The Doll's House

He puts his head in his hands, as if he’s in pain, and I’m afraid he won’t tell me what he has to say. I plead with him again, ‘Dominic, please tell me what happened next.’ I can’t hide the nervousness in my voice.

He looks up at me, and then his words are spoken in slow motion. ‘He had already been drinking. That was why he hit me so hard. He and Mum started roaring at each other again, and he stormed out. Mum was crying. You were too. Then Martin and Stevie called. I brought them up here to the attic. They started slanging the state of me, my face bloated from his fist. I ignored them. I went back downstairs. I took you up to the attic too. I told the boys to stay quiet. We had torches and we were whispering. It felt exciting. You were playing with Sandy. I thought everything would be okay, it would blow over. But then I heard him come home.’ Dominic stops talking. He looks like he’s in some kind of trance.

‘Dominic, what happened when Dad came home?’

My words jolt him back. ‘I heard doors slamming, glass smashing. You started crying. I told you to stay here. Martin and Stevie were sniggering. They didn’t know. None of us could have.’

‘Know what, Dominic? Jesus Christ, tell me.’

‘I told you to stay with the boys. I went downstairs, and that was when … I stopped in front of their bedroom door.’

‘Why?’

‘I was scared. He was so angry. I stood in the doorway, doing nothing. The same way I had when Alister Becon attacked her. But this time it wasn’t her under attack, it was Emmaline.’

‘What are you saying?’

‘I saw him. I saw him kill her. He lashed out blindly. The crib fell over. She hit her head. Mum was screaming, “She’s dead! She’s dead! You’ve killed her!”’

‘Oh, God.’ I put my hand to my mouth, hardly able to take it in, but he keeps talking, like I’m not there any more.

‘Emmaline looked perfect,’ his words are soft, ‘there wasn’t even a mark, not at first, but then her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and then came the …’

‘Dominic!’ Again I’m screaming. ‘What came next?’

‘The silence, Clodagh, the long, agonising silence that said nothing could ever be the same again.’

I stare at him.

‘Then I walked away, Clodagh. I came up here. I told the boys that the baby wasn’t well, that they had to go home. You started to cry because you were scared. I took you to your room, told you to stay there.’ Dominic’s eyes lock onto mine.

Everything feels shattered, savaged by memory, shredded, torn and soiled. My mouth is wide open. I’m finding it hard to breathe, but Dominic keeps talking. ‘I saw him kill her, Clodagh, and I did nothing.’ With that, his tears come, years of guilt heaving with every one of them.

‘I didn’t stay in my room,’ I say.

My words surprise him. He stares at me.

‘I crossed the landing and opened their bedroom door. Mum was standing by the window. Dad had his face in his hands. He was so upset, but she was angry, and full of hate.’ I realise my hands are shaking. I hold them together tightly. ‘I cut my dolls’ hair.’

‘What?’ He looks confused.

‘Afterwards, I cut off Debbie and Sandy’s hair with a scissors. I didn’t want them to be pretty any more. Mum was pretty, really pretty. That was why Keith Jenkins loved her.’ I wait before finally saying, ‘Dominic, it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t either of our fault.’ But even as I say the words, a part of me doubts that they are true. What if I hadn’t said what I did? What if I had said nothing?

I feel rage, fear and then uncertainty, until a form of exhaustion takes hold, as if our past has become bigger than both of us.

‘Dominic, you’re not well. You can’t be, to have done what you’ve done. Now, you need to tell me everything, including why Alister Becon expected Martin to come through that door.’

Instead of answering me, he turns the knife in his hand, the blade glinting, and I wonder for the first time if I will be the next to die.





74 Strand Road, Sandymount


‘Listen, Maloney, I’m going to phone Kate Pearson now, just in case.’

‘Okay, but I’ll be giving the instructions.’

O’Connor’s voice was sombre as Kate answered his call. ‘Kate, how long will it take you to get over here?’

‘To Sandymount?’

‘We have a possible hostage situation on our hands. I’m working with Maloney from ERU. He’s heading this thing up. We already have two sharp-shooters in the premises. We’re waiting for them to report back. Once they do, we could be calling in a hostage negotiator. Considering we could be dealing with someone psychotic, it could make a difference if you are on board.’

‘But, O’Connor—’

‘We’re not going to put you at any risk. I know how your involvement in the Devine and Spain murders went badly wrong. We’ll set you up with detectives in one of the adjoining buildings. If you’re happy to work with the negotiator, your communication will be by audio link. The only people going into seventy-four Strand Road will be the two sharp-shooters already deployed, and the hostage negotiator.’