Emma’s lips parted. She pulled back, cupping his face in her fingers. “I love you, too,” she whispered. It was all she’d ever wanted—to be loved, to find someone who understood her. To find someone she could share everything with.
They stepped into deeper water. Emma wrapped her legs around Ethan’s waist, and he held her up, carrying her toward the source of the spring, where the water was warmest. She kissed him playfully—his neck, his shoulders, his mouth. His hand traced along the back of her head, moving restlessly in her hair, then drifted downward to find the knot tying her bikini behind her neck. He fumbled with it for a moment before she realized what he was doing.
“Wait,” she gasped, catching her breath. She put a hand on his chest. Suddenly she felt exposed, and nervous.
Ethan bit his lip. “Sorry,” he said, looking ashamed. He pulled his hands away from her. She stroked a damp curl out of his eyes.
“Ethan, I just mean … I want to, but not now. It’s too public.”
His eyes darted around the clearing, studying the rocks, the surface of the water—anything but her face. “Too public for … what?” he asked shyly. “What I mean is … do you want to … are you thinking of … I would love to—”
“Yes,” Emma interrupted him. “I would love to, too.” She’d been imagining her first time with Ethan ever since they started dating, though she hadn’t been brave enough to confess it until now. She hadn’t known if she was ready either. But now, knowing that he loved her, knowing that she loved him, she was suddenly sure.
“I want to share that with you,” she went on. “I’ve never … never done that before.”
“Neither have I,” Ethan said. He cupped her chin in his hand, and she looked up into his eyes. “When the time is right, it’ll be special for both of us.”
They kissed a little more after that, but slower, without the same frenzy. Between the warmth of the water and the feeling of Ethan’s embrace, Emma had completely relaxed. Overhead, stars shimmered in the clear desert sky. A chorus of crickets serenaded them from the nearby tree branches. This was a perfect idea, Emma thought. To let go of her fear for a few minutes, to forget about all of the heartbreak and fury and terror that Becky brought with her. What would she have done if she hadn’t been able to share any of that with Ethan?
But as much as I hoped that Ethan could protect my sister, I was far from certain. Becky was unpredictable and dangerous—and she was out there somewhere in the darkness. If she had tried to run down Thayer that night in the canyon, would she try to get rid of Ethan, too?
23
HELP FROM AN UNEXPECTED SOURCE
Ethan’s house was dark when Emma dropped him off. Some of the other homes on the block already had their Christmas lights out, the red, green, and white glowing colorfully against the adobe walls even though it wasn’t even Thanksgiving yet. One family had a herd of fake reindeer on their lawn, complete with a red-nosed Rudolph and a sleigh full of poinsettias. But Ethan’s bungalow was undecorated, even neglected. Paint flaked off the siding, and the porch had one rotten step Emma almost always forgot about. It creaked ominously under her feet.
“When can I see you again?” Ethan asked, his arms coiled around her waist.
“Tomorrow at school?” she teased. He kissed her on the nose playfully.
“Saturday?” he asked, hopeful. “We could rent a movie, or just look at the stars …” Emma smiled. That’s how they had met—Emma caught him stargazing while she was at Nisha’s party, the first night she was pretending to be Sutton.
“We have Charlotte’s party, remember?” she said. He wrinkled his nose a little, and Emma laughed. “Come on, Mr. Wallflower, don’t make me face it alone.” Ethan had never been big on parties, but she’d been hoping that getting to know Sutton’s friends better would warm him up to the idea.
“For you, anything,” he whispered. He gave her another lingering kiss, and then slipped through the door. She heard the lock snap shut behind him.
Across the street, the Catalina Mountains loomed. She couldn’t see it in the dark, but the entrance to the Sabino Canyon recreation area was in sight of Ethan’s porch. Just the thought of it made her skin crawl. It was where she’d waited for Sutton when she’d first come to Tucson, full of anticipation. It was also where her sister had spent the last night of her life. She shivered, feeling as if the canyon itself were watching her, a dark and malevolent presence. She didn’t believe in ghosts, but something about the area felt menacing. Maybe Becky was out there.
The sound of footsteps interrupted Emma’s thoughts. She froze, her hand on her car door. Just as she was getting ready to jump in and slam the locks down, Nisha stepped into the light. She was dressed in Hollier High sweatpants and a tank top that showed off her muscular shoulders. Her hair glinted almost purple in the darkness. She wore a pair of tortoiseshell Guess eyeglasses and no makeup. It looked as if she’d been getting ready for bed.