‘I was asking if you thought Lilli Devine was holding something back.’
‘We all have secrets, O’Connor, but she’s just lost a daughter. She’s hardly in a position to welcome any criticism of Caroline.’
‘What’s your call on it, then?’
‘Well, considering the information Emily gave us about Caroline’s body image, it gives us an insight into how Caroline thought about herself. What Emily said went beyond Caroline thinking she wasn’t pretty. She said Caroline thought her body was ugly. That’s a strong word for a young girl to use, especially when you take it in the context that it was a big enough problem for her to share it with her sister.’
‘But isn’t all that looking cool crap just something every kid frets about these days?’
‘Maybe, but combining it with the weight loss, it means Caroline was going through more than the normal level of pre-teen doubts. It could be the weight loss was less to do with wanting to look like Kate Moss and more to do with not wanting to develop physically. Either way, she seemed to feel vulnerable.’
‘What are you getting at?’ O’Connor asked.
‘Pre-teen is a turbulent time, and how we develop during that period forms the adults we become. If there are problems, it’s not unusual for them to manifest themselves at that particular time. Feelings of low self-esteem, becoming overly self-conscious, thinking you’re different from everyone else, they all raise their ugly heads in any number of ways, not least of which is a feeling of vulnerability and a desire to be accepted.’
‘And the book of poetry, what do you make of that?’
‘If our killer was the one who gave it to her, it means he befriended her in some way. It confirms she didn’t perceive him as a threat, probably the very opposite.’
‘Just as well we’re visiting Jessica Barry next,’ O’Connor said, turning the car a sharp left, ‘she might have some idea what new friends Caroline was keeping in the last while. It’s a little over twenty-four hours since we’ve found her friend’s body, hopefully it will concentrate her mind, and not do the very opposite.’
‘She’s another link all right,’ Kate agreed. ‘If Caroline did obsess about her weight and appearance to the degree that there were fundamental changes physically, then her vulnerability may have been something the killer was attracted to, may even have manipulated.’
‘And how would he have done that?’
‘Well, any number of ways.’
‘Give me one.’
‘For a start, if he recognised her vulnerability, the simplest way to gain her trust would be to display his own.’
O’Connor slid the car into a parking space and turned off the engine before turning to her. ‘Like what?’
Kate pushed her hair back from her face. ‘Okay, this is just complete conjecture, but let’s say he came across as someone kind, someone the rest of the world had been unfair to, a person on the margins even. Well, that might have appealed to Caroline’s own sense of perceived isolation. She could have seen some of her own pain in him, and therefore considered him harmless. He wouldn’t necessarily have needed to have a lot in common with her. In fact, the more outside her realm of experience he was, the less able she would have been to recognise any of the normal warning signs. If our man targeted Caroline, there is every chance she wouldn’t have seen the danger signs until it was much too late.’
O’Connor looked like he was mulling this over. ‘For what it’s worth, Kate, if they did meet somewhere, my money’s on the swimming pool in Rathmines. This little lady we’re about to meet might just shed a whole lot more light on things.’
Kate nodded. ‘Before we go inside, would you mind giving me a minute? I just need to make a phone call.’
‘Sure, no problem. I could do with some air. I won’t go far.’ He got out of the car and headed off down the street.
Kate tried Declan’s mobile three times, but each time it rang out. That meant it was on, but he wasn’t answering – or was he choosing not to answer? As the ringing tone reverberated in her ear, her mind drifted back to the black-and-white image of Caroline in the grave, the clay covering her body like an extra layer of skin. Down the street, she could see that O’Connor was taking sneaky glances at the car, obviously hoping her call was finished and she was ready to get on the job again. A body in a makeshift grave. She felt the anxiety rising up through her and kept the unanswered phone tight to her ear, stealing a few more seconds to compose herself. It could have been her, in a grave like that. She could still feel his hands, grabbing her, the intensity of his intent. The memory was never far away from her, still raw even after all these years.