Love Is Pink!

I was dreaming of Valentin—a nice, chaste dream. It was actually kind of strange, when I think about it. Valentin was wearing a coarse wool sweater with a Norwegian pattern—something he’d never wear in real life. I could definitely feel his beard stubble, yet Valentin never had beard stubble. He placed a great deal of importance on shaving twice a day.

The deafening clamor of “Run Run Rudolph” woke me. Music, but of the worst sort. It sounded like a bunch of teenagers were banging crappy instruments in a garage.

I sat up in bed and looked at the alarm clock, still drunk with sleep. Ten after five. About the same time I might normally come home from a party, drink another glass of champagne, maybe nibble a shrimp sandwich, and then snuggle up in a freshly fluffed-up down bed until at least 2:00 p.m.

But I’m digressing.

I looked for the “Off” button, couldn’t find it, and finally pulled the plug out of the wall.

Quiet.

I quickly dressed, and then woke up David and Emma, who were sleeping in the canopy bed. The little imp woke right up, hugged me, and tried to tickle me.

I let her chase me around the suite for a little while to make her happy. Once David got up and dressed, we were ready to leave.

First, though, I completely plundered the minibar. I even took the schnapps. (Not that I’d ever be seen drinking something so déclassé in public, of course.)

Knowing that Valentin’s queen’s magic credit card would cover everything, I also stuffed the clean towels into our suitcases, right next to the bathrobes. I didn’t even leave the soap. My bag looked as though it would burst, but when it came to high-end products, it could always hold a few more.

David was acting somewhat distant this morning, and I tried not to let it bother me.

We rode down in the elevator, snuck quickly past the unstaffed front desk, and again found ourselves in the middle of a bitterly cold, moonlit winter night.

“Where did you park the Citro?n?” I asked. Breaths of smoke rose up with every word I said.

“If I’d parked in front of the hotel, they’d immediately have towed it, so I drove it to the grounds of a nearby construction company. I’m very familiar with the way construction companies operate. The parking spaces are only used during the day. At night, it makes no difference who parks there.”

“Well, as long as you’re sure about that,” I said.

David pointed the way. He dragged my suitcase and carried his duffel bag. Emma hopped up and down next to me like she was on a trampoline. We crossed the street, walked down a private road, and stood in front of a two-meter-tall steel gate.

David let go of my suitcase and scratched his head.

“What is it?” I asked.

He pointed to the barrier. “That wasn’t there last night.”

“Of course not, you idiot,” I said. “It’s the company driveway. Naturally, it’s open during the day. At night no one comes, and then they . . .” I paused to make a sliding motion with my hand before concluding, “Then they shut it.”

“Shit!” David swore.

“Cover your ears, Emma,” I said. She immediately pressed her hands to her head and chanted, “Shit, shit, shit.”

“We need to get in there,” I said. “We have to get the car, and we have to be out of here by six—at the latest. That’s when the hotel’s early shift starts, and they review the invoices and credit card charges from the day before. If that happens, we’re—”

“Screwed,” David said.

“Screwed,” Emma sang out. “We’re screwed, screwed—shit, we’re screwed!”

“I’m going to climb over it.” David dropped his duffel bag and prepared to climb over the steely obstacle before us.

“It’s too high. You’ll never make it,” I said.

He jumped, clutched the top corner, and pulled himself up with a groan. He almost succeeded, but he lost his footing and slipped slowly and mercilessly to the ground.

“What is this?” Emma said to me while tugging at my jacket.

“Let go, Emma,” I answered shortly. “Not now. I need to help your papa.”

“It might work with a ladder,” David said, staring up at it with a skeptical look.

“What’s this button here for?” asked Emma.

“Don’t touch anything!” I hissed, but it was already too late.

The button made a click when Emma pushed it. Then we heard a buzz, and the loud noise of an electric motor.

“For heaven’s sake,” I said. “Make it stop. You’ll wake up the entire neighborhood.” That’s when I realized that the gate was sliding open.

Emma’s little hand pushed the button again. The motor stopped. The gate had opened enough for a person to slip through it.

“Clever child!” David said proudly. “We should have figured there’d be a gadget like that. I’ll go in and get the car. When you see the headlights, open the door completely.” He’d already begun to push himself through the gap.

“Be careful,” I warned him.

“What danger could there be now?” he said. “In the blink of an eye, I’ll be back with the car and we’ll continue our journey. Nothing can stop us.”