The Doll's House

‘Double?’


‘Lavinia lost a baby that year too. A little girl, I understand. She was never the same afterwards, but, like many, she hid it well.’

‘You say Adrian Hamilton’s death was a possible suicide? Was there an inquest?’

‘There was an investigation, but I heard little about it, other than the rumours. They tend to be very loud and far-reaching, Detective Inspector.’

‘Thirty years back, you say.’

‘Around that time. Now Keith has drowned. You never know what’s ahead of you, do you, Detective Inspector?’

‘There’s been another drowning, Isabel. Jimmy Gahan’s body was found yesterday.’

‘Oh, dear Lord.’

‘It was close to where we found your son-in-law, in the canal.’

‘Heavens above.’ Isabel Blennerhasset turned her head away from O’Connor, her neck narrow, lined, and looking like a featherless bird.

O’Connor could see that the last piece of information had unsettled her. Lifting herself up from the couch, she leaned heavily on her stick and walked to the French windows, which were filled with a view of the estuary. Despite the cold, she opened them. The breeze swooped in around them, the noise of squawking seagulls sounding like laughter. Isabel Blennerhasset kept her back to him.

‘My daughter and son-in-law, Detective Inspector …’

‘What about them?’

‘He met her on the rebound, you know. An older woman broke his heart,’ she faced O’Connor again, ‘not that I ever thought the lowlife had a heart. Wait here, Detective Inspector. I’ll get my daughter for you now.’





Clodagh


When I arrive at Gerard Hayden’s, he still doesn’t mention my bruises, although they’re a lot deeper now. I remind myself that he isn’t a friend. I’m paying for his services. And even as I think this, I know I’ve already crossed a line. The two of us are in this together, and for the first time since meeting him, I wonder about his personal life. Gerard Hayden has all the appearance of a man living alone. I’ve not sensed that anyone else shares this house. There are no photographs on the wall, nothing that might belong to someone else.

Before we start, he questions me again, asking if I’ve spoken to Dominic or Martin. I tell him that I’ve decided not to.

‘Okay, then, Clodagh, if you’re sure,’ he says.

I ask him again if my regression is unusual.

‘Some people when they regress only hear things, others might simply see things. Not all their senses are realised. But you are slightly different again.’

‘Because of the dolls,’ I say.

‘They definitely complicate things.’

‘But you said they might be part of my subconscious protecting me.’

‘Yes. Or cutting things up in such a way that you can’t really trust what you’re remembering.’

‘So I shouldn’t set much store in what they’re saying?’

‘That’s exactly what’s complicated about it, Clodagh. What they’re saying could be the very thing you should be listening to.’

‘I see. But about the hearing and seeing …’

‘What about it, Clodagh?’

‘During my regression, I could hear and see, but I could also smell and touch. More importantly, I felt like I was inside that little girl’s head.’

‘I know.’ He stands up and paces around the room, as if the last piece of information has unsettled him.

‘Gerard,’ I say, sensing he might be reluctant about bringing me back again, ‘I need to go back. I need to know if my subconscious is protecting me, and if so, from what. There are large chunks of my memory missing, and I don’t understand why. The missing bits are making me feel stuck. I can’t stay in this nothing place forever. Where I am now is not a good place to be.’

‘Very well,’ he says. ‘Let’s start.’

This time when I regress, I realise I’m somewhere different. I’m inside the doll’s house. Jimmy is there, and so are Kim and Katy. Jimmy is telling them a story about a sailor who travelled the high seas. Debbie and Sandy are there as well. I don’t know where Sebastian is.

Debbie says, all smarmy, ‘I’ve invited Mum and Dad to tea. Take out the good china, Clodagh. You know how fussy your mum is, and don’t forget the blue vase with the lovely yellow flowers.’

Gerard asks me where I am.

‘I’m inside the doll’s house.’

‘Who else is there?’

‘Everyone except Dominic. He’s playing football. My doll Sebastian isn’t there either.’

‘What else can you tell me, Clodagh?’

‘Debbie’s invited Mum and Dad to tea. My mum has a bump. I think she’s pregnant. My little-girl self doesn’t know. She thinks Mum is fat. Sandy wants me to give Mum one of the chairs from the dining room with the tall backs so she can be comfortable.’

‘Go on.’