The Doll's House

‘There is another way, Dominic. There has to be.’


‘Clodagh, I have to right the wrong, make amends for it all. I turned my back on him too. I also have to pay the price.’ He then points the knife at me. ‘I have to cleanse the sins of the past, Clodagh. There is no other way. Our lives have been built on lies and secrets.’

‘That’s not a reason to die.’

‘Isn’t it?’ He smirks, and again I sense him drifting.

‘Afterwards, Clodagh, I became the man she leaned on most.’ He looks away from me, again almost in a trance. ‘Her trusted ally. I nailed my colours to the mast, taking her side over his. You have no idea, Clodagh, how suffocating it was. Her constantly over-compensating for what had gone before, almost as if keeping our relationship sweet held everything else at bay.’

I can almost taste the anger rising inside me. ‘And what about me, Dominic? What did that make me? The fucking traitor?’

He stares at me.

I can hear dogs barking outside.

‘She always loved you.’ His voice rises above the noise.

‘She didn’t!’ I roar, wanting to hit out at him.

‘She loved you. She just couldn’t show it.’ He lowers the knife. ‘She wasn’t well after the baby, and then every time she looked at you, she saw …’

‘Saw what, Dominic? What did she see?’ And again I’m screaming at him.

Our eyes lock.

‘She saw her own failings, Clodagh. How one day you might work it all out and know everything.’

‘I don’t understand. Why would that matter?’

‘Don’t you see? Mum knew she had me, lock, stock and every fucking smoking barrel, but you – she never knew when you would remember. She thought by keeping you at a distance, in a strange way, she was keeping you with her. Better to have a distant daughter than none at all.’

‘And the baby, Dominic? Did she blame me for that too – did she?’ For the first time since this crazy conversation has begun, my body is shaking uncontrollably, the urge to heave so strong that I don’t know if I can keep on talking. ‘Tell me!’ I roar, ‘DID SHE?’

His anger gives way to softness. ‘I don’t think so.’

But I can’t let it go. ‘Do you know what I think, Dominic? I think when Emmaline died, I died for her too.’ At this, my body gets a new form of stillness. ‘It’s a funny thing, the truth. When you hear it, really hear it, it’s as if a bloody loud silence slots everything into place.’

‘It ends here, Clodagh. It ends with the two of us.’

I don’t doubt him, and I know what he means, with him looking down at the knife, as if it’s an extension of his arm.

‘We’re damaged goods, Clodagh, both of us.’ I see him tense, determination returning to his face. ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fast. I know you’ve already suffered enough.’

Whatever anger I had collapses inside me. I’m finding it hard to think, but I latch on to one single thought: I won’t abandon my daughter. I won’t abandon Ruby. And as Dominic drifts into another half-trance, my eyes are drawn to the narrow strip of daylight beneath the attic door, as I watch it go from light to dark, then light again. The dogs have stopped barking.





Ringsend


Kate sat in the back of the unmarked police car as it sped from the city centre towards Ringsend. Although the siren was blaring for most of the journey, she did her best to keep focused.

On reaching the outskirts of Ringsend, she got the call from O’Connor.

‘Kate, it looks like Alister Becon is down. McKay is being questioned by Quigley and Patterson at Harcourt Street. We have a male and a female in the attic space, presumably Dominic Hamilton and Clodagh McKay. The sharp-shooters are resuming a position inside the house, hopefully with a decent view of Hamilton.’

‘How was Becon killed?’

‘Stabbed. Same MO as the others, so we know our man is armed with a knife. We’re not sure of what else. The sharp-shooters reported hearing a male and female voice inside.’

‘Assuming it’s Clodagh and Dominic Hamilton, considering what Valerie Hamilton said about her husband’s state of mind, and what we already know about the killings, he may be at the point of advanced psychosis.’

‘Anne Holt will be doing the negotiations. She’s here already with the rest of the ERU. Once Maloney gets the all-clear from the sharp-shooter inside the house, we’ll be good to go.’

‘How long have you been there, O’Connor?’

‘Here in Sandymount?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Three-quarters of an hour. What are you getting at?’

‘If he hasn’t killed Clodagh yet, it tells us something. Even in a heightened level of psychosis, moods can swing back and forth, one side of the brain looking to dominate. But if he was clear about wanting Clodagh dead, she would be dead by now. Something’s stopping him. He may not even be aware of it but he’s looking for something.’