Love Is Pink!

He stood still for a moment at the entrance to my living room. Actually, it looked like he was posing so he could be properly admired. A tall, lean figure. Finely chiseled features, intelligent face. Carefully coifed hair tinged with gray. Really très distingué. Valentin von Gertenbach—a genuine dream man.

“Ah, Michelle! How I’ve missed you!” He emphasized his words with a fluid hand motion and stretched out his arm toward me. Then he paused. “What happened to you?”

I looked down at myself. I was wearing faded jeans and a sweatshirt. I only had socks on my feet. No jewelry, no makeup.

When I didn’t answer right away, Valentin’s expression became irritated. He scanned the room and settled his gaze on the cardboard box. “Oh, you’re working. How unbefitting. You should have the cleaning staff do this. That’s why I pay them, after all.”

I shrugged.

He stroked his hair and put some effort into conjuring up a dazzling smile. “Michelle, dearest—I have something to tell you.” He paused, clearly expecting an excited reaction from me. Since I didn’t move, he started again. “I’m about to fulfill our biggest wish. I’ve decided to separate from my wife, definitively, so that in the future I’ll be able to spend every free moment I have with you. What do you say to that, my darling?”

“Oh,” I answered.

Valentin pressed his lips together, then he opened his mouth and sighed. “I knew you’d be happy. But to see you totally reduced to silence . . . you’ve always known that I’m a man who keeps his word. Isn’t it a wonderful Christmas surprise?” He slipped out of his camel hair coat and carefully hung it on the coat rack, on the hook he always used. Taking big steps—in truth, he practically glided—he walked over to the sofa area to sit in the chair he always sat in while visiting me. He stopped abruptly. In his place was a blanket, and atop it a dog. Now the dog got up, growled warningly, and bared his fangs.

“Calm down, Baby,” I said, and the dog crouched back down in his seat without taking his eyes off of Valentin.

“What’s that?” Valentin said incredulously with a disgusted expression on his face. You’d think he’d just seen a cockroach.

“It’s a dog,” I said.

“I see that, Michelle! How did you come about this freaky creature? It’s not even a purebred!”

I hadn’t moved since Valentin had come in. I could see him well enough from my position. “You were in the middle of telling me your news,” I said. “Please continue.”

Valentin looked around the room, unsure, and finally took a seat at the outermost edge of the couch, as far away from Baby as possible. He swung one leg on top of the other dramatically, smiled victoriously, and said, “Now, my darling. As I was saying—I’m leaving my wife.”

I nodded slowly. “Fine. If I’m understanding things correctly, you’re leaving her just when she needs you the most.”

Valentin cringed as though I’d slapped him. “For years I’ve given her everything she needed. I was always there for her. And now? Now it’s my turn.” He hesitated and added, “I mean, it’s our turn.”

“Valentin, Valentin,” I said.

“Why are you shaking your head?” he asked, looking completely confounded.

“I’m just wondering something. Would you leave me in the lurch, too, if I needed your help?”

“You can’t compare this with that. And what does it even mean to leave in the lurch? What are you trying to insinuate? Between my wife and you, there’s a world of difference!”

“Difference?” I said. “Could you elaborate on that for me?”

Valentin struck his thigh with his open hand. “Sure. We are not married. We are together because we are soul mates. Because our destinies are in sync.”

“Ah. Well, that’s not enough for me.”

Valentin furrowed his brow, an unmistakable sign that he was slowly but surely losing his patience. “What?”

“It’s not enough for me to play the role of a kindred soul.” I walked over to the window, briefly looked out without recognizing anything, and turned back to him. “Can you guarantee that you’ll be there when I need you?”

“Michelle! What’s this about?” Valentin leaned back in his seat and stared at me. “Why are you harping on this? Why do you suddenly want and need so much? You can’t tie me down like that! Where is this new attitude from? This isn’t like you!” His next words were spoken with an almost conspiratorial tone. “Darling, we have an open relationship. And, before, you were always more than happy with it.”

I thought about it briefly. “Before no longer counts. There are new rules now. At least there are for me.”

Valentin didn’t answer at first. A look of realization began to appear on his face, quickly turning to an expression of horror. He jumped halfway up off the couch. “Oh, my God! You did take the pill, right? You know that I don’t want any other children. You aren’t pregnant, are you?”

“I’m not,” I confirmed calmly. Valentin went almost limp with relief as he sat back down on the couch.