‘She got fucked up. There, satisfied now?’
Kate kept looking steadily at Emily. ‘And how did that happen, Emily?’
Emily shrugged. ‘She started to think the way she looked was more important than all the other stuff. I told her she was being stupid. I mean, in a way I understood, it is hard.’ Emily looked over at her parents. ‘I’d talked to her a couple of times about it, nothing too heavy, just sister stuff. I kept telling her how great she was at the swimming and how I’d love to be as smart as her at school. I felt she was getting sense. I mean, the things she told me about what she was thinking were just daft.’
Other than Kate and Emily, everyone else kept their silence. ‘And what were they, Emily, the things going on inside her head?’
‘Look, she thought lots of fucked-up stuff.’
‘But what specifically do you remember? It’s important.’
‘I can’t say it.’
‘It’s all right, Emily.’ Lilli looked at her daughter. ‘You don’t have to worry about your father and me.’
‘What does it matter now?’ Emily demanded, the rawness of her emotions clear in her voice.
It was Kate’s turn to give support. ‘Well, it may not matter a whole lot, but, then again, it could help us find whoever did this.’
Emily chewed a fingernail. ‘As I said, it was stupid. I kept telling her she was gorgeous, that she was wrong to think the way she did.’
‘And …’
‘And, well, it’s hard when someone doesn’t want to listen. No matter what I said to her, she kept thinking the same bloody thing.’
‘And what was that?’
‘Emily, just spit it out, please.’
‘I’m trying to, Mom.’ She stared hard at Kate. ‘If you must know, ever since she started changing, becoming aware of her body, well she talked rubbish about how her body was ugly, that she hated it. She didn’t want to grow up. It scared her.’
‘And what did you say to her?’
‘I told her that it would be okay, that I’d felt like that too at her age, and that she’d feel differently.’
‘Why do you think it scared her so much?’
‘Caroline was different.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, Mom and Dad will tell you. Caroline cared too much about everything, always did. I mean, half the time I wouldn’t even notice things Caroline would pick up on as quick as anything.’
‘Like what?’
‘Like anything. If someone was upset, or if a person needed help or something, Caroline was always the first to notice.’
‘She was sensitive, is that what you mean?’
‘Maybe. But lately when she was down and all, thinking those awful things about herself, no matter what I said, none of it made any difference.’
‘Emily, thank you. What you’ve said may help a great deal.’
‘She was very pretty, even if she didn’t know it.’
‘I know, and it sounds like she had a great sister, too.’
‘Not great enough.’ Emily’s eyes looked glassy, and it was obvious she was struggling to hold back tears.
Lilli Devine walked over to her daughter, cradling her like you might a younger child. Peter Devine looked at both of them, a man in total despair. The viciousness of their loss was palpable, like a vacuum sucking them down, beyond reach.
‘Lilli,’ Kate asked quietly, ‘would it be okay if Detective O’Connor and I had another look at Caroline’s bedroom?’
‘Of course,’ Lilli answered, her voice weak and brittle.
As Kate and O’Connor walked upstairs, Kate looked back down at Shelley Canter and the family, all of them looking like seasoned performers in the final act of some Greek tragedy.
≈
When Kate and O’Connor entered Caroline’s bedroom, the first thing Kate noticed was the view of the canal through the window. The room was exactly as you’d expect any young girl’s bedroom to be – cheerful, bright bedcovers with matching purple curtains, an array of items on her dressing table from tweezers to a small heart-shaped frame with a smiling Caroline and another young girl. There was a portable television on a high bracket in the corner opposite her bed, and a white wickerwork laundry basket. To the right of the bed, there was a tower of schoolbooks, behind which stood a low wooden bookcase filled with books. The room smelled of freshly washed sheets and looked like a room the young girl might step back into at any moment.
‘I assume your guys have already examined this place from top to bottom?’
O’Connor raised an eyebrow, as if her question was ridiculous. ‘You assume right, Kate.’
‘Nice view of the canal. I’ll want to step outside again after we’re finished here.’
‘Sure. But what are you looking for?’
‘I don’t know, at least not yet.’ She nodded at the heart-shaped photo frame. ‘Who’s that in the photograph with Caroline?’
‘Jessica Barry, I think.’
‘Makes sense.’