. I can’t keep coming over on our set nights. This is a good change, Lia.
Lia: Wait . . . did you make plans on purpose? To guide me into some sort of transition?
Breaker: I forgot how smart you are.
Lia: Uh, I don’t need you transitioning me. I’m a big girl, Breaker.
Breaker: Okay, so then go be with your fiancé. Talk about your wedding, make sure he knows what’s happening with it.
Lia: Why does it feel like you’re distancing yourself?
Breaker: I’m not, Lia. I’m just trying to prepare you. Once you get married, everything changes.
Lia: You say that as if it’s a punishment.
Breaker: It’s not, but the fact of the matter is, I can’t be there for you like I am now. I can’t be your companion, and you can’t be mine, simple as that.
Lia: Companion? Where is all of this coming from?
Breaker: Nowhere, it’s just facts. That’s what’s happening with our lives—we’re evolving, changing, and this is just the next step. Now I have to go. See you on Friday.
I stare at my phone, reading over our texts repeatedly, trying to figure out what’s happening. Sure, I’m getting married and will soon be living with my husband, but that doesn’t mean I need to cut ties with Breaker or stop interacting with him. Hell, he’s seen Birdy, someone he barely knows, more times this week than me.
And that makes me sad. All of this makes me sad. And the one person I would talk to about it just said he would see me on Friday.
Tears well in my eyes just as a knock sounds on my door.
I sit up from my bed, hopeful that it’s Breaker and that his texts are all just a ruse. I quickly wipe under my eyes, run to the entryway, and throw open the door, where I find Brian on the other side, holding a bouquet of roses and wearing a large smile.
“Hello, sweetheart,” he says, and I swear light sparkles off his freshly whitened teeth. “Thought I’d surprise you with some flowers and . . .”—he picks up an overnight bag—“a sleepover.”
“Oh, wow,” I say, trying to make my voice sound excited, not disappointed. “I was, uh . . . I was not expecting that.”
“Yeah, neither was I.” He hands me the flowers. Red roses, which I despise due to how cliché and unoriginal they are. Something I thought Brian knew. “It was actually Breaker’s idea.” Ah . . . what? “He also told me to pick up Sour Patch Kids and Sprite, so that’s in the bag as well. Not sure why, but he said it’s what you guys need while playing Password.”
“Breaker told you to do all this?”
“Well, the flowers were my idea, but game night was his. Said since he won’t be around as much, I should learn the things you love.” Brian leans in and gives me a kiss on the cheek. He pushes past me into my apartment as I stand there stunned.
Breaker set this up?
He wants Brian to learn all the things I love?
Why is he doing this? Why is he trying to extract me from his life?
I’m sure he’s probably doing this to be nice, but it’s hurtful.
And no way am I going to be able to enjoy this night unless I get to the bottom of it.
So taking a chance, I say, “Uh, Brian, I need to make an important business call. I’m going to run over to Breaker’s so I don’t bother you.”
“Oh, I can be quiet if you want.”
I shake my head. “Trust me, these walls are paper thin. You could hear everything. Just make yourself comfortable, and I’ll be back shortly.”
“Okay. Love you.”
I smile at him. “Love you.”
Phone in hand, I slip out of my apartment and go straight to Breaker’s. There is a very slim chance that he’s there, but at least I can try, and if he’s not, I can call him from his apartment.
I knock on the door gently and then give it a few moments before checking the door, it’s unlocked. I push through just as Breaker approaches the entryway.
“Lia, everything okay?”
I shut the door behind me and fold my arms at my chest. “No, everything is not okay.”
“Okay . . .” he drags out. “Well, I was just headed out—”
“Really? You’re not going to ask me what’s wrong?”
“I have a feeling I know,” he says as he moves back toward his guest room, and I follow him. It’s the one room the farthest away from my apartment. We’ve fought in here before while Brian was in my apartment, and there’s no doubt that’s what he’s thinking now. He takes a seat on the guest bed and says, “What’s going on?”
“What’s going on?” I say in a hushed but forceful tone. “How about you tell me what’s going on, because last I checked, you’re pawning our traditions off onto Brian.”
“I’m not pawning them off. I’m including him.”
“I don’t need you to include him. I do my own things with Brian. What I need you to do is stop pushing me away.”
“I literally saw you yesterday. How is that pushing you away?”
“You saw me for wedding things. You’re pushing me away from our normal stuff.”
He glances away, yet I can see he wants to say something. Something is on the tip of his tongue, but he’s holding back.
“Just say it,” I push.
He bows his head and shakes it.
“So is this how it’s going to be, Breaker? I’m engaged to be married, and now you won’t even tell me what you’re thinking?”
“I can’t tell you what I’m thinking.”
“Why not?” I ask.
“Because it’s about you,” he whisper-shouts.
I take a step back, trying to understand why he seems so jittery, so irritated.
“Well, if it’s about me, then just tell me. Clearly, it’s something you need to get off your chest.”
“Fine,” he says, and then his eyes meet mine. “You want to talk? We can talk. We’ve relied on each other too much, and I realized today that I’m not in a relationship because of you.”
“Excuse me?” I ask. “Uh, care to explain how that’s my fault?”
“Because you became my safety net. Why do I need a companion when I have you to fall back on?”
“So basically, because I was being a good friend, you’re mad at me and trying to extract me from your life?”
“No.” He tugs on his hair in frustration. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what exactly are you saying, Breaker? Because it seems to me like you’re having some sort of relationship crisis because I’m getting married, and now you’re desperate to find someone, and the one person you have been seeing isn’t exactly what you were looking for. Therefore, you’re blaming me for all of it.”
“Wow.” He stands up now, his height towering over me. “That’s not what I was fucking saying. Way to twist my words.”
I throw my hands up in defeat. “Then what are you saying?”
“We’re just . . . we’re too close.”
“Too close?” I nod sarcastically. “Okay, so the friendship we’ve built over the last decade is too good. That’s the problem?” I step away. “Okay, good to know. I’m sorry for caring about you so much and being a part of your life to the point that I’ve actually hurt you.”