“I’m busy,” Ali barked.
Outside, the sun seemed almost alien, way too bright. A lawn mower buzzed in the distance, and bees flitted around the newly sprung daffodils. Ali’s nose twitched with the scent of something close and sour, and after a moment, she realized it was herself. She hadn’t taken off the shirt she’d worn on her date with Nick yesterday.
She took a step off the patio, then paused. The trees at the edge of the property whispered and hissed. Ali froze. It felt like someone was watching. She looked back and forth, almost expecting to see a pair of eyes gazing out from the woods. A shiver darted up her back.
“Ali?”
She jumped, jerking her hand to the side and hitting it hard against the bricks. Standing at the edge of the yard were Spencer and the others, all of them looking sheepish and worried.
Spencer took a small step forward. “Are you sick? You look sick.”
“I could make you chicken soup,” Hanna offered. “Or brownies. My dad always used to do that for me when I was sick.”
“Maybe you should go back to bed?” Emily asked in a small voice.
Ali ran her hand through her greasy hair and wished she’d changed her shirt. “I’m fine, just a little bug,” she said, sighing. “I suppose I could tan for a while.”
“Oh.” Spencer pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “Well, okay. Let’s go.”
They headed back to Spencer’s yard. Spencer started chattering about a party next week that they were all invited to, and Hanna suggested they all go shopping for dresses after school on Monday. But with every step they took, Ali could feel their concern. That familiar thick, goopy nastiness filled her, and suddenly she wanted to shake something hard. She wanted everyone to feel as horrible as she did.
Aria glanced over her shoulder, giving Ali a worried look, and Ali felt a fire burn inside of her. She grabbed Aria’s arm. “Do you want to talk about anything?” she whispered in a fake concerned tone.
Aria paled and stared straight ahead. “No. I’m fine.”
Ali clucked her tongue. “It’s not good to hold things in, Aria—I’ve seen it on Dr. Phil all the time. You need to vent about this. Get it out. Otherwise you’ll be, like, sexually repressed or something when you get older.”
Aria squirmed. “Really?”
Ali laid her hand on her shoulder. “Yep. So, tell Dr. Ali what you’re going to do.”
Aria kicked at a clump of cut grass that the mowing service had forgotten to bag. “I can’t do anything about it,” she whispered.
“Do you think they’re, like, dating?” Ali’s voice rose with a mix of horror and excitement. “She was so young!”
Aria shoved her hands in her pockets and just shrugged. But her eyes were wet, as though she was about to cry. Ali turned away. At least she wasn’t crying right now. At least her mom was having an affair with someone her own age.
Hanna looked over her shoulder and frowned at Aria’s injured expression. “What are you guys talking about back there?” She lagged behind so that Ali and Aria could catch up. “Is everything okay?”
“Of course,” Aria said quickly.
“Everything’s great,” Ali answered. “Right, Aria?”
Aria flinched. She shot Ali a desperate, please-don’t-say-anything look back. Hanna shifted, looking conflicted. Emily and Spencer stopped, too, peering curiously at them from next to the raspberry bushes.
“And everything is great with you, right, Hanna?” Ali asked. “Well, except for Sean.”
Hanna twisted her mouth. The others looked at her curiously. “Hanna caught her new BFF, Josie, making out with Sean at my party the other night,” Ali explained.
The girls gasped. “Oh, Hanna, that’s awful!” Emily cried, placing a hand on Hanna’s shoulder.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Aria asked.
Hanna shrugged. “It seemed stupid to talk about it. Sean’s not for me, anyway. I’m over it.”
Ali heard herself snicker. “That’s for sure, Han. You definitely have your own way of getting things out of your system.”
Hanna’s head snapped up. The look on her face was one of both horror and betrayal. What are you doing? her expression said. Ali didn’t meet her gaze. She’d meant it when she’d promised Hanna she wouldn’t tell about the bingeing. But that was then. Dancing around it now felt almost fun. Her heartbreak was way worse than Hanna’s. And Ali wasn’t moronic enough to think bingeing was the way to deal with it.