‘They don’t expect me at Ocean House, so I’ll be working from home today. I want to go over all the images and notes again. Something else might just raise its head.’
‘There’s a televised reconstruction going out later, they’re filming part of it now. Is there anything you want to throw into the mix?’
‘What about the Tuscany connection?’
‘Nolan thinks it’s too early, and I agree with him, but Rohan has released details on the crucifix. At the moment we are playing it low key, stating it may be significant or it may not.’
‘It will still have an impact. The media is a powerful tool, O’Connor, you know that. My advice is to get everything you possibly can in there without instilling panic, but the visuals of both girls’ last movements is going to hit home. You can be sure of that.’
‘Leave that one with me.’
‘Okay, but one other thing, O’Connor?’
‘What?’
‘The photographs from Tuscany, they’re only of the burial site. Did you get any of Silvia Vaccaro before she died?’
‘I’ve asked for them – I should have them this morning. Either way, once Gunning gets to Livorno, he’ll use his charm, but I know what you’re thinking.’
‘Similar features to our victims.’
‘It would certainly make things nice and tidy, Kate.’
‘Let me know when you hear back.’
‘You’ll be one of the first people I call.’
Ellie
I EXPECTED MORE FROM DR EBBS. I GUESS I EXPECTED him to believe me. When he didn’t, it felt like the way it was before, when things like that mattered to me. Not being believed is of no consequence when you don’t care – but when you do, it disables you, like losing your voice, the ability to speak. Some piece of you dies inside. It has to, otherwise you’d go completely mad.
At first, when I was with the good doctor, I was so angry I wanted to fly into a rage. But then I remembered. It’s when you are most frustrated, when you are struggling to make people listen to you, that they want to listen the least. They start to look at you as if you are insane. The more hopeless it becomes, the more desperate you are to be believed, and the more they begin to doubt every word you say.
It didn’t take long for my anger to turn inside. I scolded myself for my foolish eagerness, for telling him everything I’d learned from Bridget. He should have sensed how it had turned my world upside-down. How could I have been so stupid? It was like I was right back to the time after the fire, when I knew the truth, when I knew someone had killed Amy. Now my head wants to explode, knowing he has killed again.
Blast Dr Ebbs to hell, what does he know? All his fancy talk, all his promises. ‘I’m with you all the way,’ he said, wanting to help me, worried about how everyone else had let me down. He even had the gall to question my silence. I should have known he would be no different to the others. I know well enough that I’m speaking the truth.
When Bridget came this morning, she was taken aback by my questions. Her surprise was to be expected I suppose, what with me not normally being the talkative type. Even if I had enquired about the weather, she would have been surprised. But afterwards, she at least listened. I explained to her what I’d heard, that I’d only got bits of it and that I needed to know the rest. Without telling her all the reasons why, she told me everything she knew. Bridget being Bridget, she had the whole story.
The more I heard about the murders, the more I felt like someone had slapped me in the face, roaring at me to do something, anything, other than nothing. I was afraid, for sure, remembering things from before, like some awful dream I was being forced to live again, with all its vivid horror. Only it was worse now because at the back of my mind, the silent roar was gaining voice, telling me that I had allowed it to happen.
I had not known where my questions would lead me. Maybe I thought it would turn out to be nothing. Maybe I thought I’d imagined all the similarities with Amy. But hearing Bridget recount the details, the pieces of the jigsaw fell into place and I felt more convinced than ever that what I was hearing was exactly what had happened to Amy. That realisation, that conviction, scared the living daylights out of me.
When Amy died, I had no fight left in me to argue, but after listening to Bridget I realised that if what she said was true, it meant this time, more than ever, I had to make people listen. This time it had to be different.
I was careful with Bridget, but then I didn’t want to burden her with the truth. I didn’t want to scare her. She would have wanted to help in her own way, but I knew Bridget wasn’t going to be able to make things happen. Dr Ebbs had believed me the first time, so there was no reason for me to think he wouldn’t believe me again. I got that one badly wrong.