“That’s . . . that’s fine. Valentino’s sounds good.”
She didn’t know how he could be so glib. Less than twenty-four hours earlier, she’d shot and killed a man. It didn’t seem to have any effect on him. He was just so happy. So relieved. All the pressure was gone from his shoulders. His trial had ended. Hers was just beginning.
She gave herself a little shake. What was wrong with her? For five years, she’d begged, pleaded, bargained, prayed—anything that would bring him back to life. Her dreams had come true, and she just wanted some space. Some time to be alone. To think. To understand what she was feeling. Or not feeling.
To talk to Chase. To disappear.
Josh pulled up to the valet in front of the restaurant.
“We’re not dressed,” Aubrey murmured.
“It’s Nashville. If the country stars can go to the five-star restaurants in jeans, so can we.”
He swept out of the car and beat the valet to her door. He swung it open and reached for her hand. The ma?tre d’ gave them a look of derision when he heard they didn’t have a reservation, but Josh slipped him some bills and he found them a table.
Josh ordered champagne for them, ostentatiously choosing a $420 bottle of Dom Pérignon. She fingered her menu, deciding. He ordered for them both, antipasto, frutti di mare, vitello Marsala. He spoke Italian now, apparently. He winked at her as the waiter conversed with him like he was native-born. When the waiter glided away, Aubrey gave Josh a tremulous smile.
“I need to use the ladies’ room.”
“Of course. I’m sorry, I should have asked.”
He let her go.
She still couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t do this. This was not part of the bargain.
There was a pay phone near the bathrooms out of the table’s line of sight. She popped in a few quarters and dialed a number she’d memorized.
The phone rang twice. A deep voice answered.
“Yes?”
She swallowed hard, fighting the tears that rose unbidden.
“Arlo? It’s Aubrey.”
CHAPTER 69
Fairy tales don’t come true. Parents die and leave you alone in the world. Little girls get molested. Lovers die; husbands lie, and disappear, then try to pretend all is well.
Aubrey hadn’t thought her heart could break anymore. She was wrong.
She hung up the phone and made her way back to the table. The champagne had arrived. The sommelier popped the cork expertly and poured. They clinked glasses. She took a deep drink, praying she didn’t lose her nerve.
Arlo promised it wouldn’t take them long.
And she needed to make a clean break.
Josh watched her for a long moment. “So. Where do you want to go, my darling? Anywhere in the world. What do you want? You say the word, and it’s yours. I can finally give you the life you always wanted.”
“No.”
His face changed, a shadow crossing his unfamiliar eyes. “What do you mean, no?”
“I mean, no. As in, no way in hell. I don’t want to live in South America. I don’t want to have surgery, change how I look. I don’t want to play this game.” Careful, girl. Careful.
“What game? I’m serious, Aubrey.”
“Serious about what, Josh? After all of this, did you actually think we were going to live happily ever after, safely ensconced in your new little world?”
He looked at her like he was seeing her for the first time. She could almost hear his thoughts: Who is this woman? Did I create her? Or is this who she’s always been?
She’d been a criminal once, and here he was, asking her to go back to her old ways. But she’d changed, damn it. She’d changed for him. Hadn’t she?
His voice was tight, his face hard. “I thought you’d want to be with me. With your husband. Do you know what I’ve gone through to keep you safe?”
“I don’t care. Jesus God, Josh, do you have any idea what you put me through? Did you ever stop to think about what I’ve been dealing with all these years without you?”
He whispered, harsh and wild, “Why is it always about you? What about me? Playing dead isn’t the easiest thing, you know. I gave up my life to keep you safe. And the surgeries, all the planning, sleeping with one eye open all the time . . . My God, Aubrey, I did this for you. For us. I’ve sacrificed the last five years to find us a safe place to live, a safe way to go on with our lives.”
Aubrey shook her head, her curly hair standing on end from her hands restlessly pushing it out of her face. His face was hard. She didn’t recognize him anymore, and it wasn’t just the surgery.
“Please. You did this for you, Josh. Not me. Not us. There is no us. Not anymore.”
She couldn’t believe the tone coming out of her mouth, one she’d never used with him, one of derision and hate. Josh flinched like she’d hit him.
She crossed her arms and stared out at the sea of faces in the restaurant.
“This is over.”
“What?” His voice was filled with dismay.