A Fire in the Flesh (Flesh and Fire, #3)

My heart twisted as my gaze tracked over the scar. The ones I couldn’t see were likely far deeper. Godsdamn, my heart hurt. “I’m sorry.”

“So am I.” He closed his eyes. “Is that a good enough reason for you?”

Clearing my throat, I blinked back tears. “Yes.”

The eather in his eyes had slowed when he reopened them. “I’ve never stood with Kolis. Not truly.”

“Then I have a question for you.” Anger returned to my voice. “Has it never occurred to you to share this with Nyktos?”

“Why would I do that?” he countered. “I’ve never known where Nyktos really stands when it comes to Kolis.”

My brows shot up. “Are you kidding? He hates—”

“Hating someone doesn’t mean you will cease serving them, especially if doing so benefits you,” he cut in. “Confiding in him without knowing his true thoughts and intentions was a risk to my Court and everyone who relies on me.”

Indignation rose. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “He never would’ve turned you over to Kolis.”

“You think that?”

I met his stare. “I know that.”

Attes laughed softly. “You have no idea what any of us has done or what we are capable of if backed into a corner. And that includes Nyktos.”

I started to argue, but thought about that one decent bone Ash claimed to have that belonged to me and only me. I knew he had far more goodness in him than that. What he did for the Chosen he could save, the young Pax, who he’d rescued from the streets, and countless others were proof of that. But there was a cool ruthlessness to Ash. I’d seen it.

“There used to be a time when we trusted one another,” Attes said, his voice taking on a distant quality. “When we Primals worked together for the betterment of Iliseeum and the mortal realm. That time has long since passed. And while Nyktos’s dislike of Kolis was clear to anyone who remotely paid attention, he was still loyal when it came down to it.”

“He did what he could to make a stand against Kolis,” I hissed. “But he had no choice but to serve him.”

“Exactly.” Attes threw up his hands in frustration. “None of us has had much of a choice, Seraphena.”

I looked away. His reasons for not confiding in Ash were valid…and yet not good enough for me. “So, what’s different now?”

“You,” he said. My fingers pressed into my arms. “You are the reason things are different now.”

“Because of the embers?”

“Because within you resides the only one who can kill Kolis. The one who can end this. And everything must be done to protect her.”

Tension poured into my body, causing the embers to hum. I shouldn’t be surprised to hear concern for literally anything but me. Usually, it was my duty or the embers. It was never me.

Until Ash.

A sharp slice of pain hit my chest, but I breathed through it, focusing on what Attes had said. Or rather what he hadn’t. “You mean I am the only one who can stop Kolis.”

“No, Seraphena,” he said, his tone heavy. “I do not.”

My body flashed cold as I stared at Attes. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that Eythos’s plan didn’t work as he intended. And, yeah, I didn’t think it would work at all in the first place, but that is neither here nor there.” His shoulders rose with a heavy breath. “Let me ask you something. Are you and Sotoria one and the same?”

A great sense of foreboding seized me. “Why are you asking that?”

“Because I know.” His voice dropped. “I know you’re not her. Not really.”

My heart lurched as his features blurred in a hazy fog of disbelief.

“There’s an uncanny resemblance between you and Sotoria. So much so that I don’t know how Kolis didn’t see it immediately. I don’t think he could let himself,” he continued, almost cautiously, his words low and measured. “But if you were Sotoria reborn, you would look just like her. You don’t. And you would not have been able to speak as her like you did.”

A wave of shock swept through me as my arms uncrossed, falling to my sides. Attes was possibly the first person to say that and sound like he believed it. I couldn’t even say for sure if Ash truly accepted I wasn’t Sotoria. I didn’t think it mattered because I was always Sera to him.

But I thought of what Ash had said about the Primal Keella during the coronation. Keella could follow the souls of those she captured who were reborn. Ash had not believed that Sotoria was reborn—no, that wasn’t what he had said exactly. He’d only said that he hadn’t been sure if Keella could follow Sotoria’s soul because her return hadn’t been a rebirth.

“You know what I’m saying is true. You don’t want to confirm it. I get it. You know that Kolis believing you are Sotoria is the only thing keeping you alive, and the embers of the Primal of Life safe. That’s smart.” Attes crossed the cage. “But there is no point in lying to me, Seraphena. I know Eythos’s plan did not work as he intended.”

I stood rigidly, my thoughts racing. Even knowing what had caused Attes’s scar, wariness still invaded all my senses. I shifted from foot to foot, glancing at the closed doors. I knew I had to make a choice. Trust Attes, or not. If I did and was wrong, I would die, and Kolis would have the embers. But I didn’t… I didn’t think he was here spying on Kolis’s behalf. That just didn’t make sense when he’d apparently covered for me and stopped Kolis when he attempted to take the embers.

I took a deep breath, knowing I wasn’t risking only my life. “Is there a difference between rebirth and being reborn?”

“The phrases are often used interchangeably, along with reincarnation, but a rebirth usually involves the souls of those who have not truly lived,” he said, referencing the babes Ash had spoken of. “Those who are reincarnated may have memories or even dreams of who they once were, and that’s as rare as the act itself, and is usually reserved for viktors.”

“And being reborn is like starting over,” I murmured. “Having no memory of who you once were.” I glanced up at him. “So, having a soul placed alongside another is…?”

“I have no clue,” he admitted with a biting laugh. “It’s not supposed to happen. But it could be the result of what Eythos tried to do—something impossible. Or the Arae intervened.”

I thought back to what Attes had said about the Fates. “But you said the Arae ensured Eythos’s silence, as well as yours, as a way to balance what Eythos did.”

“Yes. But I never said it was the only thing they did,” he countered. “I don’t know why they did this. Then again, one of them put the idea of taking embers from another in Kolis’s head to begin with, and who really knows why anyone would share that knowledge?”

He had a point there. Delfai, the God of Divination Ash and I had spoken to, had said the same.

I shook my head. “What is the point of this? Sotoria’s soul is in me. Does that not make me her for all intents and purposes?”

“A soul is nothing like embers, Seraphena. Two should never be in one.”

A great sense of unease rose. “And what happens if there are?”

“It means that Sotoria’s soul is…”

I watched him look away as he shoved a hand through his hair.

“She’s trapped in me?” I asked.