"Jesus, Addi—"
"Don't stop," she whispered and moved tentatively against him. The pain was forgotten as she was overcome with an intense new pleasure. Hard against soft. The sense of being stretched and filled. By Randall. She moved, awed and amazed by what was happening, relieved when she finally felt him relax. In response, she wrapped her legs around his hips and let him take her to a place she'd never been.
Randall took her to the top of a precipice she hadn't known existed. Together, they ventured higher and higher, oblivious to the dangers abounding, until they reached the crest and realized it was what they'd been searching for their entire lives.
Chapter 13
"Why didn’t you tell me?” Randall stared at the ceiling, his face profiled against the fire as they lay side by side on the rug.
Nestled against him, Addison pulled away just enough to see his face and tried to gauge his thoughts, telling herself it was only her imagination that he looked angry.
When she didn't answer, he propped himself on an elbow and turned to her. "Why didn't you tell me you'd never ... done this before?"
There were a hundred different answers running through her mind but none of them seemed adequate. How could she explain that her virginity had made her feel as if she hadn't been attractive enough or outgoing enough or exciting enough to attract the amorous attention of the opposite sex? Was there something wrong with her because she'd never been in love before?
"I didn't want it to matter," she said finally.
He stared at her, his face set and slightly angry. It was obvious he didn't understand, but she didn't feel as if she could explain something so personal any better than she already had.
"It does matter, dammit. I could have hurt you ...." His words trailed. "I mean, I did hurt you."
"You didn't hurt me."
"I could have made it special for you."
The anger came quick and biting. "It was special. At least it was for me." Hurt, feeling like a fool, she started to rise.
He stopped her. "That isn't what I meant."
When she tried to turn away, he reached out and gently touched her bare shoulder. She glared at him, amazed at how quickly she could go from emblazoned with passion to feeling like a wounded soul. Good Lord, was it possible she was falling for him? Was he going to finish the job of turning her tidy life upside down?
"I'm not going to allow you to make me feel like some kind of ... aberration just because I didn't screw around in college."
"Aberration?" He laughed outright. "Whoa."
When she started to protest, he put his finger against her lips. "You gave me a big part of yourself. I'm trying to tell you that had I known, I would have ... taken things a bit more slowly."
She let him struggle through what he needed to say, mostly because she needed to hear it. Slowly, she relaxed against him and decided to give up on the idea of walking back to Denver tonight.
"Sex just never happened for me," she began. "My parents were in their mid-forties when they adopted me. My mother had unexplained infertility and, back then, she was simply told that she would never bear children." She paused for a moment, trying to imagine what it had been like for them to bring home a new baby after so many years of trying to conceive.
"Thanks to them, I grew up mature. I kept my nose to the grindstone throughout high school. During college, while the other kids were floating kegs and checking out Extasy and cocaine and marijuana, I was already focused on getting my own business. I didn't really even start dating until my fourth year in college." She laughed. "And then there was this stockbroker ..."
His eyes narrowed. "Stockbroker?"
She laughed, enjoying the way he'd come to attention. "You know, Talbot, there may just be hope for you after all."
"I'd be happy to break his legs for you."
"I hate to spoil that-damsel-in-distress image you have of me, but I really do know how to take care of myself."
Reaching out, Randall swept a stray hair away from her forehead. "I'm impressed."
"The fact of the matter is that I never met anyone I wanted to make love with." Until I met you, a little voice added. She looked at him, realizing with some embarrassment that he was staring at her with an odd combination of fascination and respect.
He moved his hand to the side of her face. "I hope this doesn't sound too corny for you, but I'm honored to be the first."
"I've always wondered why everyone makes such a big deal about ... sex."
He arched a brow, but Addison didn't miss the quick flash of uncertainty in his eyes.
She chuckled, charmed and embarrassed and all too aware that her heart was bouncing around in her chest like a Ping Pong ball. "Now I understand why," she said and kissed him.
*