So why did she think Kay Todd was different?
Maybe it was the ferocity of the woman, the way she had acted when Diana grabbed her arm. She would have burned Diana if she had to. Diana had dealt with violent, desperate people on the job, knew the look of someone backed into a corner and willing to fight because they had nothing left to lose. That's what Kay Todd looked like in the Courthouse Diner.
Diana needed help. She needed another set of eyes to look at the situation and offer an opinion. She checked the email account associated with her sister's website. Nothing. She logged off and stood up, began to pull underwear, bra and socks out of her drawer. She didn't know many people in New Cambridge, and those she did know were all on the police force. Most people would see that as a good thing given the circumstances, but Diana wasn't so sure. She hadn't been back there since she quit, hadn't talked to most of them since she turned in her badge and uniform. She didn't like going back to places she had already left, didn't like the feeling of covering ground that had already receded into the past.
She pulled on a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved white T-shirt. While she laced her sneakers, she thought about who she might see and what it would be like. She stood up from the side of the bed, but didn't leave the room. Her shoulders slumped a little.
Who are you kidding?
She knew there was only one person she didn't want to see.
And she knew he was the person she had to start with.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Diana parked in a visitor's space behind the boxy, limestone building that housed the New Cambridge Police Department. She could have walked, since the station sat only six blocks north of her apartment, but thinking about walking up to the building and then having to flee on foot made Diana feel exposed. The car provided a certain amount of cover, as well as the ability to make a fast getaway. And there was something else, too, something that lurked beneath the surface and made her feel even more uneasy. Diana didn't feel comfortable walking the streets of New Cambridge the way she would have in the past. Her night of bad dreams as well as the visit from Kay Todd had conspired to make New Cambridge seem like a slightly alien, slightly unsafe place all of a sudden, as though the town had been tipped on its axis a few degrees, and nothing really seemed the same.
She saw when she pulled in that Captain Berding's car was in its assigned spot, which meant he was in the office. Diana sat in her car for a long moment without turning the ignition off. She knew she could still just back away and leave. She had meant to spend the day looking for a new job and exploring the possibility of returning to school part-time for the spring semester. She knew she could fill her days with any manner of small chores, the kinds of things that everyone else did in the process of constructing what they called their lives. Why did she have this compulsion to make hers about something more?
Oh, grow up, she thought. It was only sex.
At least, that's what he thought of it.
She turned the car off, took a deep breath like someone about to jump into a deep pool of water, and climbed out.
Diana went in the back entrance, the one used mostly by employees, and the one that afforded the most direct access to the Captain's office. Once inside, she was greeted by the familiar sounds of the station, the clattering of keyboards, the ringing of phones. She recognized the odor of the endlessly brewing coffee and the cheap floor polish the cleaning crew applied at night. Diana reached up and rapped lightly on the open door.
"Yeah?" Dan said, then he looked up through the reading glasses perched on the end of his nose. "Oh. Diana."
"Got a minute?"
He took the glasses off. "Is something wrong?"
"No. I just needed to ask you about something." Diana felt the need to clarify. "It's professional, not personal."
"I'm not worried about that," he said and waved her into his office.
Diana considered closing the door but thought better of it. That might seem too weird. Too intimate? But if he wasn't worried about it, why should she be...
She took a seat on the near side of the desk. Behind Dan, the wall was decorated with plaques and ribbons attesting to his thirty years of service to the citizens of New Cambridge. An American flag stood in the corner mounted on a wooden pole, and in the other corner, on top of a metal filing cabinet, there was a picture of Dan with his wife and two sons. The room smelled like a combination of manly aftershaves: Canoe and Brut and Old Spice.
"So?" he said.
"I'm fine," Diana said. "How are you?"