He hugged her tightly. “I’m so sorry.” Then he turned to Dr. Banerjee. “What could have triggered this? Sutton? Something else?”
Dr. Banerjee twisted his mouth awkwardly. “Well, I cannot violate doctor-patient confidentiality, but sometimes patients like Becky are at their most high risk just after making an important breakthrough. We have made excellent progress in our sessions in a short amount of time. She seems to be carrying a lot of guilt for something she deeply regrets. I believe Ms. Mercer might have brought on some of that extreme emotional distress by her visit tonight.”
“Guilt?” Mr. Mercer frowned. “For what?”
Dr. Banerjee shook his head. “That I can’t tell you. I’m sorry, Ted.”
“But you’re saying she was doing better? That she was making some kind of progress?” Mr. Mercer seemed confused. “Then why would she … escape? It doesn’t make any sense.”
“I did this,” Emma said, her voice barely above a whisper. Both men looked at her. She looked down at her lap so she wouldn’t have to meet their eyes. “I made her angry. I set her off.”
Dr. Banerjee frowned. “Ms. Mercer, this is not your fault. Your mother is a sick woman. Her behavior is not normal. To be honest, I’m the one who failed. I shouldn’t have allowed her to see visitors who I thought might distress her.”
“He’s right, Sutton,” Mr. Mercer said. “I should never have encouraged you to come see her. She was here because she attacked someone—she’s obviously unstable.”
Emma appreciated their comforting words, but she knew they weren’t the truth. They didn’t know the whole story. They hadn’t seen the expression on Becky’s face when she mentioned the canyon.
More of Becky’s words haunted me: I’ve been watching you. And now she was watching Emma. Watching her be me.
Mr. Mercer took Emma’s arm and helped her stand. “Thank you, Sanjay. I think I need to get my daughter home now. She’s had a rough day.”
“Of course.” Dr. Banerjee looked from Emma to her grandfather. “I don’t wish to scare you, but I feel I should warn you. Becky is in a very precarious position right now. If we don’t locate her soon, she may find her way to you, and I can’t promise what condition she’ll be in.”
“You have to find her,” Emma said. The thought of Becky loose, wandering the streets alone, coming for her, made her tremble.
“Don’t worry, we will,” Dr. Banerjee assured her. “But Sutton, please don’t blame yourself. Often, for those with such severe isolation and mental disturbance, the ones they lash out at are the ones they love the most.”
Emma didn’t know what to say. Love? Love couldn’t be a part of this. Becky hadn’t looked at her lovingly. She’d looked as though she’d seen a ghost.
And maybe she had, I thought.
21
CALM IN THE STORM
Mr. Mercer walked Emma to her car in silence. Dusk had fallen while she was in the hospital, the last of the day’s sunlight playing across the distant mountains. The parking lot was half empty under the yellow light of the streetlamps, but police cars surrounded the perimeter. A news van rolled up and reporters jumped out. Emma could just imagine the headline: Crazy Woman Escapes from Hospital, Threatens Pedestrians with Syringe. What sort of hospital allowed a madwoman to just walk out?
“Should I drive you home?” Mr. Mercer asked as Sutton’s Volvo came into view. “You could leave the car here overnight.”
Emma shook her head. “It’s okay. I’ll follow you.”
Mr. Mercer nodded, pressing the keyfob to his SUV. Two short bleeps rang out through the darkness. “I never thought she’d try to hurt you,” he said in a low voice.
“I know.” She didn’t blame Mr. Mercer for what Becky had done. He had just wanted what was best for Becky, and for Sutton, too. He’d probably had fantasies of his own about his daughter and granddaughter reuniting; of Becky finally coming home, healthy and happy and ready to be part of the family again. He’d been blinded to just how dangerous Becky really was. But he wasn’t the only one who’d been misled.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen now,” Mr. Mercer said, frowning. “Becky’s unpredictable. She might skip town again. But Sutton, if you see her, if you even think you see her, tell me right away. All right?”
“Of course.” She clutched her car keys so tightly they dug into her palm.