He leaned close, his breath warm on my ear. I shivered, glancing at Pelopia, who was frowning at me from across the room.
“You talk about saving the hybrids in the dungeon beneath us, but you’re still that scared little girl who is waiting to wake up from a nightmare. You better find a way to stop running away from your fate, because the kinds of people who refuse to accept the realities of their lives are not the same people who free the helpless and enslaved.”
Numbness swept through my body. I stared at Lorian for a long moment. Something flickered in his eyes, but I was already turning away, stalking toward the door.
I was done with this night.
I sucked in a deep breath of fresh air when I reached the hall. My shoes echoed on the stone, the space empty, with everyone either watching or partaking in the dancing.
A huge hand came down on my shoulder. Lorian spun me, pressing me up against the wall.
I glanced down the corridor. This would draw attention from anyone who happened to walk past. “What are you doing?”
He frowned down at me. Something that might have been concern flickered in his eyes. “Why are you so upset?”
I threw my hands in the air. “You just called me a scared little girl.”
“And you’ve called me worse.” He leaned even closer, studying my face.
I shoved his chest. “Are you crazy? Someone will see.” The last thing either of us needed was the court gossiping about us. Gossip would make people look closer.
Lorian sighed. My head spun as he opened the closest door and shoved me inside.
I snarled. “This is going to surprise you, so prepare yourself—Not everything is your business.”
“Everything that concerns you is my business. This is not a game.” His words were flat, but his eyes blazed into mine.
My laugh was so bitter I barely recognized it. “No one knows that more than me!”
He studied my face for a long, uncomfortable moment.
“Ah.”
“Ah?”
“The village boy means something to you.”
The air between us grew dangerously hot. I swallowed. “Like I said, none of your business.”
“Did he tell you pretty lies?” Lorian asked softly. “Oh no. You would have told him pretty lies. Because you were never going to stay in that village and have his babies. No matter how much you wanted to. No matter how much you ignored reality and pretended you wouldn’t be burned alive for having the audacity to keep what was yours.”
Something sharp was stabbing into my stomach. “Stop.”
He leaned close. “When you’re crying into your pillow tonight, remember one thing. It would never have worked between you two.”
Sorrow stole the air from my lungs. Rage gave it back. I shoved at Lorian’s chest. Predictably, he caught my hands. “You know nothing.”
“I know that. You wanted him because he was handsome, but most importantly, he was safe. You weren’t meant for a life of safety. A life of kisses on your cheek and mediocre fucking. A life of gossiping with villagers.”
My cheeks burned. “Those villagers are good people.”
“Those villagers would have watched you burn, and you know it.”
I flinched. Lorian cursed and released my hands.
Then his mouth was on mine, and I could taste his frustration and fury. The air left my lungs, but breathing was secondary to the feel of him hard and enraged against me.
“Your Thol would never have given you this,” he whispered against my mouth. “And you know that too.” He took a step back. “Until you face up to the reality of your life, you will forever be a victim to it.”
Then he was stalking out of the room. He didn’t look back.
I hated him.
Making my way back to my chambers, I threw myself onto my bed. But I didn’t cry.
I was too angry.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
I was in a black mood the next morning when Erea and Daselis woke me. As usual, so was Daselis, while Erea beamed at me. The maids bustled around, opening curtains and murmuring to each other.
I swung my legs out of bed, and my gaze caught on the new necklace next to the fresh valeo on my nightstand. I smiled. Vicer had come through, and Tibris had likely helped. How had they managed to smuggle this in while I was sleeping, though? These days, I woke easily and often.
I picked up the necklace and almost choked on my next breath. Unlike the cheap trinket currently around my neck, this necklace was…gorgeous.
The chain was so fine, I fumbled with it when I attempted to put it on. Swinging my legs out of bed, I made my way to my long mirror and studied the gem.
The center stone was the same brown-gold as my real eyes, only it gleamed in the light. The stones surrounding it would be fake, but they glimmered like real diamonds.
Obviously, Vicer felt bad about how close I’d come to walking around with no charm at all. Either that, or my brother had terrified him.
As a maid, wearing this necklace would have drawn too much attention. As one of the queen’s ladies, I was expected to wear jewels. Something Madinia had reminded me of just a few nights ago.
“Telean will be here soon.” Erea smiled at me as she turned from tying back the heavy curtains. “You’ll see to the queen later.”
My blood froze. The seamstress was coming back? Was this a trick? Maybe she was really returning with the king’s guards.
Daselis emerged from the bathing room. “In,” she said.
“You look tired,” Erea murmured. “Bad sleep?”
My mind had refused to allow me to rest. Instead, it had helpfully provided me with images of Caraceli’s hate-filled eyes, Thol’s handsome face, and Lorian snarling down at me. Not to mention the fear that, at any point, Telean could tell others just what she’d noticed about my eyes.
“It wasn’t the best.”
“Must be difficult sleeping in such a large bed in such a warm room,” Daselis muttered.
I sighed and walked into the bathing room. Behind me, Erea and Daselis had a hissed conversation.
Erea slipped into the room and chatted to me, likely attempting to make up for Daselis’s grim mood. I nodded occasionally, although she didn’t seem to require a response. My attention was caught when she discussed Lorian.
“I heard Prince Rekja has gone hunting with the king today. He’s so handsome,” she sighed.
I stored that information away. It was always a good idea to know what Lorian was up to.
“Bathe quickly,” Daselis muttered when she leaned her head in.
“I will.”
Erea left me to finish, and I ran the stone she’d given me over my legs. It somehow removed the hair, making my legs smooth. Although it couldn’t remove the scars and bruises that decorated my shins.
My finger brushed against the scar on my knee, and Thol’s face flashed in my mind. Asinia still teased me about the day Thol had been training with Tibris. And Thol had taken off his shirt.
I’d been just eighteen winters at the time, walking past the clearing where the boys trained.