“Thanks for the update,” Zoe said. The hurt in her voice was palpable. “Milo filled me in yesterday.”
“Zoe…” I bit my lip. “About what I said in the park the other day…”
“Yeah, no, it’s cool. Actually, you know what? It’s fine.”
I closed my eyes.
“You have fun,” Zoe said. “Eat a lot of maple syrup. And you know, call me when you get back. If you feel like it.”
I opened my eyes again as the dial tone sounded.
Her words felt like a slap in the face.
But maybe I deserved it.
I walked a long time before calling home. And when I finally did, I sat down, as if the weight of what was coming might be too heavy to withstand. An empty field loomed before me, wide and green as an ocean, edged on one side by a small tangle of wild rose bushes. Behind them, the sun continued its slow ascent, washing the sky in gold.
Mom answered, as I knew she would. Her voice was bright and crisp, devoid of sleep. She’d been up for hours. “Hi, Mom.”
“Hello, sweetheart. I was hoping that was you. Are you on the road yet?”
“Not yet. Listen, can you ask Dad to get on the other line? I need to talk to both of you.”
There was a pause. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah.” I tried to make my voice sound casual. “Everything’s fine.”
“All right. Hold on.” There was the bustle of movement, Mom’s hushed, firm voice waking Dad, and then the jangling of the phone as Dad lifted it to his ear. “Okay, honey,” Mom said. She sounded slightly more far away. “We’re both on.”
“Morning, Julia,” Dad said. “Everything okay? You need something?”
I cleared my throat. “No. I mean, yeah, everything’s okay. But I need to tell you something. Both of you.”
“All right.” Dad’s voice was louder now, with forced expectancy.
“Well.” I cleared my throat again. “I, I’m going to stay here. In Vermont. For a little while longer.”
“Oh.” Mom’s monosyllabic answer was barely a whimper, which I might have missed if I hadn’t been listening for it.
“Okay,” Dad paused.
“Sophie and I…we need to work some things out. Between us. And it might take some time.”
The silence on the other end of the phone was deafening. I fixed my gaze on several dandelion seeds as they danced along in the wind, scattering like a handful of rice. “Hello?” I said into the phone. “Are you there?”
“Are you sure, Julia? Is this something you really want to do? Right now, I mean?” Mom was pleading. Before I could answer, Dad jumped in.
“Your mom’s right. You and Sophie should definitely get together and discuss whatever things are bothering you, but now is not the time. I worked very hard to secure that internship for you at the courthouse, and there is no guarantee—none at all—that I will be able to get the same thing for you next summer.”
“But…”
“Actual courthouse experience is invaluable, Julia. Especially for a prelaw major. You will be able to include it on your resume. Before college. If you stay in Vermont, honey, that opportunity will be gone.”
“Yeah, I know.” I could feel myself starting to deflate, the surety I had felt just moments before floating off into the wind along with the dandelion seeds.
“You’ve worked so hard to get to this point, Julia.” Mom’s voice was unsteady. “You don’t want to mess things up now.”
“How would it be messing things up?” I asked. “It’s not like I’m telling you I’m not going to go to college. It’s just an internship I’d be backing out of.”
“It is not just an internship,” Dad said firmly. “It’s the establishment of real, viable contacts in a court of law. Where, if you work hard enough, you will be practicing your own cases someday.”
“God, Dad. I don’t know.”
“You don’t know what, honey?”
I don’t know anything right now. Not like I thought I did. “I’m just trying to figure a lot of things out,” I said instead.
“What things?” Dad asked. “About Sophie? Maggie?”
“Yes.” I bit my lip, realizing something for the first time. “And me too, Dad. Stuff about me.”
“What are you trying to figure out about yourself, Julia? College? Are you worried about going away?”
“No,” I said. “Going away isn’t the problem.”
“Then what is?”
“I’m just trying to figure out what’s best for me.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Mom said. “Just come home. We just don’t want to see you throw away any opportunities that might open future doors. You have to trust us on this one.”
My phone beeped.
“Can you hold on one second?” I asked. “Someone’s on the other line.” Before they had a chance to answer, I switched over.
“Dude, it’s me,” Zoe said.
“Hey.”
“Have you talked to your parents yet?”
“I’m talking to them right now. They’re on the other line.”
Zoe made a snorting sound. “How’s it going?”
“How do you think it’s going? I gotta go. They’re waiting.”
“Wait! Wait!”