“I don’t have much to say,” he says with a shrug. “We only knew each other for about a year. Less than a year. Charlie always kept to himself. It was hard on him, I think. He came into high school during senior year. Most of us had been here the whole time. Girls liked him, I guess. I mean, he had kind of a reputation for getting around . . .” Adam blinks, and he gives Aubrey and me a stricken look. “He liked attention. Maybe a little too much. He was that guy, the new guy. Plus he was funny; he knew how to tell a joke. Right—maybe I’d better stop talking.” I feel cold all over. Adam’s giving Aubrey this puppy-dog look, all worried, and he puts a hand on her wrist. But Aubrey wasn’t even dating Charlie then—I was. Something here’s not right.
“It’s fine,” I say to Adam. “I don’t know why any of this is coming as a shock, after what we’ve already figured out.” Adam doesn’t bother looking in my direction. “So when did you two start hooking up?” I fire the question at Aubrey. It’s a gamble, but I have this gut feeling about it. I’ve always been good at reading people—except for Charlie, I guess. Bree’s face pales and Adam jumps in.
“What’s your deal? You this hostile to everyone?”
“Just to people who are hiding Charlie’s secrets,” I tell him. “How long did you know Charlie had two girlfriends? How’d you manage to keep that one from Aubrey, even after you met her? Is it such a stretch that you might have hooked up with Aubrey too? Maybe felt like Charlie didn’t deserve her?” Adam’s expression is priceless: open-mouthed, even disgusted. I find that all of a sudden, I can’t contain my rage. I grab the water bottle I keep stowed in my bag and pull off the top, chugging it until my throat loosens. I blink hard.
“Chill, Lena,” Aubrey says, her voice sharp, stronger than expected. Aubrey almost never lashes out like this, not lately. “Adam’s here to help.”
“I didn’t know Charlie had two girlfriends,” Adam says, his voice softer now. “I thought he was just this single, ladies’ man type, not a world-class douche. I’m really sorry. I didn’t know Charlie all that well after he left Bombay. We only met up that one time in D.C., but even that was kind of random. He called me up out of nowhere that weekend, and I had nothing else going on. Like I said, when he was here he was new. And he was gone all the time on weekends, so—”
“Gone where?” Aubrey’s the one with the confused look now. “Did he really visit you that much, Lena?”
“No.” My face burns. I can’t tell if I’m angry or embarrassed. “No, I only saw Charlie three times when he was in Bombay. Because it was so far.” Three lousy times. It was a miserable year. When he went away to college, it got better. But for so long, I thought Charlie wasn’t in love with me anymore.
“He went to Kerala a couple of times,” Adam tells us. “Maybe more. He knew a guy who owned one of those tourist boats. The kind that take people out for a hundred bucks, float around the backwaters for a night. He said this guy, Anand, could hook us up—a boat, weed, booze—” Adam pauses, looking slightly uncomfortable. “I think he wanted to be friends with my crew. I think that’s why he offered, but we never took him up on it. I don’t know who he went with when he went.” All of a sudden I’m embarrassed for Charlie, for us. My body burns with it. My eyes meet Aubrey’s, and then hers flicker down to the tabletop again; but from the way she reaches for her coffee and just barely sips it, her cheeks heating red, I can tell she’s embarrassed too.
“God,” I mutter. The whole thing has taken on this absurd quality, and part of me wonders if I want to go on. What do I have to gain from this chase? Another look at Aubrey and something tells me not to stop. “So. Do you still have the information? About the guy with the boat?”
Adam looks up, surprised. Then he nods. “Somewhere,” he tells me. “In my email, probably.”
I look to Aubrey for help, but she’s silent. What, Aubrey, not so certain he’s dead anymore? “Don’t you want to find out for sure if he’s alive, Aubrey? Or is it more convenient for you to keep on blindly believing he’s dead?” I know what drives me to say it, even though part of me hates myself for hurting her. I know my motive and so does she, and she feels the full weight of my words as she shoves back from the table and runs outside, her chair clattering to the floor behind her as she goes. Adam shoots me a furious look and runs after her, confirming everything I already suspect. I’ve hurt her, something I’ve thought recently I couldn’t do. But she’s betrayed me. I was starting to think we were becoming friends. I was beginning to trust her. I watch them as they stand outside, Aubrey crying and him wrapping his arms around her. I’m not done. That was just a bite. There’s a lot more in me.
11
Aubrey